Friday, April 27, 2007
Time to spill the beans
I have been hoarding some secrets. I know, totally unlike me. Usually I am a kiss-and-tell-all kind of person, but here are a few things I have been keeping to myself. 1. Work. Our company has been through buyouts before, and when this one was announced we figured we would just go through the name change and dog and pony show like every other time. The company has changed names more often than Prince. There is always a shaky period when the two companies combine and new people replace some of the old "redundant" employees, but for the most part things go pretty smooth. This time? Not so much. Our COMPANY was not sold exactly, just the customer base. So we are out. No transition, no combining of offices and employees, just a firm handshake and a "please play nice until your last day". My day? June 12. And since the announcement, I have been working overtime to get all the projects done and requests completed and information pulled for the transition. Basically, the ship is sinking and there are a lot of rats and only so many rafts. As the water rises the rats are realizing there isn't limited space on the rafts, there simply are no rafts left. And there I am, trying to keep rat heads above the water line. And beginning to wonder why. Every day there is another kick in the teeth to prove that performance and dedication mean absolutely nothing, and the only people that benefit in this world are those who are underhanded, dishonest, lazy, and mean. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not crying in my soup over this. This job was killing me and we all know that. It will be nice to be done with it and maybe doing something different for a change. But the market right now for ANY job is not that good here. Everybody is laying off right now. Even the fast food places (a good indicator of the economy by the way) are laying off or at least not hiring. Scary thought, since the summer is coming and usually by now every place is hiring at least temorary staff. No, I am not looking to work at McDonald's. But I kind of need some of the people who WOULD take those jobs to do so and get off the market, and stop milling around making it look like there are idle people everywhere. Idle people looking for work is not a good thing. It makes the applicant pool look bigger, and filling a position seem less urgent. This week alone I got 6 rejection letters. Hiring from within. Looking for more automotive experience. Too old. Okay, they said somebody more "main stream" but I know what that means. I saw the interviewer. She weighed 110 soaking wet and was a foot taller than me. Younger and prettier, that is what the letter should have said. DH and I are at a good place right now in the sense that things will be tight, but I can take just about any job and as long as I make like 10 bucks an hour we won't starve to death. But that doesn't mean I have to be happy about getting a job like that. And since I am working so many hours trying to get things done, it's not like I can get proper networking done. By the time that happens, summer will be starting and it is not a good time. Anxiety anybody? So now you know, that for the next while I will be on a job search. I am on my third package of resume paper and so far nothing to show for it. I have always been nice to the law of averages, perhaps it will be nice to me soon. 2. Dogs. About a month ago, somebody dropped a pug off to be groomed and did not come back. When they were finally contaced, they said they no longer wanted the dog. The owner of the business said the dog could not stay there, and none of the employees could take it. Through family connections, and seeing we already had a pug, we were asked if we could take it. The dog needed medical attention and would have to be neutered. We are not exactly in the best place to get another mouth to feed, but the dog was going to be surrendered to the Humane Society. Knowing it had issues, "the pound" would most likely have put the dog down right away. We all know I am a sucker. So we finally grit our teeth and say we will take the dog, and make arrangements to have vet checks and operations and medicines and so on. The owner of the grooming business suddenly decides it wants boarding fees for the time the dog was there, and while we don't think that is fair at this point we just want to bring the dog home, and make the payment. We had been advised by the vet not to bring the dog home until the fleas and mange were taken care of, or else the boarding would not have been an issue. Today was the day. DD wanted to be part of it so we got her up before dawn. We drove to the business, to find it dark and locked. We wait. Finally it is time for DD to go to school and nobody has come, so we drop her off and come back. Somebody is there! But not the dog, alas. The original owner picked up the dog last night. After a full month, they changed their minds and wanted the dog back. The dog that cost us $400.00 in vet bills, plus extra for medicines, and about $300.00 boarding and grooming fees. The dog that we were bringing home TODAY. To say I was angry and