Monday, November 30, 2009

Eating us out of house and home

The lovely child that lives in this house must be about the have the biggest friggen growth spurt ever. Either that or she is about to split via mitosis, like a cell. Perhaps budding is a possibility, although I am pretty sure I have no bacteria nor coral on my side of the family. She has been eating non-stop. To the point of waking up in the middle of the night and asking if she can have a bowl of cereal! Mama is not happy when she is woken in the middle of the night and asked if cereal eating is allowed. No sirree bob. It ranks right up there with being roused rudely awake and informed said child is going to the bathroom (okay, why do I need to be informed of this exactly?). Sometimes she or her father will wake me to point out something one of the animal residents has created in another room. Once DD woke me by slapping me hard on the arm and exclaiming "There is a chicken wing on the floor!". Not the best way to learn the cats had raided the garbage bag in the middle of the night. Wouldn't it have been better - just suppose - to be gently roused by the sounds of family cleaning up the mess? In my dreams....in my dreams. Sigh. Back to the locust that is currently pacing in the kitchen waiting for more food to materialize out of thin air. This is not the first time this has happened. It is a pattern we recognize right from the time she was a tiny babe in my arms. One minute she wants to eat her weight, then next minute none of her sleepers fit. She has grown right out of the middle of her clothes before too. The length of the pants? Fine. The length of the sleeves? Fine. But the shirt and pants no longer touched in the middle. Other times she has gone from having to roll up her sleeves to see her fingertips, to ripping the shoulder seams trying to pull the cuff down to meet her wrist. Monday her pants are fine, Tuesday the same pants seem to predicting a horrible flood. Another thing we notice is that she will get really clumsy just before or during this growth rush. During the last few days she has managed to bump just about every part of her body on something, even when standing still. And walk? Forget it. I would wrap her in bubble wrap but she would outgrow it before I could finish. I want to go upstairs and make myself a tea, but I am a bit scared she might think I have food and mug me. Maybe if I turn all the lights on as I go and you hold my hand.........

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Haunting!

I ran out of time when making these costimes, so had to use yarn to tie them on instead of sewing on proper bands and things. But for a couple of bucks worth of felt they turned out pretty darn cute!


Ruby was THRILLED to wear her costume. Every time I tried it on to fit it, she would wag her curly little tail and jump up to give me kisses and snottings. Somehow I managed to put her "zombie wounds" too far back. The way I split it so that her tail wasn't bothered made it fit funny (which happens when you are shaped like a potato bug). People kept wanting to call her a LADYBUG. Sheesh.


Max sat so nicely for all his fittings (he is such a good boy) but had no idea what was going on in general. It's his first halloween with us, and I don't know if they had trick or treaters where he was before. I passed out candy from in the yard with the dogs, because Max would cry and whine if I sat on the porch (and Ruby wanted to sit on my lap anyway). Since he barked his fool head off and charged the fence like a dog with rabies, he played the killer zombie dog part to perfection. I am working on him to become better at meeting people.


There were a few new things to add to the display this year (works in progress as far as how to display them). Made from styrofoam heads which I painted, then applied paper masks using instructions and printouts from here.


There is the rotating demon head:


And the two grave escapers. The heads are taped onto bowls, with "umble ball" dog toys under them. The whole thing sits in a cardboard water bottle case as a base. As the bumble balls hit the sides of the bowl, they move around and jerk back and forth. Kind of kitchy and twitchy and looked cool covered in leaves (which promptly blew away - very windy tonight). Next year these will be refined by replacing the garbage bags with shirts and so on. Not bad for a first trial though, for under ten bucks each including the garbage bags.


And just to end the evening, gratuitous shrunken baby head photo.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Frankie the Crooner has left the mortal coil.

Good-bye dearest Frankie. You were a good bird. You didn’t sing much at the end, but you still enjoyed your apples and greens, and gave me a good harassing when I was slow filling your dish in the morning. You bit the hell out of me every time I touched you, but I loved you all the same. You will be missed.

