Dances In Garden

Fricken spam!

2011-10-12T19:26:00.000-07:00

And I don't mean the square can of meat, either.

My hotmail account was hijacked AGAIN somehow. So if you got an email from me, and it contained a link to penis enlargement supplies, nicotine treatments, or who knows what all else - IGNORE it and DELETE it. I did not send it, and I have no affiliation with whatever it is.

Sheesh!

Turkey Day!

2011-10-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

Turkey from Field Gate Organics, bought at Far Flung Foods (Windsor Market Square). It cost over $5.00 per pound, and this is a 14 pound bird.

WORTH. EVERY. PENNY.

Mmmmmm - soup!

2011-09-10T14:56:00.001-07:00

Home made turkey noodle soup for dinner tonight, with panini sandwiches (okay, I just ate the bread with my home made butter - nom nom nom). So far today I have made turkey noodle soup, vegetable soup, and beef broth to make mushroom barley soup.

I bought some yellow peppers to make stuffed peppers, and a nice flat cabbage to make cabbage rolls. I also got the ground pork and beef for both of those items, but I don't think I will be doing any rolling or stuffing today. I plan on freezing servings of the soup and everything else to bring for lunch or for easy dinners later on. When I get the chance I am going to make a batch of chili as well (white bean, turkey).

Something about this time of year makes me want to cook and nest and preserve. Maybe I am part bear, and some genetic trait makes me want to get ready for hibernation?

Sorry for the hack! And mmmmm....Pizza!

2011-08-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the hack post. It must have been sent to my blogger remote address from my address book in hotmail. Not sure how the spam message was sent out, but I am hearing about quite a few people that are getting hit right now. Now to the pizza!

I have always liked the idea of creating things from scratch. Providing items for yourself. Making your own bread (even grinding your own grain, even better, GROWING that grain yourself first). I have even made rope from dried weeds. YES it took a long time. YES the rope was very scratchy and I got bored before I made a very long piece. And YES I need to get out more. Hey, go ahead and laugh. When the zombie apocolypse happens and you need rope to tie something closed, who will be laughing then, hmmmmmmm? But I digress.

For this fully homemade pizza, I did not grow my own grain, nor milk my own cow, nor slaughter my own animals. But I will tell you this.

I made the sauce from tomatoes, oregano, and basil that grew in my garden, and garlic pulled up by my own hands. I mixed the dough myself, using whey that I got from making the cheese. On top of the pizza are pepperoni that I made, italian sausage crumbles from my own recipe, and ham that I cured myself from pork loin. Oh, and green peppers that also grew in my garden. For dessert? Watermelon. Guess where that came from? To give credit where it is due, I have to admit that my home garden was planted and tended by my husband Jeff.

Some day I hope that I will be able to get the milk to make the cheese and whey from my own cow. And to raise the pigs that will become the sausage and the ham. And who knows, maybe even grow the grain that will eventually be ground into flour for the dough.

But for right now? It was the best pizza I have ever made. It technically took weeks (if you include making the pepperoni) or days (if you figure on the making of the cheese and the sauce). Totally worth it!

P.S. - the pizza sauce is green. The pizza looks MUCH better in person, trust me!

Okay, so here's the thing.

2011-07-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

I can remember now why it was so hard when I was working from home, doing programming over the interwebs. Programming is hard. The interwebs are slow and frought with peril. It takes focus and concentration and stuff, which is always in short supply these days in my addled brain.

Plus the fact that I want to get the stuff done at a reasonable hour, rather than waiting for the interruptions to go to bed *cough* and working into the wee hours. Tonight should be no problem. Interruption number one is at work, and interruption two is upstairs listening to music and drawing. But here's the thing. I forgot about the OTHER interruptions that live here.

Ever tried doing some intense computer work with a kitten that thinks laptops are bun warmers, keyboards are for walking across, and likes to head butt your touch screen monitor (every letter is now is gigantic) then lean on it (now the words are like teeny tiny ants, barely visible)? Max doesn't like me working at the dining room table because he can't sit on my lap, so he keeps scratching at me and grunting. Ruby parks her squishy butt on my foot or lies down right where my feet are supposed to be on the floor.

It's a conspiracy, I tell 'ya! Enough belly-aching. I have work to do. And a kitten-arse to shove off the laptop. Sigh.

Happy Canada Day!

2011-07-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

I should have used this day off to do something practical. Like weed the garden. Or clean the house. Perhaps some laundry.

Did I do any of those things? HECK NO!

I slept in, grabbed Tim Hortons, and had F. U. N.

First, I made myself a "mug rug" for my desk at work. I have some bamboo coasters, but they are just not working for me.

A mug rug is a small piece of sewing or quilting that is smaller than a place mat, but larger than a coaster. It is big enough to put a mug (or glass) on one side, and maybe a snack on the other. This is my first attempt at quilting, so pardon the lack of technique.

I don't really have any quilting supplies or tools, and I don't have a special foot for my sewing machine to avoid some buckling and pinching of the layers. But I LOVE IT!

No pattern or anything, just a mish-mash of some things I saw over the internet. Instead of a backing and a binding, this one uses a larger backing that is folded over the edges to make the binding as well. I want to make a few for at home and for presents, so don't worry. I will have a chance to practice binding too!

Here is the back. Those two patches are now hand-sewn down on the back, and I stiched my initials on the border right underneath. I think they add interest, and best of all, they hide some really crappy circles that look great on the front as quilting, but not so much on the back lol!

For the materials, I used two bandanas, and a re-purposed pillow case. I want to try hand quilting the paisley, I think it will buckle less and would be relaxing to do in front of the tv.

Then, I loosely followed this tutorial to make an apron out of some pretty dish towels. They were a dollar each, and I used trimmings from a bandana I used for the mug rug for the ties. I really like this apron, but then again I have an apron fetish. I have several, and I wear them all the time. Sometimes for cooking or crafting, sometimes just while sitting and watching TV so that I don't get covered in pet hair. You know, since I have to have at least two animals sitting on me at a time. Again, there was a bit of pinching/buckling because of the presser foot of my machine, but I still think it turned out awesome!

What did YOU do on your Canada Day?

Feel like a campfire?

2011-06-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

Or maybe, you just like campfires for the s'mores.

How about some s'more CUPCAKES.

Cupcake porn!

Now that's a picture for desktop wallpaper, if I've ever seen one!

Recipe here. I used less topping, and I added some graham chunks to the top of the cupcakes.

Help Help!

2011-05-16T18:19:00.001-07:00

Chicken Attack!

They just like my purty boots, is all.

Or maybe because I was taking.......THESE!

Geeve up ze boots, lady!

Flautas!

2011-05-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

Home-made corn tortillas, a filling made with salsa, shredded pork, cheese, and sour cream, a few toothpicks.....and OLE! Well, as close to ole as a French Canadian Polish Russion girl can get ;).

I called these flautas, but some people call the ones made with corn tortillas taquitos and reserve flauta for the flour tortilla version (which are usually larger too). To me, a taquito has very little filling, mostly just meat, and they are rolled very very tightly. Also, they are much smaller (one or two bites). But what does a gringa know, really.

These were easier to make than I thought. I worried that the innards would get very greasy because the ends are just left open. But they didn't taste greasy at all.

Crispy on the outside, the inside was juicy and flavourful, and some of the thicker parts of the tortilla (hey, give me a break. I do the best I can LOL) had a distinct tamale vibe. YUM. Will definitely do this again some time, maybe for appetizers and make a much bigger batch. Not often, after all they ARE fried.

DD's review? "Meh. I ate them. Now I'm going to have a bowl of Special K". Kid doesn't know what's good.

It must be GOOD FRIDAY!

2011-04-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

And how do I know? Because the house smells like Easter Bread, of course!

I made one batch. And I got three gigantic loaves, and a ring loaf (not pictured).

Plus two dozen buns.

And four half loaves.

Look at that, man oh man! The darker colour is from the sugar I used - "whole brown sugar". It is very dark and has a complex, almost raisiny flavour which I thought would go well in the bread. And I am not wrong, BTW. How do I know? Well, I couldn't just let that little bun sit there with it's easter bread guts hanging out, could I? It was a mercy eating....I swear it!

Just note: I made some changes to the recipe I normally use. The whole brown sugar, and I kneaded it more and added more flour than we usually would. I have worked with bread a bit more now, and wanted to see what the bread would be like if I treated it like I would other bread - kneading in flour until it is soft and supply and only maybe a tiny bit sticky. I also slashed the loaves to see if I would get "oven spring". The flavour is still straight up Easter Bread like I remember (as the that heavenly aroma as it bakes!). But the texture inside is flossy and fluffy and......

*Oh look. I think I see a mis-shaped bun.* I'd better "dispose" of that before somebody sees it. Ahem.

Bake Sale Time!

2011-04-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

So. What does one make for two separate bake sales? One with a spring theme, and the other to benefit a wildlife rescue?

Birdie cookies, of course! And birds nests.

Not to mention flowers...

Some trefoils, and some cookies that are just cheerful.

I am pooped, but the cookies are baked and cooled and packaged, and ready to go. I have to admit though.......they are purty!

Is it cold, or is it hot?

2011-04-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

Cold - put on a coat. Now the sun is out, and it is hot - strip down before you melt. Ooh, now it's cold again - brrr, where is my scarf. Really, the weather has to choose one or the other. For goodness sakes, before we all bloom like a box of improperly stored chocolates!

We turned the heat off and opened the windows on Sunday. You know, because it was almost NINETY DEGREES outside. It cooled down Monday, but we figured how much cooler will it get after a balmy day like that? Now we know. When I woke up this morning, the house was 60 degrees. I turned the heat back on (so I wouldn't die of hypothermia after taking a nice hot shower), and Skywalker came flying across the room to sit on the register and warm his frozen backside. Poor thing ;).

