Friday, November 03, 2006

Princess Potato Part Deux

On Halloween, after DH got home from work he brought in the decorations and moved the pumpkins from the lawn to the porch (in the hopes they would not be found and smashed before he could dispose of them). This called for a lot of mucking about in flower beds and dirt piles. As he was making himself a coffee, I saw something fall off his pant leg and crawl across the floor. "What is THAT?!?!" I asked. "Is that a potato bug?". He immediately got a container, and we welcomed home Princess Potato II. This bug is much smaller than the other one was so it will be interesting to watch it grow. Assuming, that is, we don't kill this one. DD was ecstatic to wake up the next morning and find her new friend waiting for her. This bug doesn't seem as thrilled with her (the other one actually seemed to know and like DD, which was odd, because it was a BUG but I digress) but we told her to give the thing time to get used to her. Now I have something very silly to say. I want to preface it by noting that it has been a hard couple of weeks, there are so many things going on, and my moods kind of go in cycles and I recognize that. I also recognize that my sleep also seems to work in cycles and the sleep cycle and the mood cycle are related. We will also submit for review the fact that I am less able to deal with DH's crappola when I am at a certain point in the sleep-mood cycle. Let us just say, there are times when I am more enamored with him and times when....not so much. This morning I had to bring my car in for repairs (it is not good news, but we will discuss that later). Dh is on afternoons, I made arrangements to bring the car in after we bring DD to school. When I told him, his reply was "How are you going to get back home?". While he had the "you are on your own" tone to his voice, I thought maybe he was just asking to be polite or something, and answered "I figured you could follow me". This place is only a few minutes away, but not in a location where I could walk back or anything. He said he was too busy. He had things to do. He had to get his lunch in order then get ready to bring his mother to a funeral. And I am just going to say it, he hurt my feelings. When he brought HIS car in, not only did I have to call and make the arrangments, I ferried him around all day and back and forth and brought his mother to the bank and grocery store and hair appointment because she couldn't even wait one day. When his car was not going to be ready on time, he used mine to get to work. I walked to pick up DD (not a big deal, but still inconvenient) without a second thought. He couldn't even pick me up from the garage. I had to wait for a ride back, and when I got home he was sitting in front of the tv watching his morning shows. I asked what he was doing for his lunch, he said he decided to just get something from one of the machines. I asked what about the funeral. He said he didn't have to get ready until 10:00am. So why then, could he not follow me to the garage and bring me home? Hurt feelings again. So of course I told him he was insenstitive to the feelings of others, and this is a good example. And of course he got defensive and angry and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. My car will be gone at least until Wednesday, and not once did he offer to let me use his car, ask how I will get around, nothing. He grunted and said basically he knew it was not a good idea to bring it in. What was I supposed to do? The transmission wasn't working right, it was dangerous to drive. When will he learn that ignoring a problem is never going to make it go away? And since I am now all pissy about it, I might as well mention that he was supposed to bring my car in while I was gone. And that if he had, all the fluid would NOT have leaked out and the repair would have been less serious. Instead he DROVE the car while I was gone and used up all my gas and burnt out my transmission that we both knew was acting odd. He claims the transmission was fine all week. The mechanic says that he must have really been revving it to make the car move, because the tranny was now bone dry. Once again, however, it is NOT about the car, even though it is about the car. These are the things that DH has so much trouble understanding. The thing about the car and not bringing it in and driving it to the ground then not picking me up is about SO. MUCH. MORE. Sigh. We will talk about it next week in therapy, but for now my feelings are still hurt and I am depressed over a stupid car and my sister who is not happy and my DD who is being picked on at school and my bloodpressure and sugar numbers that are still not responding to meds nor diet and my inbox chock full of requests that are due yesterday. I do believe a nap will be in order later today. So. The transmission. It could either be that it just needs a new seal and new fluid and it will all be okay to the tune of roughly one week's pay. Or it could be that it is completely burned out and needs replacement to the tune of 3500.00 that I do not have. The car itself is only worth about 2 grand as a trade in or write off. Paying more than that to fix the transmission seems a waste. But I don't know that I can get a good quality car with low miles and good mileage and no rust for that same cost, which I still do not have. It's one of life's little quandries. The car is "worth" more than it is "worth". Either way, the soonest I get the car back is Wednesday. DH has already told me I am on my own for the errands and events planned this weekend because "he has other plans". Sometimes I wonder why people get married at all. Spouses are such jerks. It's times like this when I feel likea eating mashed potatoes or ravioli from the can until I puke.


JenTX said...

Dances, you are so much stronger than I am. I would have been in DH's face in a split second and showed him the error of his ways.

There is no reason for him to act this way. I would announce to him that since he didn't take your car in while you were gone, you were now going to using HIS car while yours is being repaired and he can figure out how to get around. No if, ands or buts about it. It's time he suffers the consequences of his actions~~or rather inactions.

Since he chauffers his mother around so much, does she have a car he can use? I would definitely make this HIS problem.

Have you thought about enlarging the compost pile recently? *WS*

Anonymous said...

What Jen said!

And I second the idea of enlarging
the compost pile... said...

the offer to come stay in my guest room still stands. remind him that what goes around comes around.


lorifromutah said...

THERE you are!
I was gettin' worried aboutcha.
It's been awhile since we've had a blog....

Sorr to hear about the problems.
DH and I aren't getting along so good right now either.....but after catching up on my 'reading' you got it worse!

I'm glad you are back!