Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Please explain to me

Please explain to me what taking a shower has to do with dancing around the bathroom wearing high heels? Because the child that is supposed to be doing the former is actually doing the latter. And unless she can prove a solid relationship between the two, her ass is grass. Max keeps finding Polly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop shoes. They are tiny and rubber and he walks around chewing them loudly like bubble gum. If I look directly at him, he stops chewing and stands there with his mouth closed, trying to look nonchallant. One of the best things to teach a dog is "spit it out". 'Drop it' is fine for toys are larger objects, but "Spit it out" is invaluable when they have small things in their mouths that you can't just pull out. He usually does spit them out, but begrudgingly. And within moments he comes back with yet another one. It's like the loaves and the fishes, without the inspirational message. Or the annoying never-ending-hankerchief trick.....but with more dog spit. If he keeps this up, his ass is grass. Ruby has decided that nobody on this street is allowed to do ANYTHING. No getting in and out of cars, cutting grass, going for walks or riding bikes, and for heaven's sake - don't you dare rollerblade! She has been staring out the patio door and barking non-stop since dinnertime. It is getting on my nerves. Buff. Buff. Bow wow woowrrooooooo! If she doesn't stop, her ass is grass. Maybe I just like saying "ass is grass".

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