Monday, October 16, 2006
She wore her coat
I guess a week-end of punishment really does work ;). Actually, she wasn't punished. However, she was told she needed to EARN things. No TV unless you earn it. Want to play on the computer? You have to earn it. Do your chores, help when I ask, do as you are told, and be respectful. And that earning has to keep going, so being nice for three minutes and getting your gameboy does not mean that you can be nasty now. Nosirree, because that gameboy goes back in the china cabinet lickety split. You have to be nice the WHOLE time. I made an emergency call to the therapist (and thanks to all those who commented or emailed with support and advice, I really do appreciate it). He gave me permission to be "not nice". Meaning basically that I am not abusing a child by taking away priveledges and even if she dissolves in a heap and cries her heart out, she is not being traumatized. I think I spent so much time being hurt when I was a child, that I am oversensitive to the idea of hurting her. I remember what it was like to feel unwanted, unloved, feelings hurt. I guess I just go too far to try and keep her from feeling that way, and as many of you have pointed out - I am not doing her any favours. It was a hard, long week-end with a lot of crying and sobbing and hysterics (none of it mine this time). But this morning, she got up when it was time, brushed her hair when she was asked, wore the coat I pointed to, and put her shoes on instead of hiding. Despite an alarm clock snaffu (apparently I never really learned how to tell time and when setting an alarm clock that is really important) and getting up a little later than normal, we were ready in plenty of time. I just have to remember tonight that I can't let her get away with things, and hopefully I have learned my lesson. It will be a learning process though. DH surprised me. He said "maybe I haven't been paying enough attention to her. She wants attention, and you can't give her any more than you are so she isn't satisfied". He made breakfast with her, involved her in what he was doing. We all still need work, but I was gob-smacked that he came up with that on his own. Of course, we have been telling him that for months mind you, but perhaps it has finally sunk in. Her behaviour was like night and day. A little bit of validation from him, and she was compliant and obedient. Having to earn tv helped as well, and losing the priveledge (batteries taken out of the remote, and our tv doesn't have controls on it, you HAVE to use the remote), that was quite an eye opener for her. She went upstairs to her room and cried on her bed, and I didn't follow. Ruby did though, she is a sucker for extra loving, and a crying person is ALWAYS good for a cuddle or two when you are a soft, squishy dog with sad eyes. So that was our week-end. Retraining the child, and housework. I organized my yarn stash (mostly single skeins left over from projects, and it would make a pretty ugly blanket so no scrap afgans from that lot LOL). I have one basket of WIP's (works in progress) and assorted patterns, magazines, and pattern books that needs a home. But at least the rest of it is nice and neat and in stacked covered baskets. Remember when I said that we suffer from "surface creep"? Any bare surface area is immediately encroached upon by junk? My baskets had been stacked for less than an hour before they were hit. DH put some papers, a bag, and a picture he needs to scan for his mother up there. I warned him, if they are not gone by tonight it all goes in the trash. He needs some retraining too. Is anybody else finding it hard to get good chinese food lately? I used to LOVE chinese food. I can make most of it at home, but sometimes I like the greasy, fried, restaurant, only-non-asians-eat-them kinds of dishes. Like chicken soo gai (almond chicken to our US friends). I can make the chicken, but it is the brown gravy I can't duplicate. All recipe books talk of chicken broth and cornstarch, and I can tell you, that clear goop is NOTHING like the gravy you get at the restaurants. But lately, the chicken has been bitter no matter where we go (I think the oil needs changing). And the other dishes are not so hot either. Way too much cornstarch in the sauces (if there are strings from the food to the fork, too much starch. I didn't order a plate of snot, thank you). Too much sauce altogether, really. And the meats are stringy and fatty and gristly. Blech! I can't get the high heat I need for the flavour I want in a stir fry, but their sauces are grossing me out. And the last three or four times the veggies were so overcooked and soggy it was stomach turning. And egg rolls. I used to LOVE egg rolls, but suddenly the bean sprouts were oddly stringy and gross. So I switched to spring rolls, which have a filling of cabbage and noodles and other veggies. Now THOSE are getting icky. The last one was filled with so much cornstarchy sauce, it was like eating a deep fried snotty jello. Barf! The place I used to love love love was bought out, and it is all downhill from there. I may have to put in that high BTU wok burner after all. It would give me an excuse to get that fancy hand-hammered wok....hmmmmmmm. I think restaurant food in general has gone down lately. It's like they figure people will eat just about anything, and not complain, as long as it costs under $14.00. We have been served more undercooked chicken in the last few months than in my whole life. It is one thing to serve a dish that us uninspired, it is a whole OTHER enchilada to serve food that can make a person sick. And speaking of enchiladas, we don't have a mexican restaurant here. Well, other than taco bell that is. I think it might be time to have BIL (who works next to Mexican Town right at the end of the bridge to the USA) bring us home some flaming cheese and a couple of combo plates. Or I could wait until my next Chicago trip, the area where I go is mostly Mexican eateries and Greek diners LOL. The food is cheap, plentiful, and very tasty. Not so hot on the waistline, but somebody has to sacrifice themselves. Then I could wax poetic about chiles rellenos and enchiladas, my two favourites. See what I mean about the waistline? Today I am planning on trying a blueberry muffin recipe, that calls for both coconut and macadamia nuts. I am hoping they are great, because I had to jump through hoops for those nuts. I didn't want to buy a whole big jar (not at nine bucks a pop) when I only needed like five to chop. If I love the recipe I would go that far, but what if it is only so-so? Our bulk food store sells just about any other kind of nut, except macadamias. "They go rancid too fast, and we lose our investment". I can see her point. But then I discovered a health food store that caters to Low Carbers. Specifically, followers of the Atkins diet. And the Atkins diet apparently really pushes macadamia nuts. They had these small packets of them, perfect size for how many I need. BUT. You can't buy at that store unless you have a membership. And I am not paying 25 bucks for a membership to buy 99 cents worth of macadamia nuts. So I tried to sweet talk the guy into selling me the nuts, even without a membership. Take it from me, it is impossible to sweet talk a person who lives on artificial sweetener and protein powder. They aren't fooled for a MINUTE by sugar coating. I had to get tough, apparently, and changed my tactics. "Look, I could stand at the door and find somebody to buy them for me like an underage wino outside the liquor store. How would it look, to have a woman of MY stature propositioning your customers? Customers who come here to buy the products to help them LOSE WEIGHT. How would it look, to have a fat woman begging them to buy stuff for her? It wouldn't look very good at all. But if that is what I have to do.....". The guy practically tripped over himself to sell them to me. All is fair in love and muffins. I'll let you know if it was worth it ;).