Friday, June 27, 2008

How do they do it?

I cannot, for the life of me, roll out something to be round. Square, rectangle, amorphous blob. Got those shapes down pat. But round? Forget it. So I can make flour tortillas that taste so good as to make a man weep for his dead mamasita, but they look like amoebas. I have resisted the temptation to roll them out then use a template (like a dish) and cut them out to get perfect rounds. I mean, they don't have to be perfect as long as I can still use them as a wrap. The ones that can't be used that way are eaten by tearing into bits and dipping into some tasty substance (like hummous....mmmmm!). But a roundish shape in general would be nice. For some reason the karma gods like to play with me, and only give me half of a talent. For example, I can make gravy so good you want to drink it, but my mashed potatoes suck rocks. My tortillas are light and taste like heaven, but they look like hell. My pies are picture perfect but the crust? You have better chances munching on that magazine page. Why must it be this way? Good karma, why hast thou forsaken mich? Am I not a good girl? Do I not open doors and be polite, keep my opinion of ugly babies to myself, stifle the urge to laugh out loud at the person who walks around with toilet paper on their shoe? I haven't killed anybody yet. I do not steal. I do not covet. *cough*. Okay, so sometimes I covet. But the really biggies? The stealing and murder and adultery? Yeah, I don't do those. Wait a minute. Those might be rules from a different god. Maybe that is my problem. I need to learn to get my deities straight. So summer vacation is upon us. DD has been out of school a total of two days, and already she has spent time on the floor whining that she is bored and has nothing to do and nobody to play with and blah blah blah. This does not bode well for the days to come. But since I will be working outside the home for a change and DH will be the one home to listen to that lovely diatribe on an hourly basis (instead of little old me) the thought is almost amusing. I wonder how long it will take Mr. "Day camp is a waste of money if somebody is home" to decide that shipping her off for a few hours ain't such a bad deal after all. Plus, if she isn't home she cannot add to the mess. He didn't think I sent her off so she could have FUN, did he? Today is my last day of some contract work and I have a problem I have been working on for way more time than it should be taking. Sometimes a break is the best thing for this. Step back, do something else for a bit, and wait for that a-ha moment. So I came to blog, and I am still waiting for my brain to come up with some kind of answer. I hope I am not over-estimating my brain's ability to solve problems on it's own, because lawd knows the rest of me is not being of help at this point. My feet are cold and want socks, my ears are ringing and begging me to stick an ice pick in there to unplug them for once and for all, and my stomach is screaming for lunch. I hope my brain works well under threat of mutiny. I wouldn't know for sure, because most of the time we are barely on speaking terms. The fact that I don't stop breathing once I fall asleep is about all I can be thankful for sometimes. Off to grab a handful of Triscuit Thin crisps, a few grapes, and some cottage cheese. Then back to work!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Are you just teasing us by talking up your tortillas but not providing the recipe?