Monday, August 17, 2009

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye

For reasons known only to pugs, Max decided to have a wild hair today, and foraged in DD's room while we were out. From the bed covered in about two tonnes of stuffed animals, he chose DD's favourite (favourite at the moment, anyway). From the looks of the poor porcupine webkin, it's head was sucked on and the right eye was definitely chewed off and presumably eaten. Poor, poor Marshmallow. What did she ever do to deserve such rough treatment? Thank goodness the carnage ended there. I managed to dry DD's tears with a promise of finding a button or something to repair poor Marshmallow with, and explaining that Max really doesn't understand the difference between HER toys and HIS toys, and he didn't mean to hurt her feelings. The whole time he looked awfully guilty and sulked around her, trying to lick her tears and lay on her lap. Eventually she forgave him. Fast forward to bedtime, and DD is very tired. Daycamp takes it right out of her, plus she played outside a long time and had a swim. She looked Marshmallow over, trying to judge if the poor thing is too contaminated with doggie spit to still cuddle with while sleeping. She gasped, then started crying. The kind of gut wrenching sobs that make you want to sell your soul, if only you could make them stop....make whatever is making her feel this way go away forever. It seems Marshmallow the porcupine is missing the same eye that Sparkle had trouble with. Open the floodgates for memories and sad feelings over Sparkle the wonderful hamster that we had to put to sleep. What are the odds???? Is the universe trying to tell us something? Is the spirit of Sparkle the wonder hamster reaching out to communicate with us from 'beyond'? Nah. Max just didn't have enough time to eat the other eye. Note to self: make an effort to close DD's door when we leave the house.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Indian food - 1, DancesInGarden - 0

I probably did not mention it here, but I had cleaned the microwave. And yes, it WAS a big deal because the microwave was disgusting and cleaning it was a trip and a half. It was such a feat that even DH mentioned I should blog that I finished it ROFL. Well. We have been doing really well and not 'sploding food in there. WERE doing well. And I was the one that broke the clean streak, which makes it hurt all the worse. I can't even yell at anybody else for doing it. See, I had this package of indian food (a chickpea tomatoey stew with potatoes and onions). Shelf stable, just toss in the microwave and serve over rice. Easy peasy, basmati rice takes only about 10 minutes and I had dinner right quick. Put the bowl containing the stew in the microwave, set it for a conservative amount of time (my microwave is gianormous and way strong, so I always have to lower times on packages) and took a quick skip to the loo. By the time I got back, the rice was done resting and the microwave had beeped. I opened the door, took a moment, then gasped loud enough to make DH and DD come running. Of course, once I was able to exhale I let out a bray of laughter that scared both dogs. Ruby did the cartoon run on the linoleum floor before taking off grunting into the living room, and Max was so spooked he ran full speed into the glass patio door trying to get outside. This did not help me at ALL. I laughed so hard that I hyperventilated. DH and DD thought I was a looney before, but now they know for SURE. What makes it even worse than it being MY mess? The food wasn't all that great. It had too much chili in it so it was very bitter. I have a disgusting, stinky mess to clean, and it wasn't even a good meal. I think I should stick with cereal and soy milk for dinner.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Summer for Dinner

Tonight for dinner I had fresh corn on the cob, a cucumber from the garden (sliced and salted and peppered perfectly), some leftover marinated beans from lunch made with beans and radishes from the garden, and four organic plums from the farmer's market. DH and DD said it didn't look like much so I added five kalamata olives and a piece of garlic bread ROFL. The only missing thing that would have made it perfect was a ripe, garden tomato. Sigh. Oh, I HAVE tomatoes in the garden. Several. However, ripening seems to be the last thing on their mind. They sprawl, the unripe fruits weigh down the branches and I stake them yet again, but no ripening yet. I did manage to eat one red and one yellow cherry tomato. Truth be told, they weren't quite ready yet but I was desparate! Every night I go out to check for beans and feel up the corn cobs, and do the "ripen ripen ripen" chant over them as I dance around in true whacko fashion. Then I poke through the radish patch to see if any are the right size and get picked to death. All this time Ruby and Max are right with me. Ruby pokes around the garden but is largely of no consequence. She is just there for company, really. Max? Max picks beans and eats them, bites off the pea flowers, strips leaves from the corn stalks, samples the parsley, pulls and eats the leaves from the radishes (even the picky ones!) and will pull up a radish or two to play with on the patio. He doesn't try to eat them anymore though. These are really hot and quite bitter right from the garden. He ate half of one once, then came barreling over and hid behind me, foaming at the mouth and looking quite sad. What can I say, he's a goofball. Remember my loverly dirt? Well this is what it looks like now.My style of gardening is called "intensive". Using small spaces and packing things in to make best use of the space. Sure, it looks like chaos and there are no nice, clean rows nor areas of bare dirt with picturesque plants in between. But it takes best advantage of the space you have and works with the growing cycles and seasons of different things. For example, there are carrots planted in a row right between the two rows of corn. Yes, they grow slower because they are essentially shaded right now. However, once the corn is harvested (soon, actually) they will suddenly be in the sunlight, and can grow to their hearts content. I am not looking for baby spring carrots, I want bigger cooking carrots here. I plant things closer together than usually recommended, with the idea that I can eat the "thinnings" as the patch grows, making room for the plants that are left to fill that void. For example, I start picking beets here and there when they are tiny (for the leaves), then when they are ping pong ball size. Some will be left to fill those gaps and become bigger. Onions and leeks work the same. "Thin" for green onions and baby leeks, then again for slightly bigger spring onions, and so on leaving some to get mature and full sized. No waste that way as well.