That little guy likes it warm. His favourite nap spot is on top of the DVR unit, which is always practically hot to the touch. He also likes to snuggle between the two snorty heating pads - aka the pugs. Max is always warm and squishy. He has the hottest armpits of any dog I know. We don't need to discuss why I know the relative temp of his armpits, mmmmmkay?

On Sunday, the house got quite warm (even with the windows open). I found Skywalker spread out completely flat on the laminate floor, on his belly. I almost panicked, he's never done that before! Then I realized I've never seen him hot before LOL.

Since I dream of actual spring, here is a picture I took recently in California.

Is there anything cuter?

2011-04-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more adorable, than a Ruby with a new chewie?

She will carry it around like that for a while...proudly showing it off to anyone that will look. She prances from room to room, tail wagging, happy snorts aplenty.

Eventually she will place it in front of the couch, then plunk herself down and give us meaningful stares and a good sneezing/snotting. This is klingon for "please lift me onto the couch, make sure I am comfey, then hold on to my chewie so I can gnaw on it in comfort".

I'll lift and arrange and supply the chewie, but no way will I hold it while she chews. I mean, I have to set SOME boundaries after all ;).

Smoochable

2011-03-09T17:44:00.000-08:00

Look at that nose! I just wanna smooch it.......*MWAH!*

Space boots

2011-02-23T18:19:00.000-08:00

I finally bought myself winter boots today. It was a choice of ONE pair. Oh, they had lots of winter boots still. Winter boots made of suede with 4 inch heels. The kind of boots that LOOK nice, but are really not made to be worn outside, in the weather and stuff.

These boots are flats and shiny and silver, like spaceman boots. I put them on and tromped around the store while DD pretended not to be with me. I figure if they embarassed her that much......then they are PERFECT! Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaaa!

Perhaps I should find my technicolour knitted coat. Between that and the Space Man Spiff boots, it would be impossible to lose me in the snow! We have a winter camp this week-end with the Brownies and plan on snow-shoeing. I am gonna be the purtiest snow-shoe-er at camp, I'll bet. If the girls will be seen with me ;).

Happy Valentines Day!

2011-02-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

Skywalker

2011-02-10T19:48:00.000-08:00

Pardon the shot down my frontal area. Some quick footage of Skywalker.

I tried to get some video of Skywalker shmoozing DH and licking his nose but I did something wrong and only ended up with a single still shot. Cats have tongues like sandpaper, and when Skywalker gives kisses it feels like you are getting dermabrasion - he presses that hard LOL. It kind of looks like he is biting DH's nose, doesn't it?

Don't worry, no DH's were harmed in the making of this blog posting ;)

Blood work tomorrow

2011-02-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

Ah, I love the smell of alcohol swabs in the morning ;).

I never know if I am supposed to take my night time and morning meds when I am "Fasting". The morning meds can wait until after, but if I had to start fasting at 8:00pm (anticipating the blood draw for 8:00am which is 12 hours) and I go to bed at 10:30pm.........do I take my stuff or not?

There is nothing immediately life threatening that I take at night so it's no big deal and I won't take them just in case. But it would be helpful to know. And I am sure I have asked and gotten the answer, but....like.....am I supposed to remember that answer all. on. my. OWN? *Huff*

Gratuitous Skywalker picture:

Got more snow today

2011-02-05T17:36:00.000-08:00

It started snowing again today. A nicer, fluffier snow....not the frozen pellets blowing around like little needles. I think we got another two inches. DH brought DD and some of her friends skating, and I was expecting them all back for dinner so I made beef stew in the pressure cooker. Boy, did the house smell good! The dogs kept walking through the kitchen, sniffing the air LOL.

Well, there was no snow day.

2011-02-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

At least not for me! Oh well. I got stuck at the bottom of our driveway. But once I was pushed out of that and made it over a drift on the corner, it was pretty smooth sailing.

I had a dickens of a time sleeping last night. I kept waking up cold. The house was fine (heat wise) and I had more than my share of covers. But for some reason I was chilled. Odd, because lately I have night sweats and wake up dripping and overheated. Being as Max wasn't cuddled up to me like a baby monkey, I know for sure the room wasn't just colder than normal. When the bedroom is cold, he gets so close I swear he's trying to absorb right into me LOL.

Then today, I moved spots at work. They are renovating, and some of us have to play musical cubicles every so many weeks. This time though, I will be sharing an office. There was a cart available, and I made use of it. But the distance between the two spots and the need for multiple trips....it didn't take long before my hair was soaked with sweat. I HATE feeling that way in dress clothes, man! I took a bit of a breather and had a cold glass of water, then was immediately chilled to the bone. I still don't feel as though I've warmed up.

It is all very odd....bum bum buuuummmmmmmm! Doctor's appointment next week, and a physical next month. Maybe I'll have him check my thermostat ;).

Will there be a snow day?

2011-02-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Perhaps. All we can do is wait and see. Heck, I won't say no to a day of snuggling on the couch, knitting, and reading on the net.

Note to self - Jan 26 2011

2011-01-26T19:45:00.000-08:00

Remember not to wear slippery dress pants when you have a hair appointment right after work. The chairs there are high, and have leather (vinyl?) upholstery. I spent the whole time under the drawer with one leg stretched out, my toe barely touching the floor, trying to keep from sliding off.

I have been fidgeting here trying to get comfortable. There is a stitch in my side (kind of like you get when you sit sideways for too long, but I haven't been sitting sideways). Just dawned on me that it's probably muscle fatigue from perching on that seat while my colour was setting. My leg will probably be dragging tomorrow - it's such a fancy business look.

Why don't I just weed all the slippery pants out of my wardrobe? Because under normal circumstances my slipperies are a great help. Like when I am getting in and out of the car. No having to lift my other leg onto or off of the seat. Pet hair? No problem. Slippery pants are practically teflon against dog and cat hair and other linty type stuff. And they make a real cool "swsh swsh swsh" when you walk. I like things that make fun noises when I walk.

Slippy pants are easy to put on in the morning while hopping around trying to keep my balance and avoiding landing on a dog paw (or squishing the kitty). I can usually get them up before I fall over....any impedence and there could be a catastrophe involving me landing on my head. Or getting wedged between the hamper and the litter box. *shudder*

So other than not wearing them on hair appointment days (and of course, not wearing them in tandem with slippery undies, which causes a whole batch of OTHER problems) I'll keep them on hand.

Wise calorie counting

2011-01-25T19:14:00.000-08:00

Healthy breakfast (1/2 toasted bagel with 1 tbsp light cream cheese, tea with a touch of skim milk) - CHECK!

Healthy lunch (1/2 cup cooked millet with sauteed mushrooms and onions mixed with two cups of organic baby greens, and a squeeze of lemon juice) - CHECK!

Healthy low calorie snack (1 tiny tangerine, a glass of ice water) - CHECK!

Calorie conscious, filling dinner (low calorie cereal with skim milk) - CHECK!

Final snack.....ice cream float (Dr. Pepper and vanilla ice cream). CHEck........what do you mean that this doesn't fit? Why do you think we suffered all day long? Half a bagel, diet cereal, skim milk?!?!?! Geeze.

Tee hee!

Heart Stealers

2011-01-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

Have you seen anything cuter? "Somebody" wanted on my lap this morning, and was quite dismayed that there was no room. If it had been the newspaper he would have just plopped right on, crumple crumple crumple. But no, it was the lapdesk holding a keyboard.

I moved the lapdesk. That face is impossible to resist!

Sweet Snores

2011-01-16T16:43:00.000-08:00

If you listen carefully, you hear Ruby snore first, then Max. Then Ruby, then Max again. Some mornings it's almost impossible to keep my eyes open while reading the paper. Positively hypnotic.

At night, we have more of a three part chorus that includes DH rofl!

Wordless Friday

2011-01-14T18:19:00.000-08:00

Welcome, Skywalker!

2010-11-30T12:38:00.000-08:00

We were heartbroken about losing Jasmine. But we knew that we had so much love to give, and there were so many kitties without homes. We spent time with a few candidates before this kitty chose DD. Literally. He claimed her. She kept looking at the baby baby kittens and he insisted that he was the one she was looking for, even though he was a bit older. And who can argue with those blue eyes?

Skywalker came from the Humane Society. We were surprised to see him there, a flame point siamese. No idea how anybody could give him up. He is loving and wonderful and adorable and hilarious and soft like a cotton ball. In fact, I often hold him like a baby and tell him in a baby voice that he is a cotton ball. If he is bitey, I say he is a mean old cotton ball, and yell "The cotton ball bites!". If he is purring and lovey I say he is a widdle wovable cotton ball.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Of course, the house is trashed because everything is a toy and he climbs like a monkey. He cannot stand to see a picture frame standing on any surface. Not sure what I did to deserve another being in this house that feels the tea towels belong on the FLOOR and not on the handle of the stove. At least the others don't SWING on said towels before pulling them to the floor, then dash away like the hounds of hell are chasing behind.

Skywalker is a kisser, too. Kiss kiss kiss, purr purr purr, and he says "yummy yummy yummy" while he eats :). A talker, just like Jasmine. Actually, more than her because he will talk to the other animals when there are no people in the room. He has complete conversations with Ruby, although she mostly sits and looks around nervously while he does all the talking. Max adores him. They play together, and Max would lick the kitty's ears right off if we would let him.

Xena? Well. Xena has taken over the closet and pretty much won't let Skywalker look at her. Not that he cares. He tromps through as fast as he can before she can swat him LOL.

Now if we can just get him to stop begging for food.

Good-bye dear babies

2010-10-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

We lost two of our furry friends last night.

