Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ruby is thrilled. I need my head examined.

Apparently my ability to resist two pairs of begging eyes proves to be completely non-existant. I encounted said eyes while picking up DD from school. I went in to help because they had a special day today and she had a million things to bring home. It was my undoing for sure. It seems DD and one of her classmates hatched a scheme to have a sleepover tonight. They both knew between the parents on both sides I was the easier mark. Why our house? Too many brothers at the other house. No brothers at THIS house. Ruby was thrilled to see a child at the door, and darn near ecstatic to see an overnight bag and pillow. SLEEPOVER! Now, Ruby won't actually sleep with the girls. She won't even really play with them. Nope, she will make occasional forays into the room they are in (which are clearly marked with exclamations and squeals as she licks faces, snots on children, and careens through dollhouses knocking over furniture and stealing tiny shoes). From time to time she will go check on them, then lie in the hallway to listen for a bit. She still tends to stick with me, but you can really tell she is happy to have somebody in the house. Silly little thing! Now, don't get me wrong. The best part of my parents was we were allowed to have friends over whenever we wanted to and often had people sleep over. I am just tweaking that with some supervision and less wolf-like behaviour at the same time ;). And I know my daughter is no angel. But does every child she likes have to turn out to be so much WORK? She has one that touches every single thing, looks in drawers and cabinets, and practically sits in my lap the whole time she is here. Then there is miss accident prone that practically needs wrapping in bubble wrap. I am a nervous wreck until she goes home, and feel it is a good visit if I only went through ONE box of bandaids and two ice packs. Then we have pants-wetter. Apparently she doesn't have this problem ALL the time, just here. I don't know what that means, but she also gets a bloody nose when she comes here and is scared to death of the dog. Another one steals and had to be banned. This one? We call her the gladiator. She has three older brothers. To say she is rough and tumble is an understatement. She body slams, grabs, headlocks, pokes, kicks, and in general harasses DD. But not in a mean way, which is odd to say but strangely true. Remember the Friends episode with Soleil Moon Frye, where she does this punching thing to be funny and it really hurts but she doesn't believe it? Yeah, like that. Dd can usually hold her own, but this kid can be intense. She has only been here for 30 minutes and already I need to lie down. I did something I absolutely hate to do, but I was desparate to get her to stop HITTING and stuff. They are in a Hannah Montanna coma right this minute, but every commercial she wakes up and starts trying to rough house again. I don't know if I can keep her from bruising DD all to hell for another four or so hours! I tried puzzles first, thinking they could both be doing their own puzzle next to each other and play nicely and quietly with no contact. Did you know puzzle pieces can be thrown like ninja stars?

Monday, January 28, 2008

I have created a monster

We don't typically feed Ruby "people food". She gets her diet kibble now, some two calorie treats when she goes outside, and the occasional baby carrot. When I have smart food popcorn (about twice a year because I cannot control myself with that stuff) she gets ONE piece. And if I eat an apple I will bite off one small piece for her. She makes me laugh how she carefully chews it "shew-shew-shew" LOL. I have experimented with other fruits as well (she likes pears as long as they aren't too soft, barks at blueberries before eating them, quivers for pomegranite seeds, and echews bananas with a profound BLECH). But in general, she does not get table food. You would think that means she doesn't beg. Oh no! You see, pugs are born with a begging gene. They have the perfect face for begging, with those bug eyes and sad little chin and squishiness. They can look like a bowling ball with legs and still convince you they are starving to death. It is an art, really and quite breathtaking to behold. So she begs really really well, but for the large part we are immune. Guests have to be counselled regarding ignoring her pitiful charms though. Sometimes I am amused at what she is begging for (I mean come on, she sees something in my hand and she wants it. Last night she danced in circles for the TV REMOTE for goodness sake). If it is a food item and I think she won't like it, I offer it to her. This is an experiment really. For example there was the time she begged for a pickle. So I offered it to her. She carefully sniffed it. Then she gave it a little lick. She thought a moment then gingerly took it from my hand. She bit into it slowly, then spit it on the floor while she grimaced at the juices that came out of it. She licked it again, and picked it up then tossed it down again. Then she danced around and barked at it. Then she sat on it. So that is how she feels about pickles. If I offer her one now, she turns her head so she doesn't even have to look at it, but she will beg for it again as soon as I take it back. This amuses me because I am simple minded, so I offer it to her over and over again to watch her spurn it ROFL. I was eating a clementine orange. Now the cats, at the first hint of breaking of orange peel will run and hide. They cannot stand the smell one bit. If I eat citrus before going to bed, they will actually leave the bedroom so as not to sleep all night with the scent. Ruby never seemed interested until lately. She was not only begging, but she was BULLYING me for a taste. I knew she wasn't going to like it, because in general she doesn't like acidic tastes and I was pretty sure she wouldn't like the texture. But she was driving me crazy. So I peeled the membrane off a section and offered it to her. Now, I have offered her orange sections before and she would never take them. She would sniff them intently then look insulted and skulk away. This time was different. She sniffed it intently, using her little paw to hold my hand steady. She licked it a little, then took it from me and chewed carefully. She immediately sat up straight, and her eyeballs almost fell out. She barked at me, and patted me with her paw. She wanted MORE. I was afraid it would make her sick so I didn't give her any more. But after that, peeling a clementine or tangerine was like taking my life in my hands. Then I decided fine. I will give her a piece WITH the membrane. Maybe that will convince her to stop bugging me. Nope. She liked it and wanted more. A pug that eats clementines. Who'd a thunk it.