Does it look like a jungle? Yes. Is it harder to weed? Sometimes, depending on your trouble weeds. Some weeds are discouraged and shaded out, others still manage to get in there. The bindweed is impossible to keep up with this year, and I see in two days it has completely taken over my clump of chives (bottom right). Bother.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Clearly a bad decision

I know not to eat an entire pint of blueberries while working at my desk. I know that it seems like a good idea while those ripe little buggers are popping one by one in my mouth, but that later there is always a price to pay. I know these things. And yet, I laugh in the face of that knowledge more regularly than I care to admit.
Guess what I did today? And guess what I will be doing tonight? You can bet it doesn't include leaving the house at any point lest I get caught in a moment of intestinal distress while stranded in traffic.
We won't talk about the perfectly ripe local strawberries that were two containers for five dollars and needed to be eaten right away and I am the only one that eats them here. Why do I do this to myself??? Eh. It was worth it. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaa!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

There is just no pleasing me.

Like that is news to anybody here, right? Tee hee!
The weather has turned quite hot, and we had to concede defeat and turn on the air. Sleeping was getting hard (I hate being hot and stuffy when I try to sleep) and the dogs were starting to suffer. Pugs need cool and that is that.
Now, I sweat outside and I freeze inside. We have the temp set at a sensible level, not like a deep freeze. But while I don't really like the heat, I can't handle air conditioning either. So here I sit - while it is hot enough to fry eggs outside - with long pants, socks, and a sweater on. DH asked if I wanted him to make it cooler because he still finds it a little warm. If he turns it down any more, I might need a parka and a quilt.
Completely unrelated, but every day when I come home from work, this is what is waiting for me in the yard. Aren't they cuties?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Please explain to me

Please explain to me what taking a shower has to do with dancing around the bathroom wearing high heels? Because the child that is supposed to be doing the former is actually doing the latter. And unless she can prove a solid relationship between the two, her ass is grass. Max keeps finding Polly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop shoes. They are tiny and rubber and he walks around chewing them loudly like bubble gum. If I look directly at him, he stops chewing and stands there with his mouth closed, trying to look nonchallant. One of the best things to teach a dog is "spit it out". 'Drop it' is fine for toys are larger objects, but "Spit it out" is invaluable when they have small things in their mouths that you can't just pull out. He usually does spit them out, but begrudgingly. And within moments he comes back with yet another one. It's like the loaves and the fishes, without the inspirational message. Or the annoying never-ending-hankerchief trick.....but with more dog spit. If he keeps this up, his ass is grass. Ruby has decided that nobody on this street is allowed to do ANYTHING. No getting in and out of cars, cutting grass, going for walks or riding bikes, and for heaven's sake - don't you dare rollerblade! She has been staring out the patio door and barking non-stop since dinnertime. It is getting on my nerves. Buff. Buff. Bow wow woowrrooooooo! If she doesn't stop, her ass is grass. Maybe I just like saying "ass is grass".

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Mmmm mmmmm Soup!

I know it is not quite soup weather, but I like a nice vegetable soup for lunch on a work day. It's quick, filling, and comforting on a busy day. Tonight I am simmering some onions, leeks (from the garden, yay!), turnip, carrot, mushrooms, radish leaves (thinnings from the garden), herbs (parsley, rosemary, thyme, basil, and sage all from the garden) and a mixture of vegetable and mushroom stock. Oh, and barley. I love barley. I might toss in some spinach leaves when it is done, they will cook from the residual heat. Tips of tarragon were a temptation, but I was worried the licorice flavour would not blend well with the mushrooms and veggies. Another time, maybe. For sure in my salad tomorrow. I nibbled a few and they are succulent and sweet. I am thinking romaine, spinach, sweet onion, and orange sections along with tarragon tips and a light citrus vinagrette. Mmmmmmm. Well, a bit more simmering and I am off to bed. *YAWN*

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Have you met Dazzle?

No, I don't believe I have introduced Dazzle. After Sparkle was put to sleep, we knew we had to get another hamster. She is friendly, but not nearly as easy to pick up as Sparkle. When she sees your hand coming, she takes a run for it. And is she FAST. But once you have her, she is fine and even seems to enjoy it. She has had her share of adventures already, and we haven't had her long. This last time, we knew she had been out for a while and I figured we couldn't hear her rustling around because she had gone to sleep somewhere. I found her curled up in a kleenex box (under the tissues, mind you) at the bottom of DD's bookcase, hidden under some books and a paper towel.
Isn't she cute?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Wanna see mah dirt?

