Thursday, September 18, 2008

Jiminy has to go

Crickets.  My life is wrought with crickets.  Not long ago, when I was at my height of anxiety-dome, I was so petrified of crickets I could hardly leave the house at night.  Walk across the patio?  No sirree bob, those suckers were just waiting for me to go out there so they could scrabble from their hidey holes and freak me out.  I used to be a "child of the night" to get away from bees and flying insects.  But when the crickets started climbing up the bricks and flinging themselves at me, I was done like a dinner.
And these crickets were BIG.  And for some reason, the ones that had turned a sort of dullish brown were even grosser than the big, fat, glossy black ones.
Thanks to some good therapy (and even better meds), my cricket problem was solved and I am no longer afraid to "take back the night".  I have also taken back the day, because I am no longer afraid of bees and such.  I still don't LIKE them, but I don't cower in the house waiting for a good time to run to my car and get inside before anything "bad" happens.
This, however, does not mean that my life is cricket-freaky free.  Nosiree.  I am not SCARED of crickets any longer, but with their long spindly legs and creepy crawly habits I still find them pretty gross.  I can appreciate the beauty of a long black wasp.  I can even wax poetic about a fuzzy bumblebee.  Them crickets?  Uh-glee.  Up until now, this disdain did not apply to their noises.  After all, what would camping or a night in the country be without the soothing 'chirp chirp chirp' in the background.  Think of how many kids spent lazy summer days counting chirps to try and guess the temperature. There is something even almost nostalgic about cricket chirps and cicada song, although I don't know why.  (Don't get me started on cicadas.  Have you ever SEEN one????  ACK!).
There is a cricket in the office.  He is behind some filing cabinets across from my desk.  He has been chirping since Monday.  I cannot catch him.  I cannot convince him to move on.  I can make him stop for about 30 seconds at a time if I tap on the cabinet, but that is about it.  At first, it was charming.  Kind of like camping at the office.  People would walk by and say "Oh, how nice.  You have a cricket!  It must be soothnig".  Yeah.  Soothing.
Well, today is THURSDAY.  And that chirping is driving me completely insane.  It gets louder as the day goes on, too.  A quick google search proved that there is not much I can do.  I can try to catch it and relocate it but those cabinets are full of heavy paperwork that would take days to empty.  And being the wuss that I am I keep rejecting offers to drop a "bug bomb" back there.  I want it to shut up, but I don't want it to sleep with the fishies or anything.  At least not without a fighting chance to relocate on it's own.
I have half  a mind to bring in Sparkle and let her go back there.  Hamsters eat crickets, right?  Nah.  With my luck she will get stuck in a glue trap or be lost forever back there.
Crickets like dark, right?  What if I buy a cheap click light or something, turn it on, and drop it back there?  Maybe the cricket would find a better, darker place to go.  Maybe I need a CASE of click lights so it doesn't decide to relocate under my desk or something.
Sigh.  Any ideas?  Got a cricket-eating reptile I can borrow?  A spare pare of ear plugs?  Something.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Night sweats

