Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Some lessons are hard to learn

I love tomatoes. Big, little. Red, yellow, orange, striped green. Pear shaped, round, heart shaped, fluted, you name it I love them. Well, I did once try some that were fuzzy like peaches and wasn't too fond of them, but otherwise I haven't met a tomato I didn't like. I have a particular fondness for tomatoes that taste "real" - meaning more like a home grown jewel rather than a mealy pink hard plastic thing (although those do have their place. Namely in a salad made from iceburg lettuce and dressed with Thousand Island type dressing). Grape tomatoes were made for a person like me. They are small. They are cute. They are delicious. And they can be popped like peanuts while you are on the computer and don't get the keyboard greasy. Yes, I am drawn to a snack food based on whether or not it messes up my peripherals. Sue me. Remember that gourmet market? Well I was there again. And look what I found. It's hard to see it, but I've already gotten into these. I've had one of each kind. Not IN something, just eaten out of hand like an apple or a grape. So far the yellow ones are my favourite. Okay. So in order to make it "okay" to eat some of these I had to finish off the container of grape tomatoes and two full size "on the vine" cluster tomatoes I already had in the house. It would not do to have four dollars worth of tomatoes rot in the name of trying the newest thing. So. If you count the fact that for supper we had tortellini with tomato sauce, that is a heck of a lot of to-maters. And in the interest of sharing way too much information, did you know that if you eat too many tomatoes with the skin and seeds, that your body pretty much rejects them? Well, just the skins and the seeds. And not right away. And when it does happen, it happens all at ONCE. The rest of the tomato miraculously and mercifully seems to have been "used up". I should have remembered this lesson. I discovered grape tomatoes while I was pregnant with DD. They were very new in our area. I think I ate two containers in one sitting. Since I had such bad morning sickness and heartburn, finding something I could eat that would not make me ill was a big deal. And the fact that they tasted so good made it even better, right? Whoa, was I wrong wrong WRONG. Those two containers of grape sized time-bombs announced themselves in the middle of the night. Poor DH thought I was in labour. I assured him I was NOT in labour - and "Please go back to bed" - through the bathroom door. It was a horrible experience. You would think I would remember it and avoid having the same problem again. Well you SHOULDN'T think that. Do you even know me at all? So last night, as I was getting some unexpected reading time in the middle of the night, I was reminded of why it might not have been a good thing to force myself to finish off the tomatoes I had in order to then eat the tomatoes I wanted. But they do look good to start off with, don't they? In other news, we got a new chandelier. I think I forgot to tell you. It was a couple of weeks ago. We liked our old one, although it was shabby. It came with the house and it turned out the builder had it in the back of his truck for a long time. I was dented and crooked and they had touched it up with wall paint, but for some reason I liked it. I decorated the bare bulbs with shades from the craft store, to which I had hot glued ribbons and beaded trim. It was to chandeliers what a velvet Elvis painting is to a Rembrandt. And I LOVED it. But it was starting to short out and scare us and it that meant it was time to put up a new one. We replaced the overhead light from the other part of the kitchen (again, it was a used fixture put in the house when it was built, touched up with wall paint and also starting to short out). While replacing them it was apparent that they had BOTH been wired incorrectly. I won't get into all of that, it gives me a headache. But I am quite proud that we were able to recreate what I loved about the old chandelier without having to whip out the glue gun. No picture of the other light. It is a beautiful pressed glass and antique bronze cieling hugger. Every single picture makes it look like a great big breast with a nipple on it. You know, the whole PG thing. Speaking of breasts, mine are fine for those who have asked LOL. No infection, healing fine, steri-strips are off. They were worried about it's "redness" but it seems that they are used to people with flesh that has colour other than fish belly white and pink. DH has been keeping himself busy building "the thing". Some call it a sun shade, or a pagoda, or a screen tent. Not sure what the official name is. It's one of those cast iron frames with a canvas top and screened sides that sits on a patio. This thing is gianormous. I don't get quite where it will go once it is completely assembled, but since we need four people to lift the roof and place it on the pillars, that will never happen so we don't have to worry about it. We'll just leave the fully assembled roof on my poured concrete patio so the neighbours can think we have royalty camping out in our yard. The dog finds it suspicious and refuses to walk past it to get to the grass. So I have to BRING the dog out each time, sidling past this tent and along the flowerbed carrying what is essentially a bowling ball that squirms. Then repeat the trip backwards. Now, we KNOW four people. But not four people that are sound enough to lift this three hundred pound thing over their head and rest it on a six foot tall pillar. The ones that are healthy enough are not nearly tall enough, and the ones that are tall enough are falling apart. One more trip to the lawn gripping a living cinder block that snorts and I will be ready to start knocking on doors and begging the neighbours for help. That is another lesson we will do well to learn. Stop buying stuff that needs more than two people to build or get more friends. Well, more non-imaginary friends anyway *waving at the KT!*.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Dances, you very much need to write a book. Seriously, I think you would have a line of people waiting to buy it. You are a fantastic story teller and I look forward to each new story.