Here it is. My dirt. Isn't it loverly? You can't see it yet, but there are beans and peas and corn, carrots and beets and radishes. Those limp bleached out looking things lost in the farthest right hand bed? Yeah, those would be shocky tomato plants. Who knew heirlooms were such sissies about a little scorching heat then damp cold? Along the back is a gianormous rhubarb plant, then some unruly asparagus, and a coddled ginko tree that is starting to outgrow it's spot. The poor thing wasn't even supposed to live, and there it is taking over the world, starting with the corner of the garden! Although it does hide the view of the junk tossed behind the shed.
The dogs haven't come to terms with the fact that this is MY dirt, and not theirs.
You can see snippets of the patio DH just put in for me, a place where I can sit and look at the garden while DD swims in the pool. There wasn't a good place to sit before, that was close enough to really keep an eye on things. He even made a path all the way from the side patio to the back patio. It's funny to watch the dogs, they love to follow the path. Pugs are a little bit OCD. Maybe that's why I love them so much ROFL.
I love columbine. Don't you?
I tried to take even more garden photos, but this odd black blur kept appearing in all of them. I wonder what it might be. Hmmmmmm.
(Here's a little hint)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Madder than a wet hen

I know there are days in every marriage when a person thinks "I don't know if I can put up with this". And I know I have had more than my own fair share of those moments, being as I am self-centered, anxiety ridden, and the instant-gratification queen. But today? I am ready to compost him today. He has been a miserable ass all day. He told DD she could have a friend sleep over, then has been a bear. Miserable about cooking them dinner (you wanna eat meat? You cook it). Miserable, yet offers to take them for ice cream. Insists that I go "for the ride" - which apparently means "so I can pay". DD asked for a banana split twister thingy, I said NO. DH said 'sure, why not?' then was pissed off when she found pineapple in it and refused to eat it. Then he was MORE pissed off that he gave up his own sundae to her, and almost lost his mind when she took two bites, then SPIT BACK INTO THE BOWL and said she couldn't eat it because there were nuts on it. Her friend did not like her sundae aither (she claims she did not know 'hot fudge' meant chocolate - which she does not like). So now he is upstairs pouting, and I am out almost $15.00 for ice cream nobody ate. The girls accurately guessed my feelings for their little games and decided to go for a bike ride. All day I have been trying to mind my own business and do the things I planned. I weeded the garden beds and prepared the back for planting. I shopped for a few plants I needed and some fill in stuff for the garden. I cooked my own dinner on the crappy back burner we both hate to use and ate out of a bowl because we have no plates (these two use a big plate for every darn thing, then act surprised when there are no plates clean for dinner). What do I get for my trouble? My car was parked on the road while DH hosed off the pool cover. Somebody scraped my car from stem to stern, all down the drivers side. DH is acting all "big deal, it's just a scratch". And friends, at that moment, when he said those words, I wanted to hurt him. I am going to lie on the floor now and calm down.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Blah.

Rainy grey blah day. DD and I were discussing how fortunate it was for the robins, who LOVE to eat worms, that the rain makes the worms come out. And it is especially rainy in the spring, right when the robins need the most worms to feed their babies. Kind of cool, that. Of course, it would be better if it didn't involve rainy gray blah days and everything smelling like wet worms. I would also appreciate if somebody would tell these pugs that they are DOGS and not robins, and have no need to slurp up the bloated worms on the patio like buccatini. Wormy smelling outside the house, and pugs with worm breath inside the house. Plus the aroma of wet dog is not exactly enticing. Dry pugs smell like socks and fritos. Wet pugs just smell like wet dog. With worm breath. Pew! Did you ever think you would willingly read anything containing the word "worm" so many times? Worm worm wormy worm worm. My work is done here. WORM!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Happy Easter, and a belated good-bye

