Thursday, March 22, 2007

She hated it.

When we go somewhere and take Ruby, she gets very excited to go in the car. If DH is driving she sits on my lap nice and pretty, eyes shining and a big pug smile. Sometimes she pants (she does this when she is very happy, excited, upset, or just feels like panting LOL) which drives DH batty because the car fills up with dog breath, but that is his personal hangup. When she is in the car and I am driving, she is not so well behaved. She climbs all over me. She falls into gaps and gets stuck places. She wiggles down by the pedals then can't get out. It is not a good thing. I tried a contraption that attaches to the harness then goes around a seatbelt. If I put her in the passenger seat, it still gives her enough leeway to climb into my lap and get behind my legs - which in case you forgot is not a good thing. If I put her in the back, she can't do that BUT there is no way to shorten it and it gives just enough slack so she can hurl herself off the seat to dangle over the edge by her harness. She won't strangle, but if you put pressure on a pug's chest they cannot breathe, so dangling is not a good thing. I could deny it no longer, I needed to get a pet carrier for her. I have a small one that fits one cat, but no way could Ruby go in there. Not even enough room for her to turn around. I didn't want anything with holes or a grid, for fear that she catches a toe and breaks it when she scratches at the walls. And she is going to scratch at the walls, my friend. I found a canvas carrier that folds flat and pops up when you want to use it. There are two side bars that lock in place when it is in the up position. I bought it based on the recommended weight and breeds listed on the box. I got it open and realized this thing is he-yuge. It does not fit in the back seat if DD is back there. I have to put the passenger seat back as far as it can go and teeter the carrier on it. It isn't unstable and the tilt is not major, but I would rather if it could sit flat, but there you go. I got a furry bed thingy to go in there too, for comfort. Getting her into the thing was kind of like trying to put a hot dog in a pop bottle during an earthquake. We finally got her in, but it was very hard to zip up the door as she was trying to get back OUT. After five minutes of combined effort, we got her in. I think if DD was not helping it might have taken...well two minutes ROFL. We were on our way. She whined. She cried. She screamed. She dug at every side and every corner. She managed to fling spit through the screen at me. She did not like it AT ALL. She panted like she was going to have a heart attack the entire ride. After getting to our desitination she was fine. She had a good time. But like all visits after about an hour she came and gave me "the look". It is the look that kids and dogs and husbands have perfected over time, the look that says "Is it time to stop visiting and go home now?". How long it takes to get "the look" usually depends on where we are visiting and how dressed up I made them get. I usually give DH that same look before we even make it to MIL's house, but that is a whole other matter entirely. When it was time to leave, you could tell she wanted to go but didn't want to sit in the carrier again. We got her in there. And she cried and scratched and panted the whole way home. For the rest of the evening she was glued to me. After all, she was separated from me (a whole five inches away, ghastly!) for that entire ride. She is always close to me, but I am talking have-a-body-part-on-me-at-all-times glued to me. I think I will take the carrier in the house, and train her to go in on command for a treat. Then start training for spending time in there without scratching or crying. No, we don't intend to use it inside. But if she needs to be in there I don't want to worry that she will scratch her way out. Canvas is only so strong. DD asked me if they come in other sizes. I said yes, thinking she wanted one for her stuffed animals LOL. Nope. She wants a larger one. For herself. She said it looked like fun. What a nutball.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

My eyes are wide open

You don't truly know how unkempt you are, until you see an extreme closeup of your upper lip. The fact that my head was tipped back and there is the lovely view up my nose (can you say nose clippers?) just adds to the total effect. HOLY CRAP. Why didn't anybody tell me that my lip was THAT hairy? I mean come ON. I know about my chin and my neck (that whole jowl area in fact). Why didn't somebody stage a waxing intervention for me before I embarassed myself by going out in public like this?!?!?! On the other hand, I have nice teeth, even close up. But that is about it, my friends. Now, you may be wondering WHY ON EARTH would I not only take an extreme close up of myself, but then critique it? There are good reasons. I have a sore spot on the roof of my mouth. I would be able to see it in the mirror if maybe I was a flounder, but since my eyes are located where they are, and I have to be at such an angle to get the spot to appear in the mirror, I got the bright idea to use the camera! There is a close-up setting and a flash, so why not? I'll tell you why not. Nobody should see any part of their face that close up, that's why. Pits and craters, pores the size of an orange, hairiness that you never even knew existed. But again, my teeth are still nice close up, so there is that. I have some tips if you ever want to take a picture of the inside of your mouth. Shut up, it might be a valuable skill at some point. You never know. First of all, hold your breath or you will fog up the lense and the picture will be blurry. Second of all, swallow really well right before posing. Ew. Third, toss all vanity out the window because you are sure to see at least one thing that will horrify you to your core. Fourth make sure everybody else is out of the house, the drapes are drawn, and the door is locked and deadbolted. Because if anybody catches you taking a picture of the inside of your own mouth, it will take a whole lot more explaining that you can handle while laughing hysterically. Trust me, I know. Oh, and if you face a mirror you can see the camera display so you know what the picture will look like before you take it. Saves a lot of deleting and retakes. I wanted to take a look at the sore spot to see what I could see, and monitor the progress. So now I have not only ONE up close hairy lip up the nose picture of the inside of my mouth, but a collection. Nigel Barker I am not. Eating has been difficult, since it hurts to swallow. Because it hurts I have been avoiding it, and my throat has gotten dry and now THAT is sore. My glands are also swollen, which could be from about anything at this point. I got a little worried, and went to the doctor. He said it could be a lot of things. A canker sore in an unusual spot. A strep infection. An allergic reaction. A side effect to my meds. A vitamin deficiency. Since I take vitamins, we ruled that out. He took a swab to rule out strep, but we won't get the results until at least Friday. And let me tell you, when he touched the roof of my mouth with that thing, I nearly hit the ceiling! My eyes were watering, it was horrible. When soft cotton feels like a red hot blade, you know something bad is going on! He doesn't think any of my meds are causing this, but with my history of skin allergies he thinks it is most likely an allergic reaction. He sprayed some chloriseptic on it (the stuff for sore throats that tastes like the dentist office smells) and I got to enjoy pain free bliss. For a whole five minutes. Then the pain came back. He checked my ears and found them red and irritated but not infected, which bolsters the idea it is an allergic reaction. Since I am going for blood tests in a week anyway, he gave me a sheet to add to my normal lineup of poking and prodding. Hopefully we will figure this out, and in the meantime I am gargling salt water and spritzing the roof of my mouth with stuff every two hours. That is when I am not looking at extreme close ups of my hairy lip and up my nose. Want to see something sad and funny? Me and DD looking at the pictures and laughing our arses off (my laughter a little more like a nervous breakdown, hers pure mirth). Then DD said the words that like to kilt me. "Do me now". No I will NOT post the picture of the inside of my mouth. Writing about painted toes earned me a link on a fetish site, I don't even want to think what posting an open mouth would cause. Ick, ew ew ew.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Universe 1 : Dances 0

