Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Smothered in my sleep.

I had dreams last night that my husband was trying to kill me in my sleep by covering my face with a pillow. Not violently, just camly placing a pillow over my face and I could not breathe. Each time, I woke to find that Ruby had pressed her flat face right into mine, and was covering my nose and mouth. I don't know if she was cold, if I had bad breath, or she was trying to keep me from snoring ( am all stuffed up right now). Or perhaps she figured if she bumped me off she could have the pillow all to herself, who knows. I know it was the dog and not my husband, but I still keep looking at him funny today. Once I had a dream that he was chatting up an old girlfriend, a person we both went to school with and had bumped into at the mall. A few nights later, I had the dream. I guess I had some insecurity about her, being an old girlfriend and all. Now, DH never actually did anything wrong. He barely even said hello when we saw her. There were no "sparks", he made no inappropriate comments. It was my dream, and my warped mind that created it. And still, I was mad at him for like two days ROFL! Another time I dreamt that he left DD in the car and she disappeared. I was REALLY mad that time. Poor guy just can't catch a break ;). A few years ago, friends of ours split up. He was having an affair, and told her over christmas dinner. They had just gone on a cruise together to celebrate their 10th anniversary. He had given her diamond earrings. Then he dropped the bomb "I don't love you, I am moving out, I have no desire for custody or visitation of our children" and that was that. Oh, he claimed there was nobody else, and lived in a hotel for about a week. Then he moved in with the pregnant 17 year old girlfriend that he didn't have. It was a shock, they seemed so happy. DH obviously had no part in this. It wasn't like he instigated it, nor even knew it was going on. But he was still in trouble, because he WAS a guy after all. We would be talking and she would tell me another hurtful thing her ex-husband did, and we would cast a glare at DH. He would visibly startle, then say "Hey! I didn't do it!". He does admit, though, that all men are pigs. Some try to deny it, some reject their own yearnings. But bottom line is they are all closet pervs and will do whatever they can get away with. I am a jealous person, sad to say. Not so much I get upset if he looks at somebody else, or admires a picture or something. Heck, I don't even care if he goes on an occasional jaunt to a strip club or looks at porn. But I don't like women paying him attentions, no sir. I can FEEL my nails growing. Especially if I know that this woman is using her wiles on him to GET something. We have a neighbour that does this. She parades around in a thong bikini, poking at her bikini line and asking the crowd of husbands drooling over her to feel and see if she needs another wax yet. Our yards go unkempt, while our husbands are over there crawling around picking crab grass and raking her leaves. Does not go over well at ALL. I pay somebody to mow our lawn because he doesn't do it, I better not catch him over there operating her mower. DH now knows that it is not a good idea to go over there. And he really does hate yard work. The view isn't as good, but he can still see her while sitting on our porch, sipping a beer, and watching the other neighbourhood saps do her bidding for a glimpse of her cleavage. He tells me that fair is fair, and if there is a manly shirtless neighbour I should feel free to watch them do yard work. I say it is NOT fair, since my choices are pastey factory workers that have been married for 10-20 years and think shorts with pulled up sweat socks is a good look. My complaint being of course, that there is nobody around for me to look at, not that he shouldn't look - tee hee! There is the yard-man, but I don't think he counts. I hire him to cut and trim the lawn, pull the weeds, that sort of thing. He is good looking in a muscular, pierced and tattooed sort of way. He is such a nice guy, but I find it hard not to stare while he talks. He has multiple tongue and lip piercings, a tattoo on his neck, and grommets in his ears. I find it unsettling that there is a view through his earlobes. Something in my brain has trouble wrapping around the fact that he knows the latin terms for the plants we have, can figure out a watering schedule, and can yank out bindweed while managing to save the veggies they are wrapped around, when he looks a buff and bald Tommy Lee. DD is transfixed by him, and she stares too. She draws him pictures and makes him cards and wants to bring him drinks of water. I am way too untrusting to leave them alone together, but he is very nice and patient with her when she wants to "help" him do the yard. I think he gets a kick out of her. Just about time to give him a call and work out the arrangements for this year. Hopefully tonight I get some better sleep. And maybe we will get a new tanned buff neighbour to look at this summer. Bwa-ha-ha-ha. Since I am SOOOOO ready for spring, I thought I would post something springy. And also, the battery charger was not working so I still don't have camera batteries. I snuck some pictures on our other camera (which DH thinks is HIS) but was foiled when I realized the card is different and won't fit in my little reader. DRAT. This is DD's closet door. It takes up so much of her room (almost an entire wall) I wanted it to be pretty. Her bed is situated so this is at the foot of it, and she wakes every morning looking at a spring scene. The perspective is off, but some of the individual elements are quite lovely, if I do say so myself. It was the first time I painted a scene on something so BIG. And it is much prettier in person. Some day I might fix up the rose bushes, which I was never happy with. I like the flowers, but the vines are wrong and they are too big relative to the trellis they are on. Oh well!

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