Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Done like a dinner
I have discovered something about myself. If the fate of the world, or my very own demise, depended on me being able to open a tupperware container or close a zip lock bag, we can kiss our collective patooties good-bye. Why can I not do these things? How is it that I have opposable thumbs and enough intellect not to pee where I eat, and yet I cannot for the life of me open a tupperware container or close a zip lock bag correctly. The perfect diet plan is starting to form. I'll simply store all my meals in tupperware containers. Unable to remove the lids I will lose weight for sure - from all the not eating and energy expenditure of wrestling with the containers. There is one exception to this inability. If I were to place a liquidy substance in a tupperware container, I can't close the lid in which case it leaks all over everything. Kind of like a backwards karma thing for complaining too much about not being able to get the lids off. "Want the lid off? I'll take the lid off. Now your sandwiches are soggy and your papers are full of soup, how do you like THEM apples?". Those karma gods can be cruel. I watch those ziploc commercials. The woman holds the item up, barely touches the edge and slides her fingers across. Then she happily turns the bag upside down and shakes that chicken leg around to show how effective the seal is. No matter how much I pinch, how hard I work to match up those little tracks, I can not seal a ziplock bag. Perhaps, like wild animals, they sense my fear so decide to yank my chain. Entertainment must be hard to come by when you are a little plastic baggie. I've tried the kind that has a sort of zipper pull in them. And I can get those closed. Only not SEALED. They never quite get closed all the way to the edge. The whole purpose is an airtight, leak proof seal. Right? And don't even talk to me about PressNSeal. How about "press and press and not seal, but look at it and it seals itself into a little ball". How's that for a product name, huh? I lust after those meal sealing thingies. You know the ones, that suck the air out then seal the bag? I wonder how many bags we will waste, sealing things to watch them squish down in the vacuum then open it to see them POOF back up again. The potential for abuse is quite high, in direct proportion to the cost of the bags to seal the food in. Which is precisely why I don't have one at this time. My sister has one, and we are getting ready to stage a "seal-a-meal" intervention. She seals, opens and takes a bit out, and reseals over and over and over again. She keeps any bags, washes and reuses because you can keep sealing them over and over as they get smaller and smaller. Now she has an ASSORTMENT of bags. Spends more time trying to match the size of the food item to the bags she has sitting around than it would to just EAT that last bit of cheese and save herself the trouble. She seals leftovers. She seals and freezes entire meals. She seals her flour and sugar and dry pasta. Once I left my keys on her counter and she vacu-sealed them. Okay, that did not happen but it COULD have. I suppose I should be glad that she gets such use out of the machine as we all chipped in and got it for her as a gift. Maybe I'm a little guilty, feel sort of responsible for the part I played in her sealing addiction. Maybe I just want to confiscate her machine so I can finally rid myself of tupperware and ziplocs forever. I took a walk around the yard (giving myself time to calm down after a tupperware incident) and noticed that a few things are in bloom. We concentrate on foliage here. Sure, many of our plants bloom but I didn't want to have a big show in spring or fall and nothing in between of interest. I tend to find beauty in the unconventional. For example, dandilions. I think they are cheerful when they are yellow. And who doesn't feel a little bit of magic when making a wish and giving a strong BLOW and sending those little feathery fairies into the wind. I have been known to eat the fresh new greens (cooked and raw) and if you have the patience to pick off every speck of green the unopened flower buds are very good sauteed with a bit of butter. I just don't like how the crowns look messy when the flowers aren't open or the look of the bare stalks after the down has blown off. Otherwise I would be more than happy with a dandilion lawn. My bleeding hearts. What a long story these have! They've been here for years but haven't had a chance to shine because something kept happening. Two years running my father in law pulled them out thinking they were weeds. Then a third time my own husband did the same. Each time rescued and lovingly replanted. They are available everywhere now, but when I bought them they were rare here and I had to use mail order. One replanting was too close to a bush that thrived the next year and totally engulfed them. Finally, I think we have the best spot for them and no more danger of being pulled out and cast aside as "weeds". I wonder if I can take this little flower stalk as a sign that everything will be okay in bleeding heart land. These are, of all things, brussel sprouts! Part of my harvest froze before they had budded enough to be picked. They laid there, fallen over, all winter. I figured they would provide winter food for some hungry creature when there was snow and food was scarce. Imagine my surprise when they started GROWING this spring. They are flowering, so I won't get any stalks and buds to use. In fact, these will be yanked out when the spring clean up is done right before planting this years veggies. But still, cheerful yellow flowers. I can't remember what this is called. I love the bright orange flowers. They especially look stunning with dark blue-purple lobelia but I don't keep things watered enough here to keep the lobelia alive (if you haven't experienced orange and electric blue/purple together you have to try it. They practically glow together). After the bloom fades, the center becomes an odd and interesting hairy puffball that eventually dries out. They look like those small fuzzy pompoms you can buy for kids crafts.