Thursday, June 05, 2008

Marital stress test

There are a few things in a marriage that are tried and true to demonstrate the strength of your marital bond. Not your depth of love, that is. You can love a person dearly and still want to kick them in the head occasionally. But rather your ability to listen, delegate, negotiate, and comprimise. These are all skills useful when you are married, and from time to time there are activities that test all of these skills at once. I thought I knew all of these tests. I thought I had learned enough in these past, very rough years to know when to sidestep this kind of trouble. It seems that I have discovered a before unknown marital test. Something harder than renovating. Something harder than painting a ceiling or putting together a flat-pack furniture item together. Something even worse than trying to deal with a three year old having a tantrum on an airplane. Folks, I introduce you to putting a brand new, folded and sticky, solar cover on an above ground pool with walls over 52". One idea was to unroll the entire thing on the lawn, then grab an edge and pull it up and onto the pool. Except this thing is round, and no matter where I grabbed it, it was too heavy, and it kept sticking to the edge of the pool like cling wrap. If DH wasn't trying to hoist me bodily across the pool WITH the cover, he was letting go completely causing me to fall in the mud. We tried a few other things. There was a lot of sweating and swearing, and I kid you not it was less effort to give birth. Finally we heaved the thing into the pool, still in a ball with the hopes we could unravel it while it was floating. I didn't figure on the fact that the pool walls are so tall, while standing on the ground, I can't reach the water surface over the edge. Apparently I am cursed with short arms, and big boobs. I ended up grabbing the skimmer pole and poking at the mass floating in the middle while DH's tactic was to stand and stare as it bobbed around. Then I got an idea. I told DH to grab the edge closest to him, and hold onto it, and stand still. STAND STILL and HOLD ON being the operative words. I managed to snag an edge on the other side of the floating blob and gradually with great effort, prodded it to my side of the pool. My shoulders almost popped with the strain, but finally I had an edge within my reach (as long as I was hanging over the side of the pool with my feet danging in the air, that is) and pull it across flat. I got down, walked 1/4 turn around the pool and was about to start again when I realized that something was amiss. It seemed that as I prodded and pulled towards myself, dh did not hold on. DH did not stand still. Nothing was unravelled. In fact the only thing I had managed to acomplish was to poke the floating ball of cover (imagine a ball of plastic wrap, crumpled up and stuck to itself then floating in a tub of water) over to my side of the pool the difficult way. If there was ever a moment that DH was going to be composted, this was it. Weighing the options between pummeling him to death with the end of the skimmer or hoisting an edging brick at him are forethought, and it would have been murder 1 for sure. This alone is what gave me pause. I took a moment to go into the cool house (air conditioning. Shut up. It's June.) and get my faculties together. We did manage to get the cover on the pool eventually. And he is not burried anywhere in the yard. In fact, he is sitting in the other room watching TV unscathed. I guess I passed the test ;).

Monday, June 02, 2008

Cross your fingers please.

Ruby had her shots today. Remember how she reacted to them last time? I am scared to death and my stomach is in knots. We decided to wait on the bordatella (kennel cough - they absorb it through their nose rather than as a shot). By separating that and the rabies, if she reacts again we have a better chance of isolating the cause. So far so good. Nothing puffy, no funny breathing. Well, I mean, she IS a pug. No funnier than normal ;). They are supposed to be building the pool today, but the guy keeps calling and pushing it later and later. Grrrr. I just want it DONE at this point in time. Still too cold in general to swim, but I will feel better once the thing is up. Yesterday something happened to me, and I can only laugh and think "Only in MY world can this happen" LOL. DD was cleaning the hamster cage. That means I was baby-sitting Sparkle while it was being done. I had her on the coffee table. It is glass, with some decorative cross pieces underneath. Well, she is afraid to walk across the open part in the middle, so she follows the cross pieces like she is walking on beams. It amuses me. I was at the edge of the table and she was walking along her "balance beam", poking around at things she met along the way. You know, nibble at a pencil, stop to steal a strip of paper from a notepad, that sort of thing. Then suddenly she darted across the middle. I knew what she was up to - a running jump off the edge! I went to get up and whacked my kneecap on the corner of the table. Excruciating, debilitating pain! I am talking almost peeing-in-my-pants pain. I was screaming and writhing. I yelled to DH for help. He had NO idea what was going on. All I could gasp as "Hamster! Table! She'll jump!". He was panicked...."what? What? Where is the hamster? What happened?" and he was looking at the floor near me. I was like, No, No, on the TABLE! He started for the kitchen. Still rolling on the floor, holding my knee and screaming, I managed to include "No, COFFEE TABLE!". He finally found her and caught her. Then he tries to hand her to me. Now. If you saw a person rolling around the floor, crying, screaming, and holding their knee - would you think they are prepared to hold a household pet? Sheesh. Finally I was able to stop screaming and rolling, and he immediately plopped Sparkle onto my chest. Gee. Thanks. Almost instantly my knee started swelling up, and soon it looked like I had a baseball sitting on my leg. I spent the rest of the evening with an icepack balanced there as I shivered in a sweater and heavy socks. It looks MUCH better today. Still a bit puffy and there will be a bruise, but I can walk without limping. You will be happy to know that Sparkle is alive and well and unharmed by my pain. I think I have mentioned in the past that there is a robin that comes to our yard. In fact I believe that the robin believes this is HIS yard. Anyhow, it seems to delight in sitting on the fence near wherever Ruby is and harassing her. He doesn't fly around her or dive-bomb her. But he does make threatening sounds and sort of cackles at her. Ruby mostly ignores him, but when he makes that cackle sound she FREAKS. She barks at him and runs around in circles. Sometimes she does the butt-tuck-and-run that pugs are famous for. Last night, while incapacitated with an icepack on my knee, I was browsing Ontario birds on the internet. One of the sites had a wav file with robin calls, and I clicked on it. Yep, that is a robin alright! When it came to the cackly part of the call, Ruby came RUNNING into the room barking. It was hilarious. She must have thought the robin had invaded the computer room. Tee hee! Well, I am off to lay on the floor and stare at the dog for signs of swelling. Cross your fingers that it doesn't happen this time!