I have errands to run today. I need to get cat food at the vet's office and make Ruby's appointment for shots and checkup while I am there. My car needs an oil change. I have something to bring back to costco and need to make some changes to my membership as well. I am supposed to be bringing some equipment into our local office, and I have an expense report to hand in. I left things off our regular grocery list because they are on sale elsewhere, on the way of my errands so I figured I would just get those things today.
See that? Every time I make plans to leave the house, WHAMMO. Freezing rain covered with sleet covered with snow. And now blowing snow. It is supposed to turn to rain by 11:00 am and the snow is to disappear, but it is 10:30 now and it doesn't look promising, does it?

We went to visit "the aunts" on Sunday. My grandmother had three sisters come down from Winnepeg and visit for a week. They are all in their late seventies and older, but to see them together they are like young girls. Giggling and laughing and teasing. The YOUNGEST of the bunch got a little rowdy, drinking beer and gossiping and causing a ruckus. She is only 76, and you know how those young ones are ROFLMAO. It was a little bittersweet. A usual member of the group, one of the "middle" sisters, passed away not long ago. And when she was around, there was no dispute that she brought out the best in her sisters. She was always so cheerful, constantly laughing and smiling. Nothing was ever bad, the glass was not only full but rather overflowing. She developed a brain tumour secondary to lung cancer, of which she was a surviver and everybody thought she had beat. There was a choice I did not agree with (but really, what business was it of mine?) that she not receive treatment. She did not make that choice herself but legally her hands were tied, and there is badness between many of us and the person that made this decision for her, but that is neither here nor there. It did not cloud the visit, which is good because it may be a long time (or even never) before these sisters get together again. No time to waste on unpleasantness!

DD and DH kind of sat transfixed, in awe of a room full of women that looked the same and talked the same and laughed the same. Each of us, grandaughters or cousins or great nieces had our own similarities to the crowd. I do have those high cheekbones, even if they are buried. And that laugh? If DH was blindfolded he would never have picked mine out of the lineup LOL. We all have the same hands, and quite a few of us have the same nose (not me though LOL). I also do not have the eyes. Mine are straight from my Dad's side of the family, although still not blue and let me tell you I feel I have been CHEATED. Ahem.

DD was not shy at ALL. She sat on laps and got hugged and squeezed and kissed, had her stick straight hair played with and plaited into her cousins curly thick hair so they could compare it LOL. Dh said except for the dark hair and the darker eyes (she also got her eyes from HER daddy LOL) she fit right in. The cheekbones. The NOSE! She certainly has my grandmother's nose, and my grandmother has the same nose as her sisters. There was no way DD could get lost in that crowd, or accused of being an interloper.

That is something else about "the aunts". They are always thrilled to see the children. They beam like your kids are the most beautiful things they have ever seen, and gush all over them, lots of hugging and kissing and squeezing, and of course, the money. From as far back as I can remember, "the aunts" have always given kids money. I remember the folded two dollar bills from some of them, and one aunt ALWAYS gave us five dollars LOL. And even still, this aunt gave DD double the amount the others did. Some things never change. DD thanked them politely and gave me the money to hold. More than one remarked that DD was so polite! I said, yeah, well, wait a minute. She'll do something to change your mind ROFL. But really, she was a little doll the whole time we were there. In fact, she cried when it was time to leave, which made "the aunts" cry. It didn't take much to make my grandmother cry, she always does when it is time for people to leave. But DD got them ALL going. That was quite a sight.

DH was very quiet after the visit, and after we got DD settled I asked what was wrong. He said he couldn't get over how nice my aunts were (great aunts, actually). He got his own share of hugs and kisses and squeezes LOL. They asked him what he did, and were genuinely interested in what he said. They asked after his mother, and gave condolences for his dad. There was so much laughing and talking and eating and sharing (they bullied him into splitting a beer with them. You see, it is unlady-like to drink an entire beer. So you split them with somebody else. Never mind you share 10 beers, it's the fact they were split that counts LOL). He has little experience with a matriarchal family. I think it was good for him. And maybe a little traumatizing ;).

So today they left, flew off into the sun-rise. I hope they missed the snow and aren't sitting on the tarmack somewhere. And I wish them all well.