Hope everybody had a relaxing easter. DD and I made bread. We coloured easter eggs, and had our own little breakfast with kabasa and raisin bread and egg fights. Sunday I made dinner for the three of us....a small ham, mashed potatoes, and creamed peas. Done my parents proud, for sure ROFL. It was low-key, but nice. I didn't get to escape the in-laws entirely, we met them for dessert on Sunday night. You know, so they could tell me how I ruined their easter because we didn't go out to Swiss Chalet for dinner and so on. The usual ;). As for the belated good-bye. Right before march break, Sparkle the hamster developed a "squinky eye". It got bad real fast. In fact, her appointment was the day after we noticed it, and we got anti-biotics (drops for the eye and liquid to give her) but it didn't seem to be doing any good. I was basically doing surgery on her eye every night to clean it out, and it was not looking good. Her other eye started to look funny, not a good sign. So we brought her into the emergency vet to take a look. He cleaned her up and gave us an honest assessment. She might last another day, but the infection was not getting better. So we put her to sleep. Poor guy. There he was in a room full of people all teary eyed over a hamster. We still really miss her. Funny how something so small could become so beloved. When we got back from Spring vacation, we went and let DD pick out a new hamster. Her name is Dazzle. No pictures yet, she is notoriously difficult to photograph. And while she is friendly, she is not fond of being picked up. Kind of hurts the heart, when you want so bad to be able to kiss and hold her like Sparkle, who was very tame. But she is adorable even still and we all like her. Except she hisses at the dog and scares the crap out of us when she does it. I have NEVER heard something so small make such a scary noise ROFLMAO! Now. About this weather. I am not sure who I should talk to regarding this, but we have had enough of this now. It looks warm and sunny and spring like and the birds are chirping and daffodils are blooming and so on. But step outside and WHAM! The cold hits you like a brick. What the freak?!?!?! I find it offensive to have to wear my winter coat when it looks so nice outside. What kind of trick is this? My asparagus is up and has been stalled at an inch tall for two weeks now. It won't grow any more unless it warms up, so whoever is in charge of such things...would you MIND? I have the arbario rice and organic lemons waiting to make a nice batch of risotto with lemon and asparagus. The dogs are restless as well. We need to start going for long walkies, but that wind just cuts right through me. There I was, on what looked like a wonderful sunny day wearing a winter coat, touque, scarf, mittens, my winter boots, thick socks, and shivering. I made it around the block before I bailed. Sorry puppies, but until it warms up a bit this suckie bear is staying in. Dh was saying that maybe we should wait a year before getting a heater for the pool, seeing as we don't know what is going on with the auto industry. But if we do that, I can for sure say I will most likely not be able to swim in it. I just can't handle being chilled any more. No more barefoot in the snow for this chilly-willy. Today I was supposed to make the vegan mousakka that I have the ingredients for and was supposed to technically make to eat on Sunday. But the recipe calls for several steps (including slicing and roasting the veggies separately) and frankly, I am too lazy ROFL. I think maybe I will cut the veggies and toss them into a slow cooker with the sauce ingredients. Then I can spoon that into a casserole and top with the "creamy" layer. That sounds like a better plan. Although, that still requires I get off my arse and go chop veggies. Hmmmmmm........

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Come rub my hands

Work has been busy busy busy. Between computer work, grinding keys on a polishing wheel, clipping the little chains on ID's, and programming work at home to the late hours of the night.....my hands are ACHING. Particulary my right one. And *whine whine whine* I got a metal burr stuck in my finger today and it hurts like a paper cut and my feet are cold and my ears are itchy *whine whine whine*. Tee hee!
Really though, I am beat. DD has been feeling poorly (low grade fever, and listless) the last few days so I am up a few times a night with her as well. Not exactly conducive to rest. I keep trying to press the snooze button in the morning, but Max knows that beep means BREAKFAST! No way is he letting me go back to sleep. All pugs love their food, and Ruby surely lets us know when her next meal is due. But 6:15 am? Yeah, she would rather sleep a little bit longer thank you. I had to look up "conducive" just now. Doesn't it look wrong? I figured it HAD to be wrong. Odd how some words just never look right, eh?
I am off to bed now. Night night. Wishing you gentle pug snores and warm fuzzy fur-babies to curl up with!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Whose idea was it to rescue this dog?!?!

I forgot what puppies were like

 

All at once hilarious, exasperating, invigorating, and exhausting.  He ticks me off but cracks me up at the same time.

 

Every time I try to sit somewhere, he is up and in the spot.  I don't know how many times I have practically squashed him.  And he doesn't budge either.  He could care less that I am flattening him with my behind.  I have pushed him off several times in a row to turn and squash him again.  He is so fast, his feet barely hit the floor before he is back up again and right where I want to sit.

 

Ruby takes a few tries to get up on something (starts to jump, changes mind, walks it off, walks it off, walks it off, tries again, nope not ready yet, walks it off, walks it off, third try alli-oop!).  This means there is some warning that she is on her way up.  Max?  Your warning is him….. suddenly appearing nose to nose with you.  And he immediately squirms around to position himself so you can hold him like a baby.  Annoying when cups and papers and stuff go flying, but adorable and hilarious at the same time.