The older of our cats, Jasmine, has not been well. We were hoping to have her a little longer, but last night I could tell that she was ready to move on. This picture is from a few years ago before she started with her health problems.

She was a cuddle bunny, and loved to have conversations for as long as you would listen and answer back. Her claim to fame was digging to china in the litter box. One of her favourite things was to sit on your lap, headbutt your hand, knead your leg, and drool all over you while purring like a maniac.

Jasmine could find the lone chicken bone in the middle of a stuffed garbage bag, and extract it with the skill of a surgeon. She loved straws and elastic bands (contraband!). Often you could find her perched on the foot stool in the kitchen watching the goings on, like a lion in the circus waiting for the tamer to crack his leathery whip. She often spoke the name "Raoul". We aren't sure who you are, Raoul, but Jasmine told us all about you.

We loved you, kitkit. And you will be missed.

Dazzle? well Dazzle had NOT been sick. She did not look hurt or damaged in any way. Just curled up in her little corner among her "hidden" piles of corn and sunflower seeds. She looked like she just went off to peaceful sleep, curled up, and adorable as ever.

We called her "Dazzle the Ninja Hamster of Death" because of her ability to dangle from the top of her cage and make her way from one end to the other, before dropping down on her platform and ambush the food dish. She loved pumpkin seeds ("pun tin teeds"), dried corn ("corms"), and especially dehydrated banana chips. She came when she was called, liked to climb on her pal Jasmine when given the chance, and was the light of our DD's life for the short time she was here.

We were better for having known her.

Heaven on a plate!

2010-08-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try something a little different (to suit my tastes) while still somewhat familiar (to keep DH and DD from running screaming away from the dinner table). I also wanted to use up some ingredients in the fridge, ingredients that I don't generally have on hand but had leftover from other things.

I hodge-podged a few ideas together from recipes I've seen on the net or on cooking shows. Did it turn out? DH licked his plate, and DD went for seconds even though there was TOMATO in the sauce. Something this successful just BEGS to be shared:

Penne with Blush Sauce

3 slices bacon, chopped
1 pound mixed ground turkey and chicken
Onion powder to taste
Garlic powder to taste
1/2 tsp italian seasoning (mixed dried herbs)
Freshly ground black pepper
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 can tomato sauce
1 cup whipping cream (which is Canadian for Heavy Cream)

In a saute pan, cook the bacon until the fat renders and it is crispy. Remove bacon bits from the pan and set aside.

Add the ground meat and brown it, breaking it up with a spoon. Add the garlic and onion powders, italian seasoning, and some pepper. Stir to combine. Add the balsamic vinegar. Stir and cook until the vinegar evaporates.

Add the tomato sauce and stir well. Bring to a simmer, and allow to simmer for about 5 minutes (careful, it spits!). Stir in the cream, mixing well. It can simmer until your pasta is ready, but don't boil it. Taste for seasoning (I waited for the end because bacon is salty, and sometimes the tomato sauce can be as well). Serve over hot cooked penne, sprinkling with some of the crispy bacon bits.

DH added moza-cheddar mixed cheeses to his, DD ate it cheeseless, and I plated it with steamed broccoli and grated pecorino pepata (a sheeps milk cheese with peppercorns). I think any firm grating cheese would go well on this...romano, parmisan, ricotta salata. The ground turkey/chicken was excellent, but sliced browned chicken would be great. Oooh, or a chicken breast that has been grilled and then sliced. Heck, I would make it without the meat, use a real onion and garlic, add sliced mushrooms, and serve it over broccoli and cauliflower - with or without the pasta!

As for the fact that it contains that cup of cream and that bacon? Oh hush. I drink skim milk. Give me a break on this one, 'kay?

Guacamole Coma

2010-08-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

It seemed like a good idea at the time. The whole bowl. Sure, it was only one avacado worth. And MAN was it good. One avacado, cubed. 1/2 tbs of mixed lemon and lime juice. 1 tbs of sour cream. And 1 1/2 tbsp of a guacamole seasoning mix. Stir, chill, then eat.

Every so often I hiccup seasoning mix. *Groan*. I guess I should have shared. Not that my darling husband nor daughter would ever deign to eat something so green. I bet Max and Ruby would have enjoyed a sample, but I think I read somewhere that avacadoes are toxic to animals. So it was mine, Mine, MINE! *hiccup*

Blech. Seasoning mix.

Future Therapist Bill

2010-08-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

DD's best friend moved away some months ago. Their house had been rented out, but that went awry, so they came back to clean the place and ready it for selling. We had her over one night, and the next DD spent over there.

They found a brown caterpillar in the yard. Knowing it would not survive a 6 hour drive in a car with no air-conditioning, DD decided to bring it home. She was sort of invested because it was her FRIEND'S caterpillar, you see? After a good luck I had to inform the dear child that it was a cut worm. No beautiful butterfly was going to emerge from this thing.

DD was afraid to have it in her room while she slept, and afraid to leave it in another room lest it get out and a dog or cat make a snack of it. While I was trying to convince her it would be more fair to "return it to the wild", she dropped the container. Twigs, grass pieces, leaves, everything went flying. She was PANICKING, because Max was coming over and would surely slurp the poor thing up. "So pick it up!" I said. "I don't want to touch it!".

I move the chair to get a better look where the container dumped so I could get the thing, and wouldn't you know it? Ran the thing over with my chair.

It was quite a scene...DD sobbing hysterically, me apologizing profusely while trying to hide horrified laughter, and DH diligently insisting that this pile of squishy goo was perfectly fine and not hurt at all. "Some worms can be cut right in half, and both ends can live". Perhaps this man has a lazerus machine somewhere that I don't know about, because the poor thing didn't have an inside, an outside, or a middle left - never mind ENDS.

Apparently not a fan

2010-06-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

> Cutting watermelon for the kids, I offered a small bit to each dog.
> Max ate his, then waited for more.
>
> Ruby sniffed hers, then turned her head. I offered it to her
> again. She looked up at me and gagged loudly. Then she sniffed a
> bit of juice that dripped on the floor and gagged again.
> Dramatically. She even made a face when she did it. It made me
> giggle.
>
> So. She can eat bugs, sock lint, litter box crunchies, and
> underwear. Watermelon however? Offensive. Interesting, no?
>
> Sent from my iPod

Radish for your thoughts

2010-05-24T17:11:00.000-07:00

Ahhh radishes. Is there anything tastier than the first radishes of the season? Well, how about the radish TOPS? That's right. You can eat'em.

Raw in salads is an option, but frankly, I find them too picky for that. Cooked though? They lose all their pickiness when cooked. Not a fan of cooked greens by themselves, I do like them in other things. Sliced and simmered in soup (not as slimy as spinach and have an interesting meaty texture). Creamed in a sauce (over smashed potatoes....heaven!). Excellent in a cheesy quiche.

But for something simple and satisfying, pureed soup is the ticket. Green soup. Soup as green as spring. How can a person be depressed looking at such a bright green? Add some fresh crusty bread and good butter, and man oh man you got nirvana. Top that bread and butter with thinly sliced radishes and a pinch of salt and it just might be too much to handle. And just think. You were going to toss those leaves in the compost bin.

I use a recipe that abounds on the internet:

Sweat an onion in butter until translucent (I add a bit of olive oil to keep the butter from burning, and if you have a couple of bunches of spring onions, that is even better than the diced onion). Wash your radish tops well (they are usually quite gritty) and pick out any withered or excessively insect damaged leaves. A few flea beetle holes are fine. I chop through the pile a couple of times just to get smaller pieces, but it really isn't necessary.

Add the leaves to the onion, and stir. Allow to cook and steam a bit until the leaves wilt (it doesn't take long, and soon the gigantic pile looks like almost nothing). You can add some diced potato now. Add four cups of chicken or vegetable broth.

Bring to a simmer, and simmer until everything is tender. I usually skip the raw potato and add leftover mashed potatoes at this time. Stir to distribute and bring up to temperature with the rest of the ingredients - it makes for a better texture. Let cool a bit and blend in batches until smooth. Place back in the pot, and bring back up to temperature. You can add some cream now, but I prefer to leave it out and add it to my bowl. It reheats better this way. Taste for seasoning.

It kind of reminds me of cream of spinach mixed with cream of broccoli, with a slight bitter edge (the cream tames most of this bitterness). You can add cream or milk, I have used soy milk, soy creamer, and unsweetened almond milk and all were good. I bet sour cream would be good for a tangier version, maybe mixed with some sorrel?

For a sweeter soup I could forsee adding some fresh or frozen peas to the mix. To make it milder, some spinach or other greens. Why not toss in whatever veggies you have on hand? Maybe some herbs? A good base to be tinkered with, I do believe.

Cough cough, hack hack!

2010-04-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those coughs that starts as a tickle at the top of your lungs? Makes your eyes water and your voice break? Then you cough and it sounds horrifying but it just does not satisfy. When you try to take a breath, it starts you coughing even harder. Between the coughing and the gasping and the eyes watering and the nose running, it's a wonder people aren't pulling their shirts up around their faces and avoiding me like the plague.

Silly people. Don't know what's good for 'em.

I've been sleeping propped up, because if I lie down I feel like I am drowning. Every coughing fit during the night, Max "harumphs" and changes his position. I think at one point he was kicking me to get me to stop. I can tell the noise bothers Ruby too, because I can hear her concerned snort in the dark. Oh, I don't think she is worried about ME per se, but rather she hears a strange noise and is concerned it might be something scary coming to get her.

I had gotten some prescription cough medicine, but when Ruby starting talking to me I realized it might not be sitting well with me (I mean really talking. Her little lips were moving, and she was telling me all sorts of things) . That was traded for your basic, off-the-shelf cough medicine. Which I will only take at night. I figure if my body seems to want to get something out of there so bad, who am I to try and stop it? I just wish it would JUMP OUT already.

