Friday, December 05, 2008

Be afraid. Be. Very. Afraid.

Yesterday when I arrived at the aftercare program to pick up my daughter, I was met by the "teacher".  She asked me to sort of sneak a peek around the corner and watch for a bit, before going in.  She was laughing, so I wasn't worried that it was terrible, but still I was a bit worried.
What did I see?  My daughter standing in front of a group of boys (ages from about 6 down to maybe 3 years) and giving them directions.  She was holding a ball, and they held onto her every word.  And when she said "GO!" they scattered like roaches when the kitchen light comes on.  When she told them to "STOP!" they froze in their tracks instantly.  If she walked towards one area of the room, they followed her.  If she moved again, they followed.  She was the pied piper, and they were the rats.
"It's like that every day".  I am just hoping that she chooses to use this power over her merry band of marauders for good, rather than evil.  But given who her parents are, it ain't bloody likely.  My leadership skills, talent for manipulation, and bossiness combined with DH's "instigator" genes and deviousness - we are lucky she hasn't already made a coup to take over the world.
I guess it didn't take her long to realize that it's much harder to boss girls your own age around because they have this horrible habit of protesting and resisting, silly things.  It is impossible to boss boys your own age around because "girls are yucky" so they won't come near enough to you to be bossed to begin with.  Cooties, you know.  But younger boys?  Younger boys follow like sheep and do your bidding.  They are a group ripe for the picking, just waiting for a ring-leader to come around.
If you ask me, those after-care instructors are crazy to be in that line of work.  You can't fool me.  One false move with those little savages, and they go all "Lord of the Flies" on your ass.  Trust me.  I am a Brownie leader, so I know what children are capable of.  We are always "this far" away from being cooked and eaten every meeting.