 

He gets into stuff.  And we have a LOT of stuff to get into.  But he is so SNEAKY!  He can take a stuffed animal right out from DD's arms as she is reading and she doesn't even notice until he dances past her later, swinging the stuffie around like a pendant.  If you react ("Hey!") he takes a run for it.  And impossible to catch.  Chasing a pug is like trying to catch a greased pig.  They are faster than they look, and can slink and scrunch and suddenly flatten against the ground making it impossible to make a grab.  It's almost like watching a scene from the Matrix, when the characters do those impossible poses to avoid being hit by bullets.

 

He rips cardboard.  He rips paper.  He steals things like shoes and socks and stuffed animals.  He keeps pulling the bookmarks out of books and loves to go "shopping" in the bathroom garbage can.  And I think he is getting smarter.  I think he steals one thing so that while I am taking that and hiding it away it gives him the chance to steal what he REALLY wanted.

 

Last night he pranced by with a clear glass christmas ornament in his mouth (leftover from a Brownie Crafts night).  I got it away from him, but before I was even done putting it on the shelf, he was under the desk ripping up a notebook stolen from DD's backpack.  Bugger.

 

One of his favourite games is romping on the couch, squirming on it, and racing back and forth until the cushions come off.  If they are being stubborn he gives them a bit of help by burrowing underneath then flipping them off with his back.  He will also purposely knock the pillows off so he can lay on them on the floor.  I will find him laying with his head on a pillow, amid a chaotic mess of couch cushions, with all the toys in a ring around him (He likes to keep the toys arranged.  When he is done with them, he piles them behind the dog bed).  Geesh.  I only went to the BATHROOM for goodness sake!

 

So far he has eaten a pencil and at least one crayon, several books, countless sections of the newspaper, toilet paper rolls, and my shoes.  He demolished an entire new case of water bottles (and soaked the carpet, the bed, and the couch in the process).  Think it is cute to let your doggie crunch up empty water bottles?  Not so cute when they do the same with FULL ones.  He likes to chew rocks from the backyard.  He found a tree branch from SOMEWHERE and carries it around the backyard like a trophy.

 

I wonder what carnage awaits me today after work, since between the week-end and the holiday on Monday he has had us home for three straight days.  He figures we should stay home to hold him like a baby and kiss him on the nose EVERY day.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

What does a vegan eat at the Florida State Fair?

Well let’s see. First there is the assortment of “deep fried” goodies. If anybody was brave enough to try a deep fried pepsi ball, please let me know. I was dying of curiosity but way too scared to even inquire about them. Just to be fair, they did have these.
See that? Deep fried vegetables. And just about any variety of fried potato imaginable. Ribbons fried up like a great big anemone of potato chips. French fries of every description topped with everything imagineable. I don’t even want to think about what happens to the sewer systems after thousands of people have eaten that much melted cheese on so many greasy foods! And of course, a major assortment of food on sticks. What is it about food on a stick that makes it so enjoyable? To our credit, we did not eat any food on sticks. And there was no pizza on a stick, which was a disappointment because I just might have been tempted by that one.
But what DOES a vegan eat at the Florida State Fair? Chocolate dipped bacon, of course! This is a picture of a newspaper article so that you don't think I am making this up.
And a picture of the sign.
And a picture of the item in person, being eaten by said blogger in person.
And she does not eat it alone. Yep, there they are: Nita and Timm, accomplices in crime. In fact, I do believe it was Timm that mosied up to the counter and paid for that plate of heart attack to share with us. Hmmm. If chocolate is GOOD for the heart and bacon is BAD for the heart, maybe they cancel each other out. They just might have something there! How was it? Why, you will just have to try it for yourself and see! We petted goats and looked at cows and talked to geese that had chicken feathers. We saw a circus and walked by some dancing bears that were on their coffee break. We ate a potato chip anemone and strawberry shortcake (I won’t be seeing a real strawberry at home until June at the earliest, and only for a few weeks – the season is quite short). We dipped our bacon in chocolate and carefully avoided the guys trading guesses on weight and age for $10.00 bills. If you win, you get a very expensive $0.50 bear straight from china. If you lose? The entire crowd knows how old and fat you are and your wallet is a bit thinner. We had a wonderful day at the fair. Thank you Nita and Timm!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

There is a new man in my life.