Could you imagine? Sitting in the middle of a meeting, having a coughing fit, and a big lump of boogie coloured evil comes jumping out and lands on the table? For some reason I then picture it doing a short soft-shoe number, ending with "jazz hands" before giving us a salute and escaping into an air duct. Hey, it's my evil and it can dance if it wants to.

*Cough*

Some things I learned just today:

2010-03-30T11:54:00.000-07:00

A dog that fakes a bathroom trip because the grass is frosty will poop in the house while you are in the shower.
Both dogs will look guilty even though clearly only a certain dog is the culprit.
You will question your normalcy after you realize you can distinguish between dogs by their poo.
Just because a person smiles and nods when you ask if they understand, it does NOT mean they understand.
Blueberry Muffin Shredded Wheat makes a great tasting snack munched dry at your desk. However your innards will make strange noises for the rest of the day, alerting the rest of the office that you upped your fiber intake.
When a person bounces a key off your forehead in anger, it leaves a red mark you don't see until the next day. Oddly enough, this red mark is not key-shaped.
If you put mixed Easter chocolate in a candy dish on your desk, people will dig out the peanut butter cups first.
Then the fudge filled bunnies.
Then the pure chocolate eggs.
Office workers desperate for an afternoon sugar high WILL resort to eating the "Chocolate Bunny Munny Krispee Coins", but they will sigh deeply and look punished.
Grown adults will peel foil off of chocolate easter candies and leave them in little piles on the desk, filing cabinet, or even put them back in the candy jar.

Scritch Scritch Scratch

2010-02-18T19:19:00.000-08:00

I keep getting this odd rash on the inside of my elbows, and now in the middle of my back. Right between the shoulder blades, precisely where I cannot scratch it myself. I have been daydreaming about those bamboo back scratchers (that look like a hand on a stick) they used to sell in discount stores. Now THAT would work perfectly! I have resorted to trying a chopstick (does not work), and rubbing my back on a door frame like a bear. Not. Helping.

I am sure that people must think I am an intervenous drug user, because I am constantly scratching my arms. Sometimes I sort of cross them and scratch the insides of both elbows at the same time. Between that and my other twitches (running my hands through my hair, rubbing my eyes, rubbing the outside of my arm, and massaging my leg absentmindedly) I would appear an unsavory character indeed.

It's not hives. It kind of reminds me of prickly heat, only it doesn't come on from being warm or anything. And I can't imagine what I am touching with the inside of my elbows and the middle of my back. It can appear, itch intensely for a couple of hours, and then just as quickly receed. Sometimes at home, sometimes at work. Long sleeves, short sleeves, fabric softener, no fabric softener, pure soap or laundry soap.

Maybe the universe is trying to send me a message. I'm off to examine the inside of my elbows for "patterns in the chaos" of the raised bumps. Maybe I will see something spelled out in there. Or perhaps I will find symbols, kind of like reading tea leaves. Or maybe I just need to go to bed because I am getting silly.

Only time will tell.

Oh, that was yucky!

2010-02-17T14:16:00.000-08:00

While making dinner, I was transferring things back and forth from the fridge. Stupid me left the door open as I walked back and forth. Lately these two puggin-muggins think they can help themselves in there - ever since they realized the open bag of baby carrots "lives" on the bottom shelf. So there he was, helping himself and browsing around. I came around the door, saw his rumpus where it shouldn't be, and called his name. Immediately he booked it!

He knew he got something he wasn't supposed to have, so better get scarce before I take it away. I followed him, scolding, but I had no idea what he got. His head was down and he was facing away from me. I finally got him to stop and look at me (used my "mommy voice, I did).

What the heck??? He had slime dripping from the edges of his mouth, just hanging there. Then ploop! Out comes a glob of yellow, splat onto the floor. EGG YOLK! He got a raw egg! Silly thing, bit down too hard trying to make a quick get away LOL. A person would think he had some awful disease, the way he looked...long strings of egg white hanging from the corners and yellow yolk drooling out over his chin. Blech! I got it away from him pretty easily (what a mess!), and Ruby helped him clean up whatever had dripped on the ground before I could get there with a paper towel. I think she might have helped clean off his chin too ;).

Just as an aside, tearing off the cover of the egg carton and tossing it (it had something sticky spilled on it) makes it easy for a fridge-raiding pug to steal eggs later on.

Bad, Bad Mommy

2010-01-27T16:13:00.000-08:00

DD has been home sick all week. Bad cough, and a low grade fever. She is in the office doing crafts at the other desk. I am in the office because I am doing some work.

Every time she coughs and hacks, the good-mommy part of me wants to gather her in my arms and cradle her and make her feel all better.

The bad-mommy half wants to run screaming to gargle and snort bleach lest I catch the plague she harbours at the moment.

If I tell her "go wash your hands" one more time, she is going to develop a complex. Poor thing. Poor poor germy plagu-ey thing.

Pardon me. I have to go wash my hands. *got the itchy cootie feeling all over now*

Orange Season

2010-01-25T16:07:00.000-08:00

You know those chocolate oranges that are like wedges wrapped together in a ball with foil? You whack it against something to separate the pieces so you can eat them.

DD got one for christmas and liked it so much that somebody gave her another one. Somehow it got left in a bag and placed on the living room floor under the piano. Now, we won't discuss the state of housekeeping that allows a bag to be placed under the piano and not noticed for days at a time, got it?

Ruby is the master chocolatier in this house. She can sniff a crumb of the good stuff from two rooms away. I can't so much as eat a chocolate chip without her insisting on immediately smelling my breath and checking me all over in case I might be harbouring a chipit on my person. Every time she has gotten into something food wise, it has been chocolate. Ruined a couch with individually wrapped, caramel filled chocolate bunnies. Wallowed in a container of fudge. We are talking fudge between the pug toes, in the ears, smooshed into the nose wrinkle. Ate an entire plate of chocolate chip cookies. Her stomach was so bloated she had to lie on her side, and would toot so loud and powerful that her back legs kicked out. We are very thankful that - other than a sleepless night of panting with an upset and very full tummy - she has suffered no ill effects from these instances. Needless to say we have learned to be VERY careful about leaving chocolate where she might get it.

Turns out, she does not like ORANGE flavoured chocolate. In fact, she can't even bear the smell and will turn her head with a pronounced "mmmph!" when she encounters the substance. We discovered this when she objected to DD's orange scented breath one night. DD giggled and offered her a sniff of the wedge, and nearly rolled off the couch laughing when she got the disgruntled snorf of rejection LOL.

But guess who does NOT hate orange flavoured chocolate? Max, that's who. And he's sneaky about it, too. We never knew he had done anything until DD saw the bag and remembered about the chocolate, and found this:

How do we know it was THIS pug:

And not THIS one?

When we found the evidence, Max got all droopy and crawled across the floor on his belly ROFL! The box was dry, so who knows when he actually did it. Silly thing.

Ewwwwwwww! That's a lot of dog licks, to do THAT damage. Blech!

Taking a deep breath

2010-01-09T20:36:00.000-08:00

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Not exactly yogic breathing, but pretty close. Except I have a bit of a cold, and one nostril is not working properly. If I were to do that thing where you plug a nostril with the opposite hand and breathe through only one I just might smother accidentally.

I have not blogged in quite some time, I see. Not intentional. Not due to neglect. I assure you, not due to lack of love or anything. It is the wiring in my brain, messing with me again. I have known something was wrong these past few months, but not sure what and not sure what to do about it. My attitude over christmas solidified it for me though, something was definitely broken and needed fixing.

Let me put it this way. I haven't been feeling "myself" for a while now. I thought I was just busy. Stress at work (end of year projects). Stress at home. A cold here. A sinus infection there. A pinch of ear infection on top of that. MIL madness. A death in the family. Was it any wonder I was a little run down?

But now I know there is more to it than that. And I am working on it. So. More bloggings to come, okay?

Eating us out of house and home

2009-11-30T15:06:00.000-08:00

The lovely child that lives in this house must be about the have the biggest friggen growth spurt ever. Either that or she is about to split via mitosis, like a cell. Perhaps budding is a possibility, although I am pretty sure I have no bacteria nor coral on my side of the family. She has been eating non-stop.

To the point of waking up in the middle of the night and asking if she can have a bowl of cereal! Mama is not happy when she is woken in the middle of the night and asked if cereal eating is allowed. No sirree bob.

It ranks right up there with being roused rudely awake and informed said child is going to the bathroom (okay, why do I need to be informed of this exactly?). Sometimes she or her father will wake me to point out something one of the animal residents has created in another room. Once DD woke me by slapping me hard on the arm and exclaiming "There is a chicken wing on the floor!". Not the best way to learn the cats had raided the garbage bag in the middle of the night. Wouldn't it have been better - just suppose - to be gently roused by the sounds of family cleaning up the mess? In my dreams....in my dreams. Sigh.

Back to the locust that is currently pacing in the kitchen waiting for more food to materialize out of thin air. This is not the first time this has happened. It is a pattern we recognize right from the time she was a tiny babe in my arms. One minute she wants to eat her weight, then next minute none of her sleepers fit. She has grown right out of the middle of her clothes before too. The length of the pants? Fine. The length of the sleeves? Fine. But the shirt and pants no longer touched in the middle. Other times she has gone from having to roll up her sleeves to see her fingertips, to ripping the shoulder seams trying to pull the cuff down to meet her wrist. Monday her pants are fine, Tuesday the same pants seem to predicting a horrible flood.

Another thing we notice is that she will get really clumsy just before or during this growth rush. During the last few days she has managed to bump just about every part of her body on something, even when standing still. And walk? Forget it. I would wrap her in bubble wrap but she would outgrow it before I could finish.

