Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Cat in the Flat Hat

I have knitted in the round before. Using DPN's. No problemo. Yet for some reason, this hat is really testing my constitution. And seeing as I have a particularly weak constitution and poor character, this is a grande problemo. Yes, bad spanish is warranted - this is how serious the problem has become! In desperation I am in the process of starting AGAIN, this time converting the pattern to knit flat. So far so good, but then again I just started the first stripe. Nowhere near a decrease yet. I feel a bit faint thinking about trying to decrease backwards on the wrong side rows. This is for my brother. I made the executive decision to use some crappy leftover acrylic, not because that is my opinion of him LOL, but rather I don't want to give him a hat that will take more care than his dog. He needs a hat he can toss in the wash, wear in the rain, wrestle from the dog when she steals it, that sort of thing. And if I don't get off my rump and get some knitting done, he will be getting a brown and green stripey headband. Want to see something weird and freaky? Credric the murderous goldfish sleeps behind the filter uptake tube. He has gotten big, and frankly, it freaks me out when he does this. I am not sure if he is sleeping, hiding, what. But still, gives me the willies. This is the view from in front. Then from the other side. Yucko! He stretches the whole length of that tube, and it's almost 1 1/2 feet long. Now thatsa bigga fishie. I live in fear of finding him dead, he is waaaaay too big to flush. Went back to the store yesterday to get things we couldn't get or forgot the last trip. Now tonight I am going back again to get the supplies needed for our christmas baking. I am starting to feel like I need to start either working or sleeping at the store, to save driving time. The school informed us we CAN give home baked goodies to teachers as gifts as long as they are well wrapped and marked if they contain nuts, peanuts, strawberries, or dairy. So DD's teacher will get a cookie box (mixed cookies, about three dozen plus fudge, peanut brittle, candies, and so on). Her music teacher and early literacy (reading) teacher will get a smaller container of fancier cookies each. The secretary has been a great help to us this year, so she is getting a Starbucks certificate. Don't think I haven't noticed the grande cup sitting on her desk every morning LOL. I already know she doesn't eat sweets so cookies are out for her anyway. Either way, if we don't start the baking soon we won't have time to finish it all. I've done the "three a.m. chocolate dipping while cookies bake and cool" on the last day before Christmas vacation and I don't want to do it again. Off to make ANOTHER shopping list!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Christmas Hooker polish

Know what I bought today? Hooker red nail polish (no, not something to buff a holiday prostitute - they have no need to be shiny). But not just any hooker red nail polish. SPARKLY hooker red nail polish especially for christmas. There is no limit to the festivity, around here. It was right there next to the hairspray - another item I buy exclusively around Christmastime. The same bottle lasts for years and years. Or until the pump gets hopelessly clogged from months of disuse and I throw it away in a fit of pique ten minutes before we have to walk out the door to go to a Christmas party. Christmas parties are events that require hairspray, in case you were wondering. That is usually when I realize I don't have a single pair of hose without runs (including the brand new, right out of the package ones that catch on my hooker sparkle red fingernails and snag before I can even get them over a toe). Maybe I should consider leaving 11 minutes earlier and avoiding these debaucles. Of course, I added all that to distract you from the fact that I buy things in a store that sells nail polish, hairspray, kids nightgowns, and chocolate soymilk all in close proximity of each other. This week-end I bought several pieces that will be mixed and matched for Christmas and New Year outfits. As I pawed through my jewelry box checking on what I have to bling up the items, I came to realize that somewhere along the line all my good stuff has become JUNK. Boy, do I miss the eighties when chunky, gold tone plastic and rhinestones were de rigeur. I have only a few pieces of real jewelry, and they were all gifts. Which means they are proportioned improperly for me. I may like to say I am a delicate flower, but in reality, not so much. Not exactly dainty. I have a DH who sees me for my inner pixie and buys me sparkly things accordingly. Fine chains that disappear on my neck and are 10 inches too short. Tiny tiny pendants that either sit on my neck like a mole or get eaten by my cleavage - assuming I have joined three or four past gifts to make the chain longer. I needed something with more substance for the events we have this year, and I have NOTHING. Seeing as I am too lazy and cheap to go out and look for something better, I will attend holiday events looking unfinished. Perhaps I can sell "unadorned is the new bling" this year. Or not. Good thing I got the nail polish. I am woefully behind on my knitting. Working too many hours each day, and too many appointments. Doctors, dentists, therapists. These take hours out of my workday that I cannot give up, so my work hours infringe on my "social" time. That means the cooking, cleaning, shopping, knitting, and watching tv time. We won't talk about eating or going to the bathroom or sleeping, all items that are being pushed around these days wherever they fit. Or can be squeezed, really really hard. Dh asked when I was going to clean the aquarium and I laughed until I snorted and cried. Yeah, I can't find time to PEE. The aquarium for SURE is at the top of my priority list. *Snort!*. We have presents to wrap, the tree is up and decorated but I haven't finished putting out the rest of the holiday glam yet (and I am beginning to think those bins are just going to disappear back to the basement like I never saw them. Better luck next year!). I have about half the family/business holiday cards to fill out and mail. A handful of presents to pick up. How many days are left? Sigh. I might be able to take a breather some time around March. Let's all take a deep breath and think of happy things, shall we?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Dances Interrupted

