Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The calm after the storm

Well, Christmas is done for another year. And frankly, good riddance LOL. It started out fine, but when you have to stretch out the season to accomodate everybody, by the end everybody is frazzled and cranky and it just isn't any fun any more. I have to admit, food wise this year sucked. Doesn't that sound horrible? But it is true. One dinner was roast pork and beef which is usually very good but this time the beef tasted off (as in rancid fat) and the pork was bland and stringy. Christmas Eve the meatpie was too salty to eat and the pizza was undercooked. The perogies were store bought so the dough was way too thick and they were cold in the middle (we won't talk about that yet, I butted heads with my aunt over that one. She kept turning everything down, I kept turning them back up so she unplugged them). Plus somebody bought lactose free sour cream and it was so bad (tasted like plastic) that people were throwing their food away. Christmas day dinner is usually 'okay' because it is turkey and I looooove turkey. It was over so fast that I can't even tell you if the turkey was good. By the time I made DD's plate and ran back and forth to get stuff everybody was done and somebody had cleared my plate. There was no dilly dallying folks, we are talking mere minutes. I couldn't make another plate because the food was "already put away". Then we sat in tense silence for an hour or two more before leaving. Not a happy scene. When you have whacked out families with lots of mental illness, the food is all there is to go on. If that sucks, then the rest is just down the tubes. Although, the veggie tree I made looked kinda purty. As for presents? Everybody seemed to like what we got them. Even the knitted gifts seemed to be really appreciated (for once, usually we get a polite "thank you" and they are tossed aside). We only got one compaint, and it was from a child, but she complained about every present so we weren't too put out. Dh was a bit ticked off that even though we bought them weeks ago and told the parents about it, his cousin still got their child the same movies. We had gift receipts ready, but it was just the idea that they KNEW we were getting those movies and ran out the night before Christmas and got him the same ones. As for the presents we got? We did pretty good. I do wonder about something though. Is it wrong to encourage one of your presents to stalk and possibly kill another one of your presents?

That there would by robo-raptor hunting down my i-cat. It's not that I don't love the i-cat, no-sirree! Quite the contrary. But the live cats have all been hunted and now won't come near it and Ruby hides under my chair when she hears the thing move. She liked it at first (and it really likes her, to the point that it will follow her anywhere when we put it on "roam" mode) and even seemed to want to play with it. Until she was sniffing it's face while it was in "hunting" mood and it sniffed her back, then SNAPPED at her. Nope, didn't like that. So now she hides. My favourite thing is to put it in "playful" mood and have DH or DD pet it (it nuzzles you in playful mood) then make it snap at them BWA-Ha-Ha-HAAAAAAAA! It stalked and attacked the plastic bag behind it for almost 20 minutes and I nearly wet myself I thought it was so funny. I wonder about myself sometimes. If I turn on the i-cat and set it on the floor, and put the raptor in hunting mood and set it to roam, it slowly circles the cat and hunts it. Hilarious!

I also got the pasta roller attachment for my kitchen aid, as seen on Iron Chef America LOL. It comes with a fettucini and spaghetti-linguini cutter as well. No more waiting for DH to roll my dough for me! NOODLES FOR EVERYBODY! Okay, that might be a little overboard ;). Dh opened the 'toch free' (no, that is what the package said LOL) can opener this morning and it broke on the first can he tried. There are no real instructions and the package is so poorly translated that we aren't sure what we are supposed to do. The can lid is completely wedged in the opener and we can't get it off. I dug the package out of the garbage and said we will bring it back to the store, can lid and all. I wish his mother would stop buying that junk from a certain store. The clothes are all irregulars (she once bought DH a shirt there and the pocket was sewn on right through all the layers, pinning together the front and the back). The food is expired or close to expiry. None of the electronics work properly. I loved the idea of the electric can opener, mind you, but she just doesn't learn that the place sells crappola.

Speaking of crappola, we got another gift from her - for the both of us. When I see a big box to the both of us from her, it strikes fear into my heart. Because, my dear readers, her taste is all in her mouth (and even there it isn't that great). She usually buys us BIG UGLY things. That are supposed to be displayed in places of honour like my good living room. But frankly, I just can't do it. I just can't. There was the four foot long covered wagon being drawn by broken mismatched horses that was also a lamp and played "roll out the barrel". There were the white plastic lamps with coloured beads stuck in them. There was the chandelier that looked like a giant bunch of orange grapes. Or how about the tapestry, almost six feet across that had Bo Jangles on it? Boy, that was a good one. Try as hard as I might, I cannot keep from showing the shock and revulsion on my face when I open these things so now I refuse to do it. I make DH open them, and I usually excuse myself to the bathroom while he does it. I don't want to see them, I don't want to be part of them, I don't even want to know we have them. And in that spirit, I bring you, THIS.

It's over a foot tall. It lights up. It moves. I live in Canada. There are just no more words.


anettemartinrn said...

oh, i LOVE it!!! your mil is a canadian redneck. glad to know you survived, so did we.

Anonymous said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.
Thank you Dances for bringing me some post-Christmas joy!

My bad gift was the bag o' bath stuff (bath pillow, bath mat for inside the tub, bath beads). Yeah...I don't have a bathtub; just a chower.

Naughty Kitty at KT

grdngrl_7va said...

YAAAAAYYY!!! You're back! I will be reading every day from now on, a good tip from the other readers at the KT. I have finally caught up reading your years worth of blogging, DH and I are still together and, as you requested, I just nodded north of us in explaination for not getting things done around here. I don't think you got back to the post I made on KT, but alot of us think you should write a book. You've got plenty of buyers already!
Happy Holidays!

Anonymous said...

All I can say is it had better be an antique. Then at least there would be someone out there willing to take it off your hands.