I want to go upstairs and make myself a tea, but I am a bit scared she might think I have food and mug me. Maybe if I turn all the lights on as I go and you hold my hand.........

Happy Haunting!

2009-10-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

I ran out of time when making these costimes, so had to use yarn to tie them on instead of sewing on proper bands and things. But for a couple of bucks worth of felt they turned out pretty darn cute!

Ruby was THRILLED to wear her costume. Every time I tried it on to fit it, she would wag her curly little tail and jump up to give me kisses and snottings. Somehow I managed to put her "zombie wounds" too far back. The way I split it so that her tail wasn't bothered made it fit funny (which happens when you are shaped like a potato bug). People kept wanting to call her a LADYBUG. Sheesh.

Max sat so nicely for all his fittings (he is such a good boy) but had no idea what was going on in general. It's his first halloween with us, and I don't know if they had trick or treaters where he was before. I passed out candy from in the yard with the dogs, because Max would cry and whine if I sat on the porch (and Ruby wanted to sit on my lap anyway). Since he barked his fool head off and charged the fence like a dog with rabies, he played the killer zombie dog part to perfection. I am working on him to become better at meeting people.

There were a few new things to add to the display this year (works in progress as far as how to display them). Made from styrofoam heads which I painted, then applied paper masks using instructions and printouts from here.

There is the rotating demon head:

And the two grave escapers. The heads are taped onto bowls, with "umble ball" dog toys under them. The whole thing sits in a cardboard water bottle case as a base. As the bumble balls hit the sides of the bowl, they move around and jerk back and forth. Kind of kitchy and twitchy and looked cool covered in leaves (which promptly blew away - very windy tonight). Next year these will be refined by replacing the garbage bags with shirts and so on. Not bad for a first trial though, for under ten bucks each including the garbage bags.

And just to end the evening, gratuitous shrunken baby head photo.

Frankie the Crooner has left the mortal coil.

2009-10-14T08:41:00.001-07:00

Good-bye dearest Frankie.

You were a good bird. You didn’t sing much at the end, but you still enjoyed your apples and greens, and gave me a good harassing when I was slow filling your dish in the morning. You bit the hell out of me every time I touched you, but I loved you all the same.

You will be missed.

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye

2009-08-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

For reasons known only to pugs, Max decided to have a wild hair today, and foraged in DD's room while we were out. From the bed covered in about two tonnes of stuffed animals, he chose DD's favourite (favourite at the moment, anyway). From the looks of the poor porcupine webkin, it's head was sucked on and the right eye was definitely chewed off and presumably eaten. Poor, poor Marshmallow. What did she ever do to deserve such rough treatment? Thank goodness the carnage ended there.

I managed to dry DD's tears with a promise of finding a button or something to repair poor Marshmallow with, and explaining that Max really doesn't understand the difference between HER toys and HIS toys, and he didn't mean to hurt her feelings. The whole time he looked awfully guilty and sulked around her, trying to lick her tears and lay on her lap. Eventually she forgave him.

Fast forward to bedtime, and DD is very tired. Daycamp takes it right out of her, plus she played outside a long time and had a swim. She looked Marshmallow over, trying to judge if the poor thing is too contaminated with doggie spit to still cuddle with while sleeping. She gasped, then started crying. The kind of gut wrenching sobs that make you want to sell your soul, if only you could make them stop....make whatever is making her feel this way go away forever.

It seems Marshmallow the porcupine is missing the same eye that Sparkle had trouble with. Open the floodgates for memories and sad feelings over Sparkle the wonderful hamster that we had to put to sleep. What are the odds???? Is the universe trying to tell us something? Is the spirit of Sparkle the wonder hamster reaching out to communicate with us from 'beyond'?

Nah. Max just didn't have enough time to eat the other eye. Note to self: make an effort to close DD's door when we leave the house.

Indian food - 1, DancesInGarden - 0

2009-08-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

I probably did not mention it here, but I had cleaned the microwave. And yes, it WAS a big deal because the microwave was disgusting and cleaning it was a trip and a half. It was such a feat that even DH mentioned I should blog that I finished it ROFL.

Well. We have been doing really well and not 'sploding food in there. WERE doing well. And I was the one that broke the clean streak, which makes it hurt all the worse. I can't even yell at anybody else for doing it.

See, I had this package of indian food (a chickpea tomatoey stew with potatoes and onions). Shelf stable, just toss in the microwave and serve over rice. Easy peasy, basmati rice takes only about 10 minutes and I had dinner right quick. Put the bowl containing the stew in the microwave, set it for a conservative amount of time (my microwave is gianormous and way strong, so I always have to lower times on packages) and took a quick skip to the loo. By the time I got back, the rice was done resting and the microwave had beeped.

I opened the door, took a moment, then gasped loud enough to make DH and DD come running.

Of course, once I was able to exhale I let out a bray of laughter that scared both dogs. Ruby did the cartoon run on the linoleum floor before taking off grunting into the living room, and Max was so spooked he ran full speed into the glass patio door trying to get outside. This did not help me at ALL. I laughed so hard that I hyperventilated. DH and DD thought I was a looney before, but now they know for SURE.

What makes it even worse than it being MY mess? The food wasn't all that great. It had too much chili in it so it was very bitter. I have a disgusting, stinky mess to clean, and it wasn't even a good meal. I think I should stick with cereal and soy milk for dinner.

Summer for Dinner

2009-07-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight for dinner I had fresh corn on the cob, a cucumber from the garden (sliced and salted and peppered perfectly), some leftover marinated beans from lunch made with beans and radishes from the garden, and four organic plums from the farmer's market. DH and DD said it didn't look like much so I added five kalamata olives and a piece of garlic bread ROFL.

The only missing thing that would have made it perfect was a ripe, garden tomato. Sigh. Oh, I HAVE tomatoes in the garden. Several. However, ripening seems to be the last thing on their mind. They sprawl, the unripe fruits weigh down the branches and I stake them yet again, but no ripening yet. I did manage to eat one red and one yellow cherry tomato. Truth be told, they weren't quite ready yet but I was desparate!

Every night I go out to check for beans and feel up the corn cobs, and do the "ripen ripen ripen" chant over them as I dance around in true whacko fashion. Then I poke through the radish patch to see if any are the right size and get picked to death. All this time Ruby and Max are right with me. Ruby pokes around the garden but is largely of no consequence. She is just there for company, really. Max? Max picks beans and eats them, bites off the pea flowers, strips leaves from the corn stalks, samples the parsley, pulls and eats the leaves from the radishes (even the picky ones!) and will pull up a radish or two to play with on the patio.

He doesn't try to eat them anymore though. These are really hot and quite bitter right from the garden. He ate half of one once, then came barreling over and hid behind me, foaming at the mouth and looking quite sad. What can I say, he's a goofball.

Remember my loverly dirt? Well this is what it looks like now.My style of gardening is called "intensive". Using small spaces and packing things in to make best use of the space. Sure, it looks like chaos and there are no nice, clean rows nor areas of bare dirt with picturesque plants in between. But it takes best advantage of the space you have and works with the growing cycles and seasons of different things. For example, there are carrots planted in a row right between the two rows of corn. Yes, they grow slower because they are essentially shaded right now. However, once the corn is harvested (soon, actually) they will suddenly be in the sunlight, and can grow to their hearts content. I am not looking for baby spring carrots, I want bigger cooking carrots here.

I plant things closer together than usually recommended, with the idea that I can eat the "thinnings" as the patch grows, making room for the plants that are left to fill that void. For example, I start picking beets here and there when they are tiny (for the leaves), then when they are ping pong ball size. Some will be left to fill those gaps and become bigger. Onions and leeks work the same. "Thin" for green onions and baby leeks, then again for slightly bigger spring onions, and so on leaving some to get mature and full sized. No waste that way as well.

Does it look like a jungle? Yes. Is it harder to weed? Sometimes, depending on your trouble weeds. Some weeds are discouraged and shaded out, others still manage to get in there. The bindweed is impossible to keep up with this year, and I see in two days it has completely taken over my clump of chives (bottom right). Bother.

Clearly a bad decision

2009-07-08T15:04:00.000-07:00

I know not to eat an entire pint of blueberries while working at my desk. I know that it seems like a good idea while those ripe little buggers are popping one by one in my mouth, but that later there is always a price to pay. I know these things. And yet, I laugh in the face of that knowledge more regularly than I care to admit.

Guess what I did today? And guess what I will be doing tonight? You can bet it doesn't include leaving the house at any point lest I get caught in a moment of intestinal distress while stranded in traffic.

We won't talk about the perfectly ripe local strawberries that were two containers for five dollars and needed to be eaten right away and I am the only one that eats them here. Why do I do this to myself??? Eh. It was worth it. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaa!

There is just no pleasing me.

2009-06-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

Like that is news to anybody here, right? Tee hee!

The weather has turned quite hot, and we had to concede defeat and turn on the air. Sleeping was getting hard (I hate being hot and stuffy when I try to sleep) and the dogs were starting to suffer. Pugs need cool and that is that.

Now, I sweat outside and I freeze inside. We have the temp set at a sensible level, not like a deep freeze. But while I don't really like the heat, I can't handle air conditioning either. So here I sit - while it is hot enough to fry eggs outside - with long pants, socks, and a sweater on. DH asked if I wanted him to make it cooler because he still finds it a little warm. If he turns it down any more, I might need a parka and a quilt.

Completely unrelated, but every day when I come home from work, this is what is waiting for me in the yard. Aren't they cuties?

Please explain to me

2009-06-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

Please explain to me what taking a shower has to do with dancing around the bathroom wearing high heels? Because the child that is supposed to be doing the former is actually doing the latter. And unless she can prove a solid relationship between the two, her ass is grass.

