Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I need a break

I need a bit of a break from what I am doing, so figured I would blog for the day. I was up late last night working on something, and up early working on the same thing. My eyeballs are drying up like little raisins. I have about fifty bottles of different brands of eye drops, so you would think it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to have dry eyes. I could fund a small nation on what I have spent in eye lubricating products. It is not that they don't work. On the contrary. Most of them work fine. Great in fact. Like a breath of fresh air for your eyes. Only for some reason I cannot put eye drops in my own eyes. It takes me forever, and I blink each and every time. Or I turn my head at the last moment and end up with ear drops instead. I don't know WHY I can't do it, I just can't. My darling husband has, from time to time, tried to help me by putting them in for me. It never ends well. The final result is usually a lot of screaming, a bit of physical violence on my part, and my face covered in artificial tears that SHOULD be in my eyes but aren't. He has done everything from gently dropping them in while my eyes are averted to the side (it does not work. I know when the drop is coming) to actually SITTING on me and holding my head down. In that instance I kicked him pretty hard. I didn't MEAN to do it, I panicked. For a weak little blob with no energy, when I am motivated I am invincible ROFL. The last time we wrestled over the drops, he said "I am NEVER going to try and help you do that again. You are IMPOSSIBLE". He is right. I bought a brand that has a contraption on the end, supposedly to help idiots like me. It looks like an eye dropper botltle with an egg cup on the end LOL. You lie down, place the cup against your eye (with your eye open) then press down. Since it is dark in there you can't see the drop coming and supposedly your eye stays open. Fat chance. I have blinked each and every time. If DH tries the "sneak attack" method - you know, have a conversation with me and push it when I am not expecting - I blink every time. I think I can hear the plastic rub and swear there is a puff of air before the drop hits. My husband gets absolutely infuriated with me. "WHY CAN"T YOU JUST KEEP YOUR EYE OPEN!". Look, I am just overly protective of my eyeballs, okay? Sheesh. Somebody gave me a tube of eye "gel". You are supposed to sort of pull your bottom lid forward and squirt a line of this goo along it. Because it is thick you can't blink it away, and supposedly it is easier to apply. And I guess if you don't mind globs of vaseline stuck in your eye it is fine. IT WAS HORRIBLE. I couldn't see for an hour. If I could have plucked my eyes from their sockets and washed them, I would have. Without a doubt, the most disgusting feeling ever. According to my doctor there are some things I can do to help myself, aside from the drops. I can blink more. I tried that. Three homeless men and a crossing guard thought I was flirting and attempted to pick me up. Not working for me, I am afraid. I can drink more water. I don't drink much of ANYTHING in the way of liquids. I never have. If I drank a GLASS of water that would be a lot of water. No, something different please. I can stay off the computer. Now. You want to give me a snorting, choking, laughing fit? Tell me to stay off the computer. I am on this thing a MINIMUM of 12 hours per day. Sometimes longer. And if I add my personal time (blogging, recipes, looking up stuff, and so on) well forget it. There is no wonder I have rubbed the markings off three keyboards so far, and it ain't because I have sandpaper for fingers. He says the same thing for my hands (nerve damage sucks rocks). Stay off the computer to save what little function I have left. Is he joking? He also suggested I could get more sleep. Telling a mother that works full time she needs more sleep is like telling somebody they have to breathe to live. I KNOW I need more sleep. Now if somebody would just shove more hours into a day then I would be happy to comply. Some people just do not get it, do they? Oh well. I guess me and my dry eyes need to get back to work.


mtnester said...

Dances, try this: lie down (or tip your head back), and, with your eyelid CLOSED, squirt several drops of the medicine into the inner corner of your eye. Then open your eye and blink a couple times. Some of the eyedrops will easily (easy for ME to say) flow into your eye.

Julie said...

I remember my mother trying to put eyedrops in my father's eyes once. I must've been in grade school. I don't know if it tickled, or if the anticipation was just too much--he had the same problem as you. She made him lie on the bed, probably to try the method mtnester recommended. He giggled and thrashed arms and legs much like a wild pony or a wigglesome 9-year-old.

I have apparently inherited this condition. My mom can stick gas permeable contacts in her eyes and SQUIRT a STREAM of contact solution directly into her eye. Makes me twitch. But then, even tap water burns my eyes. But my "condition" saved me from a severe allergic reaction when the eye doctor's assistant tried to put the dialating drops in my eyes. Very few people are allergic to those drops. Luckily I twitched every time and she got most of the solution on my face instead of in my eyes. It gave me hives all over and I was told the next time I'd probably end up in the hospital. So. Being twitchy sometimes has its benefits..... ;-)

Anonymous said...

I was popping in to say that I do the eyedrops the same as mtnester. I close my eyes and let them slide in from the edge of my nose. I have to use them everyday (itchy eyes, not just dry)and there's NO WAY I could leave my eyes open and have the bottle hover over me. I am scared of hitting my eyeball with the container. Good luck!
Naughty Kitty from KT

Julie said...

Um, just so you don't think I'm some crazy random person, I just wanted to let you know that Julie = Parhelia from the Kitchen Table. So I might be crazy (ya never know!) and I'm kinda random in other ways, but not in a "wandering in off the street to post a weird story on your blog" sort of way. I only posted that 'cause I figure you like weird stories. :)

a.k.a. Parhelia

DancesInGarden said...

I live for people to wander in off the street and post weird stories on my blog ;)

Sandy said...

I can relate. Before I retired my job was medical transcription. I worked at home and sometimes 12 hours a day...But yeah!!! I quit!!! A year ago..

I feel for ya.