Well, he is more like a boy. Barely a teenager, some would say. And yet I am completely in love. And here he is:
His name is Max. He is 7 months old. While he was born into a good home, he was sold into another and not treated very well. He was given back, but the damage had already been done. Skittish, afraid of children, and every time you move your hands he acts like you are going to hit him.
The first day he came here, he wouldn't come near me. Just cowered behind DH's legs. Somehow, the first night, something changed. All of a sudden, he became MY dog. How does this happen? I mean, it's not like I am particularly wonderful or anything. Beasts just become attached to me. What can I say?
He has been here for a little over a week, and has improved by leaps and bounds. He no longer cowers, and his personality is starting to come out. He plays now, and no longer cringes when you move your hands. Which is really nice because I tend to gesture a LOT while I talk.
Talk about a sweet heart! He will cuddle for hours, and let you kiss him all over his face. Including his NOSE! I finally get to kiss a pug nose! Hurray! He loves to be carried around, and if you wrap him in a blanket like a baby he just soaks it all in. Ahem. According to a valuable source, of course. *cough*. The hard part about that, is that while he is just a pup by dog standards, he is basically full grown and weighs 21 pounds! He's much taller and longer than Ruby, and is not overweight at all. In fact, we have to watch to make sure he doesn't lose any. What a trip eh? And talk about long. His legs dangle down over your arms like a grasshoppers.
*Never mind how I look in this picture. I wasn't feeling well*
He has already learned sit and "pug dancing", and blessedly came potty trained. We need to work on a few other tricks, and he has a nasty habit of running at DD barking like a maniac and challenging her. She can touch him and kiss him and such, but if she walks into or out of a room, he barks and growls and rushes at her. So far no fur up, snarling, or biting. But a few times he has jumped up and pushed her with his front paws. He was abused by children in the past, so we have to retrain him on that issue.
Ruby just adores him. She kisses his face and wags her tail. But don't be fooled, she is the QUEEN of this house. Already, one look from her and Max drops to the floor and rolls over in a submissive gesture. Nobody messes with Ruby's bear! A few times he has laid next to her, and she let him. See, Ruby is not used to other animals touching her. She gets nervous. After all, usually when the cats "touch" her it involves a swat. When he tried to rest his head on her she called it quits. Too much too soon I guess ROFL. Right now Ruby is under the desk on a blanket, and Max is on the futon - which is officially Jasmine's spot but she isn't using it right now.
Max is very much like Ruby in that he doesn't chase the cats unless they run and really seem interesting at the moment. Both have stopped mid-chase and gave him a piece of their mind, which resulted in a streak of black lightning appearing behind my legs, bewildered and subdued. Hey, a guy has to learn his place, right?
Now when I sit and knit or read on the couch, I usually have a pug on one side, a pug on the other, and a cat on my lap. They keep me warm. Just doing our part to keep the energy bills down!
*Say NOTHING about the christmas decorations in the background. They are gone now, and it is not child abuse to have the decorations up after January as long as the tree is not real and it is not June yet.*

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bring me food!

I have an intense craving for a club house sandwich. With real turkey, bacon, and EXTRA mayo. Which is odd, because normally I would pick the bacon off and eat it separately. Well, normally before I became vegan. Now I don't eat it at all (nor the turkey, and not regular mayo either). My favourite favourite "club" is one made layered on a soft pita, with real turkey and shaved ham. Add a side of fries and gravy and I would be set. Sigh. I can sub for the bacon (bacos are fine, and there is Yves veggie bacon strips that I like as well) and vegenaise is excellent mayo. But nothing to sub for the turkey. It's a texture thing - it has to be there. Any seitan type products taste so wheat-gluten-ey they make me gag. A fake BLT? Just won't cut it. I think I just might have to pick myself up a triple decker club house sandwich complete with the fixings. Oh, and an extra pickle too please. Apparently a single apple-cranberry-flax english muffin is not enough for breakfast and makes me crave stuff. Now I want poutine, pizza with double cheese and every topping they have, and a gyro.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Hey, it's on me.