upset is nothing. Why didn't they AT THE VERY LEAST call us last night? What a waste of time and energy. And how am I possibly going to tell DD? This was going to be HER dog, and it was already so bonded to her. It would spend an entire visit sitting on DD's lap or looking into her eyes. She is going to be devastated. Heck, DH got teary. He won't admit it, but he really liked that dog. We only have one picture and it is blurry, and I just can't even look at it right now. My heart is broken. We have already spoken to the police, and there is nothing we can do. Although we have a written agreement with the groomer, we have no proof that we own the dog because nothing was signed by the original owner. Basically if we were silly enough to spend money on another person's dog then the only crime committed was our own stupidity. 3. Craziness. We all know I am crazy. I come from a long line of loonies. Being able to admit that fact and accept it and seek treatment is what sets me apart. I spent some time on anti-depressants. Not because I was depressed, but rather they work extremely well for conditions like OCD and anxiety disorders. Who knew? I did so well on the meds, but eventually they made me so tired I could not function. At the time we assumed it was the Paxil doing it and when scaling back the dose did not help I was weaned off and we tried a jump to Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin made me very ill. I was nauseous all the time. I could not read, I could not knit, I could not watch TV. They said stick it out for 8 weeks and that would go away. I stuck it out for 12 and it did not, so we abandoned it. I noticed that my anxiety et al did not come back even with no meds, so decided (with medical approval, of course) to stay off the medications. For over a year, things went well. Then my personal life ramped up again, and some of the OCD came back. Nothing major. Then I started to notice that feeling in the pit of my stomach was back - the sort of flutery dispeptic feeling. Uh oh. Driving was starting to get difficult, I catch myself scanning for insects on nice days. Now that my personal life (work, other worries like the dog issue, MIL issues, and so on) is ramping up even more, it is unrealistic to believe I can continue like this and survive without some help. So, I will be going back on something (not sure what yet). And my other meds are no longer working for me. My blood sugar is up and down and all over the place despite good diet and care. My blood pressure is dangerously high even though I am taking the max dose of stuff for that. My cholesterol meds might be causing liver damage. All of that speaks towards facing some very tough weeks ahead. Detoxing from one med and adjusting to another, changing diet YET AGAIN. The work search and all the ups and downs from that, the stress of finishing off the job that I have. I am asking you now, to please have patience with me. I will try to keep my posts light and funny, but let's be real. There are going to be some bad days to post as well. I will try my hardest in later posts to take my bad day and put an amusing twist on it like we all know I can. I don't want to just drop bad stuff in your lap (like I did today) because who wants to read that? And in that interest, I add a final note. A letter to the person who stole our new dog: Dear Dog Owner. Thank you for giving us a chance to spend some money on your dog. We were planning on using that to buy new shoes and food and stuff, but what the heck. I can always add a duct tape strap to the ones I have walked the bottoms off of and call them flip flops. Summer is almost here, I am sure it will look most fashionable. Since you obviously don't know much about your "new" dog (you kept him outdoors before and he did not even have a name), let us enlighten you. His name is Ozzy. He likes baby carrots, and will be your best friend if you scratch his butt. He probably looks different, because since the mange cleared up his fur is starting to grow back. Wow. He is brown, and not pink. Who would have thought? Unlike Ruby, he delights in being held like a baby and having his face and nose kissed. He sighs deeply and relaxes to the point of melting. Since he usually slept outside, you might not know that he was a champion snorer, like many other pugs. After being safe and inside for a few weeks, his hoarse cough (which we thought might be kennel cough or heart worms or congestive heart failure) turned out to be from being scared and lonely and barking all the time. Now that his voice has rested he can roo and purr and grimmel like a true pug. He has been fixed. You will have to cancel those "dates" you send him on. Sorry about that. Seeing as he may be prone to dry eye and luxating patella, it is probably for the best not to breed him anyway. You did notice his eyes, right? Because our daughter sure did. She learned special how to put drops in them, just for him. I am sure she could be talked into showing you how to do it. Once she gets over not being able to keep him after you said you no longer wanted him. Enjoy your new dog, and please eat a hornet. Dances and family.