Thursday, February 23, 2006

The visit

Last night, Ruby needed to rest and DD wanted to play. So we went to visit a neighbour with two little girls. They are moving soon, so we have to get in some good visits before that happens. The older girl is three, the younger is about 7 months. The 3yo just adores DD! She gets so excited and shows her every single toy she owns. They love to use playdough together. Last night DD squeezed out a long orange tube and some red stringies because they were making meatloaf and carrots ROFL. You should have seen the concentration, as the little girl cut the orange piece into rounds. Very serious work LOL. She had no idea what meatloaf was, but she was gonna make it right! The baby gets a kick out of watching the girls play too. At one point the older girls were dressing up in hawaiian outfits, and the baby was laughing fit to bust. I am not sure what was so funny exactly, but whatever it was sure tickled her. She is a fussy baby. Not fussy as in colicky, but fussy as in wants momma's attention every single minute. If she thinks her mother is doing something else (like to talking to me, even though she is holding baby in her arms and amusing her with a toy) she looks up at her and whines and fake cries. She will play intently with something, then "test" to make sure mommy is watching by turning her head slightly and whining to see if mommy will answer. When she does, back to playing LOL. I know, as a mother, it is hard to ignore it when our babies need something. But really, the child is not in distress and will not perish if her mother does not look at her every moment. When DD was a baby she discovered that when she coughed (for whatever reason) that people reacted. Especially my mother-in-law. Every cough meant she was dying of pneumonia, every sneeze must mean the child was critically ill - rush her to the doctor! It wasn't long before she would FAKE COUGH and watch to see what grandma would do. Then laugh like a loon. That is right, LAUGH. This is how diabolical children are. They scare us to death then laugh in our faces. Now, I was on to this fake cough from the very beginning and learned to ignore it. Which just proved to MIL that I was a bad mother. My child is choking to death and I am not running to her aid! Look, if I wanted to be laughed at I would apply for a job as an exotic dancer. DD still fake coughs (the sound is quite convincing, but I can guarantee that if she sticks her tongue out while she does it - IT IS A FAKE). MIL still panics each time. DD no longer laughs, but gets this sad puppy dog look on her face, acts debilitated, and sucks it all up lol. Our neighbour is distressed that this baby needs so much attention, and her husband (while he is a very nice guy) is not all that involved with the kids. Sure, he plays with them sometimes but they are HER responsibility. Momma is not getting any sleep (baby still wants to nurse several times a night). Momma cannot look away even for a moment. Momma is getting frazzled! When DD comes over to play, at least the 3yo is occupied for a while giving her a little breathing room. And I will take the baby and play with her and hold her so mommy can do a few things. But if the baby makes a noise, she comes running LOL. I keep telling her SHE IS FINE. She is just checking. "I don't want you to have to hold a crying baby" she says, as she dances around to baby's (and the other girl's) amusement. I assure her, that after several nieces and nephews who were demanding (three with very bad colic) I am not going to crumple if I hear a baby cry. Especially a fussy baby that is testing how long we will make her wait before mother drops everything to come play. Most of the people she sees lately want to hold the baby, then hand her back the minute things get noisy, stinky, or sticky. I can handle whatever happens, now go load the dishwasher ROFL! By the end of the visit, baby was sitting and playing fine. She would look over to make sure mommy was still around, but no fussing. Neighbour was gushing - how did you DO that? I said I didn't do anything. You just gave her a little space and trusted she wasn't getting killed every time she squealed. This girlie needs to know that other people can fulfill her needs, not just mommy. And I think if daddy was more involved that would help (but we all know how that goes, right? I had - HAVE - the same issues with DH). "You didn't spoil her, she isn't a bad baby. If anything you are TOO good a mother, and now she expects her every whim to be met immediately. Needs should be filled immediately, whims not so much. I know with DD, there were times when I needed somebody to just reassure me that I was doing okay, and that sometimes things don't work out the way we expect. And baby books are great, but life doesn't always arrange itself in neat paragraphs and chapters. Babies do things like hit milestones out of order, get distressing illnesses, spike fevers for no reason, and find new twists to everyday events just to keep us on our toes (DD decided to drool blood all over herself when her first tooth broke through, scaring us to death. In hindsight that white sleeper might have made the situation seem even more dire). It was getting late and close to everybody's bed time, so we announced clean-up. Once that was finished, I said "My work here is done. Your kids are overstimulated and sticky, it is time to leave" ROFLMAO! We will be sad when they go. And now, for your amusement, is a picture of Ruby in her bee costume. It never ceases to amuse me, even though many people have seen the picture before. I giggle every time. You can see her, and hundreds of other dogs in their bee costumes at


Wanda said...

Coconut wants a bee suit!!!! LOL! Ruby looks like she is enjoying her outfit. And ohmygosh - do you know how long I stayed on the bee-dog site?!

The Cookbook Junkie said...

So, is Ruby on the mend? That must have been scary. I hope it was a one time thing.