Since getting married, my in-laws have always wanted to be very involved. With everything. Not only in the sense of knowing what is going on, but being part of the whole process from beginning to end. Wait a minute, make that in CHARGE of the whole process. When we didn't pick carpet colours they wanted (hey, it's OUR house!) FIL actually went and tried to change them. The smart carpet guy remembered that I was there when the order was made, and was NOT there when the changes were requested. "I ain't going against no wife without making sure she wants it changed". Smart man. At some point they realized that I have a stronger personality than their son, and like to make my own decisions. So they began to appeal to DH's cheap side and started offering to pay for things. This was mostly so they could pick out what THEY wanted us to have. When we put the bathroom in the basement they wanted a different sink and toilet and shower stall so FIL said "I'll tell you what. The bathroom is on us, a housewarming gift. I'll take care of it all". Of course, this meant choosing the sink and toilet and shower stall that he wanted and having some guy install it with no permits. We paid for everything up front (with the assurance that we would be paid back), and I insisted on permits. Did the money ever get paid to us? No. MIL still to this day talks about the lovely bathroom they "gave" us. This was a pattern that started to repeat. "You like that comfortor set? It's on us". Hmmmm. If the bedding is on MY credit card and I never see the money for it, why do they keep insisted it was a present??? Now that FIL has passed on, MIL has continued this tradition. Coat shopping for DD, she wanted a fancy coat that was not weatherproof and we were only planning on buying ONE coat, a winter coat. "Tell you what. She wants the other coat too? It's on me. Call it a birthday present". It was a birthday present all right. And I gave it to her, because no coinage passed hands. Every time DD wears the coat in her presence she makes a big deal about it being from HER. I have to bite my tongue each time. DH and I were planning on getting a WII as a family present for Christmas. MIL decided that we should find it, buy it, and it would be FROM HER - you know, since she couldn't get around to look for one being a non-driver and all. The microwave "she" bought for her sister for christmas was also technically from us (of course, it was my costco card so I had to pay, because her card expired and she didn't want to pay the membership fee just then). She sure gives expensive gifts. So expensive I think I might go broke from her generosity ;). I have only just realized what a beautiful scam this is. It's almost like Seinfeld and taking credit for the big salad you had no part in ordering or paying for. Just think, you can take credit for ANYTHING and never have to pay a penny! Oh, you just bought a new house? How nice. Know what? I like you. The house is on me, how about that! Now let's talk about those ugly tiles you picked. I much prefer pink polka dots. After all, it IS from me. Or that car? Hey, it's from me! You go ahead and make ALL the payments but make sure you give me credit, okay? And never mind that beige you wanted. Purple is all the rage this year. Sheesh. (Can you tell the bills just came in from Christmas? *snort*)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

M-I-A and another M-I

No, not a trip. Just a silly way to start a "I have been MIA for a really really long time and I am going to jump right in like I haven't been gone at all" post. Sorry, I must have been channelling the golden girls. Great. Now I have that "Miami" song stuck in my head. Drat.
So. How 'ya been? What'cha been doing? How's the kids? Hey, did I tell you I got a guitar for christmas? Yep. An inexpensive accoustic to learn on. I already know three chords and can belt out a rousing rendition of "Blowing in the Wind". The best part of practicing is knowing that I am driving DH and DD crazy playing the same thing over and over and over again, complete with bad singing! It's like a dream come true. My goal is to be able to bring my guitar places (like Brownies and cottages and camping and stuff) and play many different songs badly while singing horribly. If I get really good, I might even be able to properly mangle requests. *sniff* *sniff*. Such a bee-yoo-ti-ful dream. Makes me weepy. *snrrrrrrk*. Oops. Sorry about your sleeve.
Ruby is droopy right now. She is upset because she wants me to sit on the couch and make my lap available to her. She is not pleased that I chose to blog instead. See? It isn't entirely my fault I have been MIA. How can I resist those eyeballs?
It has been pretty cold here. She doesn't generally mind the snow and stuff. But at night she has been spending a lot of time behind my knees or under the covers. Beats having her on my head, mind you. But between her, the cats, and my flannel pajamas I feel like I am caught in flypaper all night. I try to move one way and I am pinned under the covers by a cat. Try to move the other way and get a disgruntled snort for crowding the dog. Try to flip in place and nearly dislocate something because my flannel is velcro'd in place on the sheets. Some nights I am tempted to go sleep on the couch, but the critters would only follow me. And DH or DD is bound to come wake me up and ask me what I am doing on the couch.
WHY wake a sleeping person and ask what they are doing? I mean, I am obviously not playing raquetball or advising City Council at that moment. Sheesh.
For those that care, I am still eating vegan. Other than the occasional cream in my coffee (when I go out. I use soy creamer at home and work) and the very occasional free-range antibiotic-free organic brown egg, that is. The shells on those things are so hard you practically need a hacksaw to crack them open. And the yolks? The colour is richer than the sun, my friends. So dark and intense that DD is suspicious and won't eat them ROFL! Now isn't that a kick in the pants? DH cracked one of each kind in separate bowls and we couldn't believe the difference. Even though they were bought at the same time, the organic eggs were visibly fresher. If only I didn't have to mortgage the house to eat them. Darn city by-laws. I'll get my own chickens yet.
Speaking of cold, my hands are freezing. I'd better go and get a hot tea and grant Rubella's request for a warm lap. She hates when I put my cold hands under her belly, but what the heck. She's even cute when she looks annoyed.