Monday, March 27, 2006


Doesn't that sound like some gross thing you would find in the imported aisle of the supermarket? Oooh, Blogger Spam. The folks back home love that stuff. So. What is it with the blogger spam? Thank goodness it is just one or two here and there, but if it gets worse I will have to "moderate" the comments. You can still make comments, but they will be sent to me to be approved before posting to the blog. I don't wanna have to do it, but I despise spam like you would not believe. These days we pay premium dollar for our bandwidth, and I view this as bandwidth theft. There is so much garbage and flotsom and jetsam on the internet, think of how fast and smooth it would go if all this junk was abolished? Rant over, just because I am too lazy to rant more, and it's not like there are people who LIKE spam that need to be convinced. Last night I roasted two chickens for dinner. They looked gorgeous, like a magazine cover. And the temp was right in all parts. But why were some of the joints still bloody? I have been having more trouble with bloody chicken. The meat was cooked perfectly, but I cut it off the bones to serve. Which kind of irked me because I had just wanted to hack the chickens into pieces and serve that way. Plus the veggies on the bottom, despite being in a 400 oven for two hours, were still not done. I always cackle when I see those recipes that say "Add vegetables to pan 30 minutes before serving". I guess if you like raw carrots and potatoes that would be the way to go. I know it is not my oven, I have two thermometers in there that I use to regulate the temperature. And my chicken was never frozen so it wasn't only partially defrosted or anything like that. But how to explain that the leg moves easily and comes off when turned, but the end spurts blood? Blech. Maybe improperly butchered supermarket chickens? I like the big, plump chickens from the fresh market better, but I got started too late for that. I love that, going to the market on a Saturday or Sunday morning, buying chickens and veggies and all the ingredients we need for a nice family meal. The chickens they have there are so plump and so clean, it is like roasting newborn babies. Tee hee! Of course, we had a surprise guest. DH went to get gas and return a movie, and came home with MIL. And of course, my veggies needed extra cooking (I zapped them in the microwave until tender, then threw them back in the oven at 475 to brown). My dark meat was bloody (and we all know, she only eats the dark meat right?). The gravy, however, was a work of art ROFL. I am genetically not able to make good mashed potatoes (which is why the roasted potatoes). I like them fine, but then again I don't mind lumps or brown spots, heck I don't mind the peels in there. But DH and DD are picky about their mashed potatoes (and only like them mashed). Nothing but complaints, so now I don't make them. I figure they are going to complain anyway, and this way it saves me peeling and mashing time. Gravy? I can make gravy (0r sauce) - good enough to drink - out of nothing. What kind of cosmic joke would make me a master gravy maker, but then denies me the ability to make mashed potatoes? "What a shame, all this good gravy and no mashed potatoes to put it on". Bite me. Once we were done eating I chopped up the chicken carcasses (I love that word for some reason. Carcass carcass carcass), threw them back into the roaster, and covered with water. A good long simmer and voila! The best chicken broth one could ask for. I want to make chicken and dumplings so the broth will come in handy. Which was wrong of course, because she wanted what was left to bring to her dog "since the rest was garbage". I got a good three cups of meat off those bones after boiling, plus the broth. Enough for chicken and dumplings and a chicken noodle casserole. How is that garbage? Buy your own chicken to feed your dog, lady. Gawd, it ticks me off to no end. Then they were looking for dessert. I had a frozen cake and a frozen cheesecake so they lucked out. Normally we don't eat dessert and I usually don't have stuff like that on hand. Both were coupon buys, otherwise it would have been an apple each. Of course, I got to hear that real wives/mothers/women make a handmade fresh dessert every day. Apple pie would have gone down nice. I had half a mind to take an apple and smash it into a frozen tart shell and place that in front of her, but I restrained myself. She figures my score was low since my chicken had bloody joints, my potatoes needed extra cooking, and I had frozen dessert. I figure my score is astronomical since I managed two meals (breakfast and dinner) on a Sunday and didn't walk out the front door when DH brought her in. Why do I let it get to me? I get so pressured, why do I even care? And why can't DH understand all of this? What topped off the evening was as she was getting ready for DH to drive her home, she hugged DD and said "Don't worry. Next Sunday I will make stew and you and your daddy can have a GOOD dinner". But I am just being overly sensitive. Ah yes, this is the life. Lying in the "good living room", on a $300.00 Queen Anne chair, in a sunbeam. She looks miserable, but really she isn't. She can be such a lovey bear. A real cuddler. She is also a hand-holder! Lately she has been snuggling in between us at night. Which is fine, but from time to time she reaches out a paw and gives me a SHOVE. I mean hard enought to wake me up. Like she suddenly realizes that I have stopped petting her and fell asleep. WAKE UP AND PET ME! Look at the schmutz face. She just finished drinking so her face is all wet, and she came to me for sympathy (and to wipe her face on me LOLOL). She needs her eyes washed. When she wants something, she gets such a baby face. And those eyes! Bats her eyelashes, and everything.


JenTX said...

OMG Dances. I don't know how you tolerate your MIL without blowing your top. Her remark about next Sunday she will make stew, etc. I think I would have gotten very close to her face and said "EXCUSE ME? We just HAD a good dinner. Please don't be ugly to me in my own house." Then the next time H (notice no "D") brings her to your home, I think I'd just walk right out the back door. How do you stand it? I'm so thankful I have a really good MIL. (and she lives 5 hours away)

Hope your blog is good therapy cause I love reading it!
My DH, who can skin a catfish, clean a dove, quail etc. blanches when he looks at a half eaten chicken carcass. I love to terrorize him with it! LOL
JenTX (wondering if there is a length limit on comments? and do I exceed it?) LOL

Sandy_in_IA said...

Dances, you much, MUCH bigger person than I could ever be to your MIL. Mine is so sweet, and also lives 4.5 hours away. I just could not keep my mouth shut...especially with her very last comments!!! Kuddos to you!

Sure enjoy your dail blog. Keep it up! Iowa! =)

Leslie said...

Your so funny Dances. You do handle yourself better with your MIL than I would. And DH wouldn't bring her home unless I knew about it first.
You perk up my day.

DancesInGarden said...

Thanks, you all.

I WANT to blow my stack. And sometimes I do. But there is an inner struggle. I mean, that is his MOTHER. I wouldn't want somebody to be rude to my mother, even if it's justified. I guess I have this deep desire to be polite.

I do believe, when she says certain things, if I was a cartoon dog my ears would go straight up, my eyes would pop, and there would be an exclamation point hovering over my head.

Dh mentioned it today, she said she wasn't trying to be offensive. He said "In what world would that not be offensive?". Hey, maybe he finally gets it!

Anonymous said...

Cate 52 here... Girl you need a ricer & then you'd be Queen of Mashed potatoes!!!

DancesInGarden said...

Cate, I have gone the ricer route before. My food critics say it just makes the lumps SMALLER. Perhaps it is not my potatoes but the consumer that is the problem LOL.

lorifromutah said...

Ah Dances!
It is indeed a shame you can make gravy (I can't..) and not mashed potatoes (which I can do). We need to get together and fix a meal sometime!

I'm just shakin' my head over MIL comments. I couldn't handle that kind of criticism either....

Love you blog darlin!

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