Max keeps finding Polly Pocket and Littlest Pet Shop shoes. They are tiny and rubber and he walks around chewing them loudly like bubble gum. If I look directly at him, he stops chewing and stands there with his mouth closed, trying to look nonchallant. One of the best things to teach a dog is "spit it out". 'Drop it' is fine for toys are larger objects, but "Spit it out" is invaluable when they have small things in their mouths that you can't just pull out. He usually does spit them out, but begrudgingly. And within moments he comes back with yet another one. It's like the loaves and the fishes, without the inspirational message. Or the annoying never-ending-hankerchief trick.....but with more dog spit. If he keeps this up, his ass is grass.

Ruby has decided that nobody on this street is allowed to do ANYTHING. No getting in and out of cars, cutting grass, going for walks or riding bikes, and for heaven's sake - don't you dare rollerblade! She has been staring out the patio door and barking non-stop since dinnertime. It is getting on my nerves. Buff. Buff. Bow wow woowrrooooooo! If she doesn't stop, her ass is grass.

Maybe I just like saying "ass is grass".

Mmmm mmmmm Soup!

2009-06-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

I know it is not quite soup weather, but I like a nice vegetable soup for lunch on a work day. It's quick, filling, and comforting on a busy day. Tonight I am simmering some onions, leeks (from the garden, yay!), turnip, carrot, mushrooms, radish leaves (thinnings from the garden), herbs (parsley, rosemary, thyme, basil, and sage all from the garden) and a mixture of vegetable and mushroom stock. Oh, and barley. I love barley. I might toss in some spinach leaves when it is done, they will cook from the residual heat.

Tips of tarragon were a temptation, but I was worried the licorice flavour would not blend well with the mushrooms and veggies. Another time, maybe. For sure in my salad tomorrow. I nibbled a few and they are succulent and sweet. I am thinking romaine, spinach, sweet onion, and orange sections along with tarragon tips and a light citrus vinagrette. Mmmmmmm.

Well, a bit more simmering and I am off to bed. *YAWN*

Have you met Dazzle?

2009-06-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

No, I don't believe I have introduced Dazzle. After Sparkle was put to sleep, we knew we had to get another hamster. She is friendly, but not nearly as easy to pick up as Sparkle. When she sees your hand coming, she takes a run for it. And is she FAST. But once you have her, she is fine and even seems to enjoy it. She has had her share of adventures already, and we haven't had her long. This last time, we knew she had been out for a while and I figured we couldn't hear her rustling around because she had gone to sleep somewhere. I found her curled up in a kleenex box (under the tissues, mind you) at the bottom of DD's bookcase, hidden under some books and a paper towel.

Isn't she cute?

Wanna see mah dirt?

2009-05-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

Here it is. My dirt. Isn't it loverly? You can't see it yet, but there are beans and peas and corn, carrots and beets and radishes. Those limp bleached out looking things lost in the farthest right hand bed? Yeah, those would be shocky tomato plants. Who knew heirlooms were such sissies about a little scorching heat then damp cold? Along the back is a gianormous rhubarb plant, then some unruly asparagus, and a coddled ginko tree that is starting to outgrow it's spot. The poor thing wasn't even supposed to live, and there it is taking over the world, starting with the corner of the garden! Although it does hide the view of the junk tossed behind the shed.

The dogs haven't come to terms with the fact that this is MY dirt, and not theirs.

You can see snippets of the patio DH just put in for me, a place where I can sit and look at the garden while DD swims in the pool. There wasn't a good place to sit before, that was close enough to really keep an eye on things. He even made a path all the way from the side patio to the back patio. It's funny to watch the dogs, they love to follow the path. Pugs are a little bit OCD. Maybe that's why I love them so much ROFL.

I love columbine. Don't you?

I tried to take even more garden photos, but this odd black blur kept appearing in all of them. I wonder what it might be. Hmmmmmm.

(Here's a little hint)

Madder than a wet hen

2009-05-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

I know there are days in every marriage when a person thinks "I don't know if I can put up with this". And I know I have had more than my own fair share of those moments, being as I am self-centered, anxiety ridden, and the instant-gratification queen. But today? I am ready to compost him today.

He has been a miserable ass all day. He told DD she could have a friend sleep over, then has been a bear. Miserable about cooking them dinner (you wanna eat meat? You cook it). Miserable, yet offers to take them for ice cream. Insists that I go "for the ride" - which apparently means "so I can pay". DD asked for a banana split twister thingy, I said NO. DH said 'sure, why not?' then was pissed off when she found pineapple in it and refused to eat it. Then he was MORE pissed off that he gave up his own sundae to her, and almost lost his mind when she took two bites, then SPIT BACK INTO THE BOWL and said she couldn't eat it because there were nuts on it. Her friend did not like her sundae aither (she claims she did not know 'hot fudge' meant chocolate - which she does not like). So now he is upstairs pouting, and I am out almost $15.00 for ice cream nobody ate.

The girls accurately guessed my feelings for their little games and decided to go for a bike ride. All day I have been trying to mind my own business and do the things I planned. I weeded the garden beds and prepared the back for planting. I shopped for a few plants I needed and some fill in stuff for the garden. I cooked my own dinner on the crappy back burner we both hate to use and ate out of a bowl because we have no plates (these two use a big plate for every darn thing, then act surprised when there are no plates clean for dinner).

What do I get for my trouble? My car was parked on the road while DH hosed off the pool cover. Somebody scraped my car from stem to stern, all down the drivers side. DH is acting all "big deal, it's just a scratch". And friends, at that moment, when he said those words, I wanted to hurt him.

I am going to lie on the floor now and calm down.

Blah.

2009-04-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Rainy grey blah day. DD and I were discussing how fortunate it was for the robins, who LOVE to eat worms, that the rain makes the worms come out. And it is especially rainy in the spring, right when the robins need the most worms to feed their babies. Kind of cool, that. Of course, it would be better if it didn't involve rainy gray blah days and everything smelling like wet worms.

I would also appreciate if somebody would tell these pugs that they are DOGS and not robins, and have no need to slurp up the bloated worms on the patio like buccatini. Wormy smelling outside the house, and pugs with worm breath inside the house. Plus the aroma of wet dog is not exactly enticing.

Dry pugs smell like socks and fritos. Wet pugs just smell like wet dog. With worm breath. Pew!

Did you ever think you would willingly read anything containing the word "worm" so many times? Worm worm wormy worm worm.

My work is done here.

WORM!

Happy Easter, and a belated good-bye

2009-04-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

Hope everybody had a relaxing easter. DD and I made bread. We coloured easter eggs, and had our own little breakfast with kabasa and raisin bread and egg fights. Sunday I made dinner for the three of us....a small ham, mashed potatoes, and creamed peas. Done my parents proud, for sure ROFL. It was low-key, but nice. I didn't get to escape the in-laws entirely, we met them for dessert on Sunday night. You know, so they could tell me how I ruined their easter because we didn't go out to Swiss Chalet for dinner and so on. The usual ;).

As for the belated good-bye. Right before march break, Sparkle the hamster developed a "squinky eye". It got bad real fast. In fact, her appointment was the day after we noticed it, and we got anti-biotics (drops for the eye and liquid to give her) but it didn't seem to be doing any good. I was basically doing surgery on her eye every night to clean it out, and it was not looking good. Her other eye started to look funny, not a good sign. So we brought her into the emergency vet to take a look. He cleaned her up and gave us an honest assessment. She might last another day, but the infection was not getting better. So we put her to sleep. Poor guy. There he was in a room full of people all teary eyed over a hamster. We still really miss her. Funny how something so small could become so beloved.

When we got back from Spring vacation, we went and let DD pick out a new hamster. Her name is Dazzle. No pictures yet, she is notoriously difficult to photograph. And while she is friendly, she is not fond of being picked up. Kind of hurts the heart, when you want so bad to be able to kiss and hold her like Sparkle, who was very tame. But she is adorable even still and we all like her. Except she hisses at the dog and scares the crap out of us when she does it. I have NEVER heard something so small make such a scary noise ROFLMAO!

Now. About this weather. I am not sure who I should talk to regarding this, but we have had enough of this now. It looks warm and sunny and spring like and the birds are chirping and daffodils are blooming and so on. But step outside and WHAM! The cold hits you like a brick. What the freak?!?!?! I find it offensive to have to wear my winter coat when it looks so nice outside. What kind of trick is this? My asparagus is up and has been stalled at an inch tall for two weeks now. It won't grow any more unless it warms up, so whoever is in charge of such things...would you MIND? I have the arbario rice and organic lemons waiting to make a nice batch of risotto with lemon and asparagus.

The dogs are restless as well. We need to start going for long walkies, but that wind just cuts right through me. There I was, on what looked like a wonderful sunny day wearing a winter coat, touque, scarf, mittens, my winter boots, thick socks, and shivering. I made it around the block before I bailed. Sorry puppies, but until it warms up a bit this suckie bear is staying in. Dh was saying that maybe we should wait a year before getting a heater for the pool, seeing as we don't know what is going on with the auto industry. But if we do that, I can for sure say I will most likely not be able to swim in it. I just can't handle being chilled any more. No more barefoot in the snow for this chilly-willy.

Today I was supposed to make the vegan mousakka that I have the ingredients for and was supposed to technically make to eat on Sunday. But the recipe calls for several steps (including slicing and roasting the veggies separately) and frankly, I am too lazy ROFL. I think maybe I will cut the veggies and toss them into a slow cooker with the sauce ingredients. Then I can spoon that into a casserole and top with the "creamy" layer. That sounds like a better plan.

Although, that still requires I get off my arse and go chop veggies. Hmmmmmm........