The last couple of nights, by bedtime I have been freezing. My feet specifically. I know it is because the weather is changing, but that makes it no less annoying to me. It keeps me awake. Socks don't help, either. Last night I warmed up the rice pad and placed it at the foot of the bed. It mostly worked, except the cats piled on top of it too so my feet would fall asleep forcing me to move my cold tootsies away from the hot zone. They'd get cold again so I would squish them into the steaming warmth of cats and heating pad, then they would fall asleep again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Not impressed at having to share with those critters. Heat whores, those cats. Also, I have been waking up completely soaked in sweat. A cold sweat. Not exactly a not-feeling-well sweat. Not a bad-dream sweat. But my hair is soaked and my chest is dripping. I have been getting this off and on for over a year now (right before PMS - bwa ha ha haaa) but never this many nights in a row. Could it be pre-menopause? After all, I am not far from forty at this point. (Did I actually just type that? Strike it from your mind. Really, I am eighteen. I swear it!). Maybe it is just the increase in soy products. I might have to look into some evening primrose oil or something. Want to hear the randomest, oddest, most insane thing I heard today? "That there is a good looking homeless man". I didn't even have any reply. What does a person say to that? I could only just stand and stare for a moment, processing. Who says things like that?!?! I work with some odd ducks. And speaking of.... Do you know what the book man is? Some people have a book lady. I suppose it should be "book person" to be P.C. about it. Anyway, it is a person that sells books and other small items. They drop off samples of their wares and order sheets. After so many days they collect the samples and fill any orders they get. It seems like every day more and more products are piled onto the lunch table, so much so that it's getting too crowded to eat there. As I sat, scrunched into a corner, eating my veggie balogna sandwich, a coworker was rummaging through the stacks of "stuff" and books. All of a sudden she grabs my lunch bag and starts rooting through it, looking a little confused. "What is this?" she exclaimed as she extracted a package. "Those are cookies that have heart healthy ingredients in them". Oh, she said, as she stuffed it roughly back into the bag. I was a little shocked, but not really offended. I am not sure I liked having my lunch manhandled in such a way, but at the moment I was intent on remaining polite. Then she pulled out another packet, and read it slowly. "V-e-g-a meal replacement. 100% daily nutrients with plant based sterols and proprietary protein mix........What kind of crap is this?" she sounded a little exhasperated as she shoved that back into the bag as well. I didn't know how to react. I mean, maybe she is just a little direct. Some people have no concept of personal space, maybe she was one of those. I stammered something about veggie lifestyles and making sure you get your nutrients, and she just glared at me. At last she tugged out my baggie of apple slices. She stared at them. She turned the bag this way, then that way. I couldn't wait to hear her assessment of my brown-tinged and sad looking slices. All of a sudden, her eyes got real wide, and she gasped. "IS THIS YOUR LUNCH BAG?!?!?" I have never seen somebody look so mortified in my life. She thought it was part of the book man samples! We were both laughing our heads off like loons. She kept gasping out, "Why didn't you SAY anything?" as we nearly rolled on the floor cackling like mad. I told her I was too shocked to say anything. I have to admit, when I worked from home nobody ever manhandled my lunch. Although Ruby would beg for things, and snotted on my sandwich once. Hit it with a huge loogie, right from the floor (pug-nose height). To her consternation I didn't let her eat the tainted item - I threw it away. She thought it was a waste of a good sandwich - and some diabolically good aim.

Important Correction!

I am posting this via remote because I have a most important correction to

I took 1805 steps yesterday. Somehow I managed to misread the darn thing.
I know, I know. Small change. But I gotta take what I can get!

See ya!

Monday, September 15, 2008

More fiber than I bargained for

I just ate, like, my hundredth produce sticker today. I can remember to wash my fruit and veg, but hunting down and removing those little diabolical stickers? Not so much. Apple slices smeared with just a bit of peanut butter, sprinkled with cinnamon and topped with a few sliced almonds. I thought I found a softish-chewy almond, then I realized what it was. Blech! The almonds didn't add much to the experience either. I'll stick with wheat germ. What do you mean you have never had apple slices with peanut butter and wheat germ? Not health food tasting at all, I promise! The cinnamon is a relatively new addition introduced by DD and adopted by me. Pretty good, I must say. After a bit of a delay (my back and subsequent crookedness, my personal trainer going for more - er - training) we started my actual very first full strength training today. We focused on arms and shoulders. I now know for sure there is a reason to have a personal trainer - I would have bonked myself in the head with the barbells after each rep. I can pump them up into the air like nobody's business*. It is the downward, uncontrolled motion that is dangerous (did I mention I have like NO arm strength?). If it wasn't for her guiding hands I would have cracked my melon more than once with one side or the other. It is worth the money I pay to avoid the brain damage. Of course, we will see how appreciative I am tomorrow when I am too sore to zip my own pants or lift the coffee cup to my lips. *I am lying. I shake like a wuss.* Just for good measure, she threw in some of my FAVOURITE double crunches. Crikey, those things kill me. Then some leg stretches because my hamstrings were sore today (at the top, rather than behind the calf like normal). I think I may have overstretched a bit in yoga Sunday morning. Or it could be the rainy, damp weather. I could make a good living as a weather station. A little while back we had a wellness day at work. We received pedometers with the company logo. Today was the kickoff for a "walking tour" of Canada of sorts. Anybody who wants to join in will wear their pedometers and log how far they walk in a week (these babies have a handy converter so you can see your step count in miles/kms). The distance will be logged on a map, following a certain route. We want to see how far we get! At the end we will all do something (lunch or some such) to celebrate the trip. Plus we will all get a t-shirt. Yes, I get excited about shirts for things when I have actually DONE something towards them. I am a nerd of the highest proportions. But if you didn't know that, you must be new. Anyhoo, I walked 1506 steps today. That is pitifully low. Although I have nothing to compare it to really. Tomorrow it should be MUCH higher after an hour of cardio. If not, I can just sit and shake the thing until I see a number I like better. Bwa-ha-ha-haaa!