Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Caught her red....mouthed?

There is a spot on the carpet that is on the stairs going to our uppermost level. Not a spot as in a stain, but rather more like a bald spot. Right on the edge of the second stair from the top. It has been there for a few years, and sometimes I think it is getting bigger but then convince myself that it is not.

How did it get there? I firmly believed that the area got burned or clipped by our old vacuum. You had to lift it and place it on the step, and if the bar was allowed to spin in the same spot for a long time, it had been known to flatten or pull out carpet fibers. I thought maybe DH placed it on the stairs to vacuum the baseboards from the hallway or something (there is no way I could lift that thing onto a step, so it wasn't ME). Dh claimed it must be the cats doing it. The CATS? Why would the cats chew a spot on the stairs, in such an inconvenient place? Why haven't they done it anywhere else? I felt he was falsely accusing them.

Last night I was on the phone. The windows were open, DH and DD were already asleep. I heard noises in the livingroom, a banging, almost like somebody stomping around. I panicked a little. After all, the window in that room is ground level and it was open, and it was dark outside. I told my sister (who was on the phone) "I am going to check this out, and you are coming with me" lol. I slowly snuck up the stairs, peeking around the wall to see if anybody was there. Nope. Then I realize the banging noise is coming from UPSTAIRS. Yikes! The intruder is already in the hallway where the bedrooms are!

I steeled my nerve, and peeked around the stair well. Just in time to see Jasmine, draped over the step, pulling and biting at "the spot". We are talking yanking hard enough to pull the carpet up, then letting it snap back down - thus the banging noises. I emitted a startled HEY! and she ran like hell. To think I defended that little monster! How dare she deface my step! Between that and the hairball stains (and an unfortunate stint of peeing blood which was not her fault and has been resolved), she has single handedly ruined most of the carpet in this house. Except the basement carpet, which has a colour and pattern not unlike a hairball and this hides stains well. I would be scared to know just how dirty that carpet is. It is vacuumed regularly, but we have never CLEANED it. Bleah.

Cats are the most subversive animals I have ever met. They do dastardly things in secret. Things that have no rhyme or reason, and they do it in such a sneaky way that you don't find it right off and thus have no proof of their guilt. Every magazine I read has punctures in the corners of the pages. Xena feels the need to bite every corner of every piece of paper she encounters. She also bites the corners of boxes, photos, photo albums, movie cases, and dvd cases. She especially loves the pointy parts of library books and homework assignments. She will climb book cases and into backpacks to get at these items. A few times she has been unable to contain herself and actually bit a corner of a book AS I WAS READING IT. Then she acted surprised to see me, like she was in some kind of strange paper trance or something.

I keep finding little stockpiles of stuff - under couch cushions, in corners behind tables, under appliances. I am pretty sure it is not DH doing it (he would place the items in a grocery bag and pile them on the coffee table or next to the tv). It can't be DD because she hides all of her little things in purses and ring boxes and tea cannisters and little tins. I just leave my crap all over, no hiding here. If it were Ruby, the items would be awfully wet from being sucked on, and arranged in a circle in the middle of the hallway. No, it must be the cats. They hide pony tail holders, twist ties, bits of yarn and string, polly pocket shoes and tiny barbie accessories. All things they are not allowed to have but feel compelled to steal.

So. Let's regroup. They ruin carpets by barfing on them and eating them. They steal. They bite things. They stink. Okay, they do NOT stink but DH made me put that in as his contribution. Sometimes I wonder why we even KEEP them. I mean, once they aren't cute kittens anymore, what is the draw? Then I remember. I remember times like last night, at about 3am when I was feeling icky and could not sleep. And Jasmine came and laid next to me and clutched my hand with her paw and purred. And when I was feeling depressed and cold and lonely and Xena came and looked right into my face, then sat in my lap calmly (for a fleeting two seconds before she couldn't take it any more and launched a vicious "squirrel" attack - which is more funny than scary but we won't tell her that because she believes she is being ferocious even though she looks like a squirrel when she does it). I guess they can stay a LITTLE while longer.

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