Come rub my hands

2009-02-25T19:32:00.000-08:00

Work has been busy busy busy. Between computer work, grinding keys on a polishing wheel, clipping the little chains on ID's, and programming work at home to the late hours of the night.....my hands are ACHING. Particulary my right one. And *whine whine whine* I got a metal burr stuck in my finger today and it hurts like a paper cut and my feet are cold and my ears are itchy *whine whine whine*. Tee hee!

Really though, I am beat. DD has been feeling poorly (low grade fever, and listless) the last few days so I am up a few times a night with her as well. Not exactly conducive to rest. I keep trying to press the snooze button in the morning, but Max knows that beep means BREAKFAST! No way is he letting me go back to sleep. All pugs love their food, and Ruby surely lets us know when her next meal is due. But 6:15 am? Yeah, she would rather sleep a little bit longer thank you. I had to look up "conducive" just now. Doesn't it look wrong? I figured it HAD to be wrong. Odd how some words just never look right, eh?

I am off to bed now. Night night. Wishing you gentle pug snores and warm fuzzy fur-babies to curl up with!

Whose idea was it to rescue this dog?!?!

2009-02-17T11:10:00.001-08:00

I forgot what puppies were like

All at once hilarious, exasperating, invigorating, and exhausting. He ticks me off but cracks me up at the same time.

Every time I try to sit somewhere, he is up and in the spot. I don't know how many times I have practically squashed him. And he doesn't budge either. He could care less that I am flattening him with my behind. I have pushed him off several times in a row to turn and squash him again. He is so fast, his feet barely hit the floor before he is back up again and right where I want to sit.

Ruby takes a few tries to get up on something (starts to jump, changes mind, walks it off, walks it off, walks it off, tries again, nope not ready yet, walks it off, walks it off, third try alli-oop!). This means there is some warning that she is on her way up. Max? Your warning is him….. suddenly appearing nose to nose with you. And he immediately squirms around to position himself so you can hold him like a baby. Annoying when cups and papers and stuff go flying, but adorable and hilarious at the same time.

He gets into stuff. And we have a LOT of stuff to get into. But he is so SNEAKY! He can take a stuffed animal right out from DD's arms as she is reading and she doesn't even notice until he dances past her later, swinging the stuffie around like a pendant. If you react ("Hey!") he takes a run for it. And impossible to catch. Chasing a pug is like trying to catch a greased pig. They are faster than they look, and can slink and scrunch and suddenly flatten against the ground making it impossible to make a grab. It's almost like watching a scene from the Matrix, when the characters do those impossible poses to avoid being hit by bullets.

He rips cardboard. He rips paper. He steals things like shoes and socks and stuffed animals. He keeps pulling the bookmarks out of books and loves to go "shopping" in the bathroom garbage can. And I think he is getting smarter. I think he steals one thing so that while I am taking that and hiding it away it gives him the chance to steal what he REALLY wanted.

Last night he pranced by with a clear glass christmas ornament in his mouth (leftover from a Brownie Crafts night). I got it away from him, but before I was even done putting it on the shelf, he was under the desk ripping up a notebook stolen from DD's backpack. Bugger.

One of his favourite games is romping on the couch, squirming on it, and racing back and forth until the cushions come off. If they are being stubborn he gives them a bit of help by burrowing underneath then flipping them off with his back. He will also purposely knock the pillows off so he can lay on them on the floor. I will find him laying with his head on a pillow, amid a chaotic mess of couch cushions, with all the toys in a ring around him (He likes to keep the toys arranged. When he is done with them, he piles them behind the dog bed). Geesh. I only went to the BATHROOM for goodness sake!

So far he has eaten a pencil and at least one crayon, several books, countless sections of the newspaper, toilet paper rolls, and my shoes. He demolished an entire new case of water bottles (and soaked the carpet, the bed, and the couch in the process). Think it is cute to let your doggie crunch up empty water bottles? Not so cute when they do the same with FULL ones. He likes to chew rocks from the backyard. He found a tree branch from SOMEWHERE and carries it around the backyard like a trophy.

I wonder what carnage awaits me today after work, since between the week-end and the holiday on Monday he has had us home for three straight days. He figures we should stay home to hold him like a baby and kiss him on the nose EVERY day.

What does a vegan eat at the Florida State Fair?

2009-02-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well let’s see. First there is the assortment of “deep fried” goodies. If anybody was brave enough to try a deep fried pepsi ball, please let me know. I was dying of curiosity but way too scared to even inquire about them. Just to be fair, they did have these.

See that? Deep fried vegetables. And just about any variety of fried potato imaginable. Ribbons fried up like a great big anemone of potato chips. French fries of every description topped with everything imagineable. I don’t even want to think about what happens to the sewer systems after thousands of people have eaten that much melted cheese on so many greasy foods!

And of course, a major assortment of food on sticks. What is it about food on a stick that makes it so enjoyable? To our credit, we did not eat any food on sticks. And there was no pizza on a stick, which was a disappointment because I just might have been tempted by that one.

But what DOES a vegan eat at the Florida State Fair?

Chocolate dipped bacon, of course! This is a picture of a newspaper article so that you don't think I am making this up.

And a picture of the sign.

And a picture of the item in person, being eaten by said blogger in person.

And she does not eat it alone. Yep, there they are: Nita and Timm, accomplices in crime. In fact, I do believe it was Timm that mosied up to the counter and paid for that plate of heart attack to share with us. Hmmm. If chocolate is GOOD for the heart and bacon is BAD for the heart, maybe they cancel each other out. They just might have something there! How was it? Why, you will just have to try it for yourself and see!

We petted goats and looked at cows and talked to geese that had chicken feathers. We saw a circus and walked by some dancing bears that were on their coffee break. We ate a potato chip anemone and strawberry shortcake (I won’t be seeing a real strawberry at home until June at the earliest, and only for a few weeks – the season is quite short). We dipped our bacon in chocolate and carefully avoided the guys trading guesses on weight and age for $10.00 bills. If you win, you get a very expensive $0.50 bear straight from china. If you lose? The entire crowd knows how old and fat you are and your wallet is a bit thinner.

We had a wonderful day at the fair. Thank you Nita and Timm!

There is a new man in my life.

2009-01-31T18:59:00.000-08:00

Well, he is more like a boy. Barely a teenager, some would say. And yet I am completely in love. And here he is:

His name is Max. He is 7 months old. While he was born into a good home, he was sold into another and not treated very well. He was given back, but the damage had already been done. Skittish, afraid of children, and every time you move your hands he acts like you are going to hit him.

The first day he came here, he wouldn't come near me. Just cowered behind DH's legs. Somehow, the first night, something changed. All of a sudden, he became MY dog. How does this happen? I mean, it's not like I am particularly wonderful or anything. Beasts just become attached to me. What can I say?

He has been here for a little over a week, and has improved by leaps and bounds. He no longer cowers, and his personality is starting to come out. He plays now, and no longer cringes when you move your hands. Which is really nice because I tend to gesture a LOT while I talk.

Talk about a sweet heart! He will cuddle for hours, and let you kiss him all over his face. Including his NOSE! I finally get to kiss a pug nose! Hurray! He loves to be carried around, and if you wrap him in a blanket like a baby he just soaks it all in. Ahem. According to a valuable source, of course. *cough*. The hard part about that, is that while he is just a pup by dog standards, he is basically full grown and weighs 21 pounds! He's much taller and longer than Ruby, and is not overweight at all. In fact, we have to watch to make sure he doesn't lose any. What a trip eh? And talk about long. His legs dangle down over your arms like a grasshoppers.

*Never mind how I look in this picture. I wasn't feeling well*

He has already learned sit and "pug dancing", and blessedly came potty trained. We need to work on a few other tricks, and he has a nasty habit of running at DD barking like a maniac and challenging her. She can touch him and kiss him and such, but if she walks into or out of a room, he barks and growls and rushes at her. So far no fur up, snarling, or biting. But a few times he has jumped up and pushed her with his front paws. He was abused by children in the past, so we have to retrain him on that issue.

Ruby just adores him. She kisses his face and wags her tail. But don't be fooled, she is the QUEEN of this house. Already, one look from her and Max drops to the floor and rolls over in a submissive gesture. Nobody messes with Ruby's bear! A few times he has laid next to her, and she let him. See, Ruby is not used to other animals touching her. She gets nervous. After all, usually when the cats "touch" her it involves a swat. When he tried to rest his head on her she called it quits. Too much too soon I guess ROFL. Right now Ruby is under the desk on a blanket, and Max is on the futon - which is officially Jasmine's spot but she isn't using it right now.

Max is very much like Ruby in that he doesn't chase the cats unless they run and really seem interesting at the moment. Both have stopped mid-chase and gave him a piece of their mind, which resulted in a streak of black lightning appearing behind my legs, bewildered and subdued. Hey, a guy has to learn his place, right?

Now when I sit and knit or read on the couch, I usually have a pug on one side, a pug on the other, and a cat on my lap. They keep me warm. Just doing our part to keep the energy bills down!

*Say NOTHING about the christmas decorations in the background. They are gone now, and it is not child abuse to have the decorations up after January as long as the tree is not real and it is not June yet.*

Bring me food!

2009-01-27T07:15:00.000-08:00

I have an intense craving for a club house sandwich. With real turkey, bacon, and EXTRA mayo. Which is odd, because normally I would pick the bacon off and eat it separately. Well, normally before I became vegan. Now I don't eat it at all (nor the turkey, and not regular mayo either). My favourite favourite "club" is one made layered on a soft pita, with real turkey and shaved ham. Add a side of fries and gravy and I would be set.

