Monday, April 10, 2006
Long days night.
Last night, as I listened to the clock strike three, I wondered what I was doing up at that hour and wishing for unconsciousness. Not necessarily sleep, even, just not to be awake any longer! I was absolutely exhausted, but my left leg was giving me troubles and I couldn't get comfortable for the life of me. Not sure if I was sending out "awake" vibes or what but DD was up twice to use the bathroom. She and her dad ate at MIL's for Sunday dinner (stew *shudder*), and I think the last time she had tummy troubles at night too. We don't eat beef that often, I wonder if that was the problem? Anyway, sitting in the bathroom with a sleepy child who is pooping with all her might is not exactly my idea of fun night time adventures. TMI? Deal with it. You just have to read about it, the experience was much worse in the first person. My left ankle is having issues. It's funny, I can't actually FEEL that part of my leg. If you were to grasp my ankle I would feel a strange pressure (and might even get nauseated) but I wouldn't be able to actually feel something touching my skin. But for legs that I can't feel, they sure ache a lot. Around my ankle and down the top of my foot presently. Almost like how a bruise feels, sort of. And one spot behind my thigh, about a foot down from my patoot. Same ache. I am getting a lot of muscle cramping of the leg as well (all muscles, and they crawl around like they are posessed. Imaging the worst charlie horse, only it doesn't hurt because I can't feel those muscles but the sensation makes me sick to my stomach and they ache after). Try explaining the problem to a doctor. "My ankle and foot are aching". So they poke. Does this hurt? No. Does this hurt? No. Does this hurt? No. Well, nothing hurts. Well, I can't exactly feel you poking either, but it still aches. I usually get the blank stare right about then. The only think I can think of is I have been vacuuming a lot lately. I finally had to admit that no matter how many times DH says he will do it and promises to do it, it never seems to get done. Two inches of cat hair on the edges of the stairs, loose mud on the floor for three weeks, no piece of dirt is large enough to set off his inner voice that says "Hey, maybe it is time to vacuum". If I ask, I can guarantee it adds another week to the wait. Even though he insists, once I start to run the machine, that "I was going to do it, all you have to do is ask". Time to give someone my OWN blank stare for sure. Our vacuum (supposedly) only weighs 12 pounds. But that means little to nothing when you are hoisting it in the hair and carrying it while using the tiny, short, itty bitty hose to vacuum steps. I use the Roomba for the livingroom, and the bedrooms have tiny little swatches to go over so that is not a big deal. They need to create a robot to vacuum steps! I am already lusting after the roomba type robot that washes kitchen floors. Waiting for it to come down from 400 buckaroos though. I am lazy, but I am also cheap. So last night I lay in bed, not sleeping, listening for DD in case she needed another run to the bathroom, and thinking about vacuuming and washing floors. And suddenly it hit me. I HAVE FINALLY LOST MY MIND. What do I care for vacuuming? When has housework become something to lie awake and think about? How long before I start thinking about laundry detergent and planning stain management while not sleeping? Or going over the grocery shopping in my head trying to shave off a few precious moments from the trip for the highest efficiency? Or planning on cooking dinners that provide leftovers for another meal, two lunches, and a snack? See, one night of missed sleep and my life is spiraling into a Stepford abyss. And we can't have that, now can we? I immediately set my thoughts on something less domestic. I managed to imagine a trip to Mexico (I won't go into details but it mostly involved a beach, umbrella drinks, and cabana boys), but found my mind drifting away from the sun and towards a packing list. AARGH! I can't even take an imaginary trip, and I am reminding myself to pack sunscreen and extra undies for DD. I think I might need somebody to save me from myself. Aside from housework and not sleeping, I have been working. A LOT. We are talking deadline hell. I have a big meeting and conference coming up so things are gearing up for that. I knew it was taking a lot of my time (getting up early, staying up late, eating dinner at the computer, that sort of thing) but I hadn't realized that this time sucking was being noticed. My family gave me a hint. After offhandedly answering some questions - I wasn't really listening...busy working on something and only answering on automatic - I heard giggling. I focused my eyes to see this. Ruby caught on ages ago that to have any chance of me noticing her, she had to get into my line of sight, which is on the steps right above my laptop display. It seems the other two monkeys took her direction, and wanted to be noticed. Bunch of nuts, I tell you. So today I have a laundry list of deadlines to complete, a meeting to plan, and let's not forget vacuuming to do. And somewhere in there, I just might have to take a nap because if I look as bad as I feel, it might be a matter of public concern. First person to ask what's for dinner has to make it.