I was supposed to go into the office today. I got up early. I did my hair and make-up. I was packed and ready to go before DD even got up. We were all ready EARLY. I am sure I don't have to emphasize how much of a miracle that is, but I will anyway ;). Only to find out they weren't ready for me to come. Oh, they still WANTED me to come in. But no way is this chick sitting and installing software for hours or crawling around under desks to connect equipment. Sorry, get all that done before I come in. They aren't all that impressed, but too bad. It is the first day doing the work of my boss (who quit very suddenly and left me hanging, in case you were wondering) and frankly, that is pressure enough without having to deal with training today. So far three backups have failed, one server is offline and we don't know why, and I don't have access to about half the folders I need to take care of all that. In other words, pretty much same old same old ROFL. We got a little shopping done over the week-end. Enough to convince me that many people are obnoxious idiots and complete pigs. What kind of people go through stores, ripping items off shelves and throwing them on the floor, stepping on stuff, and in general making it seem like they are fighting for the last vial of medicine of a sick child - only this is not a third world country and it is not medicine, it's a fricken BOARD game for cripes sake? Dh brought MIL out to finish off her shopping, and they had to sift through clothes on the floor to look for sizes. Shelves were bare in every department and you could tell where the sales had been because those areas looked like a tornado hit. They gave up, it was just too crazy and messy. Last night my sister asked me what we got for my parents. I told her, such and such plus a scarf each. "Is that all? That is like half what we spend". Well, first of all, my dad's scarf alone is 30 dollars worth of yarn. Not to mention the literal hours and hours of work to make the darned things. My mother's scarf has nearly sucked the soul right out of me, that has got to count for SOMETHING. And it goes without mention (well, not really because I am mentioning it now) that she and her DH make about double what Dh and I do. They have been married almost ten years longer than we have, and are at a different stage in their lives. It's not that I am miserly, but where do we draw the line? Presents are not love. Dollars spent on crap once per year do not translate into how much we care for a person. Yes, my gifts technically costed less, but they were chosen with care and planning, specifically for the two of them keeping in mind their taste, preferences, and so on. I am tired of "getting in on" a large purchase for my parents, who don't want nor need most of these items. I firmly believe that when it comes to pricey items that will be displayed, it is best to let people choose their own. I don't want to select a patio set for them. They have their own taste and requirements. I didn't want to get them "something for the house". I wanted to give mom something FOR HER and dad something FOR HIM. Can't manage it every year, but when I can the heartfelt individualized gift always wins in my book.