Sigh. I can sub for the bacon (bacos are fine, and there is Yves veggie bacon strips that I like as well) and vegenaise is excellent mayo. But nothing to sub for the turkey. It's a texture thing - it has to be there. Any seitan type products taste so wheat-gluten-ey they make me gag. A fake BLT? Just won't cut it.

I think I just might have to pick myself up a triple decker club house sandwich complete with the fixings. Oh, and an extra pickle too please.

Apparently a single apple-cranberry-flax english muffin is not enough for breakfast and makes me crave stuff. Now I want poutine, pizza with double cheese and every topping they have, and a gyro.

Hey, it's on me.

2009-01-23T07:29:00.000-08:00

Since getting married, my in-laws have always wanted to be very involved. With everything. Not only in the sense of knowing what is going on, but being part of the whole process from beginning to end. Wait a minute, make that in CHARGE of the whole process. When we didn't pick carpet colours they wanted (hey, it's OUR house!) FIL actually went and tried to change them. The smart carpet guy remembered that I was there when the order was made, and was NOT there when the changes were requested. "I ain't going against no wife without making sure she wants it changed". Smart man.

At some point they realized that I have a stronger personality than their son, and like to make my own decisions. So they began to appeal to DH's cheap side and started offering to pay for things. This was mostly so they could pick out what THEY wanted us to have. When we put the bathroom in the basement they wanted a different sink and toilet and shower stall so FIL said "I'll tell you what. The bathroom is on us, a housewarming gift. I'll take care of it all". Of course, this meant choosing the sink and toilet and shower stall that he wanted and having some guy install it with no permits. We paid for everything up front (with the assurance that we would be paid back), and I insisted on permits. Did the money ever get paid to us? No. MIL still to this day talks about the lovely bathroom they "gave" us. This was a pattern that started to repeat.

"You like that comfortor set? It's on us". Hmmmm. If the bedding is on MY credit card and I never see the money for it, why do they keep insisted it was a present??? Now that FIL has passed on, MIL has continued this tradition.

Coat shopping for DD, she wanted a fancy coat that was not weatherproof and we were only planning on buying ONE coat, a winter coat. "Tell you what. She wants the other coat too? It's on me. Call it a birthday present". It was a birthday present all right. And I gave it to her, because no coinage passed hands. Every time DD wears the coat in her presence she makes a big deal about it being from HER. I have to bite my tongue each time.

DH and I were planning on getting a WII as a family present for Christmas. MIL decided that we should find it, buy it, and it would be FROM HER - you know, since she couldn't get around to look for one being a non-driver and all. The microwave "she" bought for her sister for christmas was also technically from us (of course, it was my costco card so I had to pay, because her card expired and she didn't want to pay the membership fee just then). She sure gives expensive gifts. So expensive I think I might go broke from her generosity ;).

I have only just realized what a beautiful scam this is. It's almost like Seinfeld and taking credit for the big salad you had no part in ordering or paying for. Just think, you can take credit for ANYTHING and never have to pay a penny! Oh, you just bought a new house? How nice. Know what? I like you. The house is on me, how about that! Now let's talk about those ugly tiles you picked. I much prefer pink polka dots. After all, it IS from me. Or that car? Hey, it's from me! You go ahead and make ALL the payments but make sure you give me credit, okay? And never mind that beige you wanted. Purple is all the rage this year.

Sheesh. (Can you tell the bills just came in from Christmas? *snort*)

M-I-A and another M-I

2009-01-13T16:44:00.000-08:00

No, not a trip. Just a silly way to start a "I have been MIA for a really really long time and I am going to jump right in like I haven't been gone at all" post. Sorry, I must have been channelling the golden girls. Great. Now I have that "Miami" song stuck in my head. Drat.

So. How 'ya been? What'cha been doing? How's the kids? Hey, did I tell you I got a guitar for christmas? Yep. An inexpensive accoustic to learn on. I already know three chords and can belt out a rousing rendition of "Blowing in the Wind". The best part of practicing is knowing that I am driving DH and DD crazy playing the same thing over and over and over again, complete with bad singing! It's like a dream come true. My goal is to be able to bring my guitar places (like Brownies and cottages and camping and stuff) and play many different songs badly while singing horribly. If I get really good, I might even be able to properly mangle requests. *sniff* *sniff*. Such a bee-yoo-ti-ful dream. Makes me weepy. *snrrrrrrk*. Oops. Sorry about your sleeve.

Ruby is droopy right now. She is upset because she wants me to sit on the couch and make my lap available to her. She is not pleased that I chose to blog instead. See? It isn't entirely my fault I have been MIA. How can I resist those eyeballs?

It has been pretty cold here. She doesn't generally mind the snow and stuff. But at night she has been spending a lot of time behind my knees or under the covers. Beats having her on my head, mind you. But between her, the cats, and my flannel pajamas I feel like I am caught in flypaper all night. I try to move one way and I am pinned under the covers by a cat. Try to move the other way and get a disgruntled snort for crowding the dog. Try to flip in place and nearly dislocate something because my flannel is velcro'd in place on the sheets. Some nights I am tempted to go sleep on the couch, but the critters would only follow me. And DH or DD is bound to come wake me up and ask me what I am doing on the couch.

WHY wake a sleeping person and ask what they are doing? I mean, I am obviously not playing raquetball or advising City Council at that moment. Sheesh.

For those that care, I am still eating vegan. Other than the occasional cream in my coffee (when I go out. I use soy creamer at home and work) and the very occasional free-range antibiotic-free organic brown egg, that is. The shells on those things are so hard you practically need a hacksaw to crack them open. And the yolks? The colour is richer than the sun, my friends. So dark and intense that DD is suspicious and won't eat them ROFL! Now isn't that a kick in the pants? DH cracked one of each kind in separate bowls and we couldn't believe the difference. Even though they were bought at the same time, the organic eggs were visibly fresher. If only I didn't have to mortgage the house to eat them. Darn city by-laws. I'll get my own chickens yet.

Speaking of cold, my hands are freezing. I'd better go and get a hot tea and grant Rubella's request for a warm lap. She hates when I put my cold hands under her belly, but what the heck. She's even cute when she looks annoyed.

Excuse me, China? Is my cat there?

2008-12-19T08:29:00.001-08:00

When Jasmine was a kitten, she loved to dig in her litter box. Not recreationally - but if she was in there she would dig and dig and dig before she was happy that it was okay to do her business. And sometimes, she would stop and dig again.

We should have noticed that she was having urinary problems because she stopped digging. She no longer enjoyed the litter box, my friends. Anyhow, that is moot because we eventually did notice and she has had surgery and is all fixed up and stuff. Now that she is feeling better....guess what? Dig dig dig dig dig.

Most mornings she chooses to visit the box right before my alarm clock goes off. This disturbs Ruby to no end (and I have no idea why) and makes her restless. The start of the wake-up routine begins (you know, tongues up the nose and face pawing and stuff). This morning a snow storm started at about 5:00am, so the sky was sort of bright (What is up with the odd reddish-yellowish colour of the sky when it snows at night anyway?). This woke the cats earlier than normal, so the entire digging and snurffling routine began earlier than ever.

And the whole time Ruby was trying to sniff INSIDE my nose and put her tongue in my eye while stepping on my hair, the cat was digging to china in the litter box. The other cat was acting crazy and chasing shadows and running back and forth like a maniac and stopping to harass pretty much everything (mostly because she is Xena and this is what she does - it had nothing to do with digging or snow or wake-up routines).

What does a gal have to do to get some rest around here? Sheesh.

You know what today is? Snow-mageddon day. That's what day it is today. And do you know where I am? At work. That's where I am. Not only am I at work, I am four different people because they were smarter than I was and chose to stay home. What is worse is that getting here was a breeze, but at least a good foot more snow has fallen since I got here. I may not be able to get HOME. Now that I think about it, if I do get home....I don't think I'll be able to get into my driveway. Sigh. At least it's pretty ;).

Ruby generally likes the snow. But it was blowing needle-like pellets while she was outside this morning. The wind gusted up as the poor thing was squatted and a wall of snow hit her like a coat of paint. You know the face humans make when the snow blows at them? Squinched up and eyes squinted and half turned with a look of disgust? Yeah. Ruby made that face. She looked like a snow man when she came in.

Well, back to the grindstone.

The trouble with skylights

2008-12-09T12:31:00.001-08:00

There is a skylight above my cubicle. It is the closest thing to a "window" this office has, so I am not complaining. However.

Today it is cold and rainy, and the sound of the drops hitting that thing are putting me to sleep……..and making me have to pee every five minutes. This is not a good combination, folks. I would hate to fall asleep then wet the bed while I am at work.

I have been trying to keep myself awake by eating Clementine oranges and soft puffy peppermints but it doesn't seem to be working. All I have to show for the effort is rotten teeth and an acid stomach. (I just can't seem to pick a good box of those little citrus fruit. I love them so much that I keep trying and hoping. Sigh.) Maybe I need to graduate to full size oranges and candy canes.

By the way. If you ever want to be taken seriously at work, do NOT sing along with "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" while swinging your elbows in vaudeville fashion. Just in case it ever comes up *cough*. Oh, and NEVER finish off with 'jazz hands' and a crazy Disney smile. Again, not that I know for sure. *cough cough*.

Be afraid. Be. Very. Afraid.

2008-12-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I arrived at the aftercare program to pick up my daughter, I was met by the "teacher". She asked me to sort of sneak a peek around the corner and watch for a bit, before going in. She was laughing, so I wasn't worried that it was terrible, but still I was a bit worried.

What did I see? My daughter standing in front of a group of boys (ages from about 6 down to maybe 3 years) and giving them directions. She was holding a ball, and they held onto her every word. And when she said "GO!" they scattered like roaches when the kitchen light comes on. When she told them to "STOP!" they froze in their tracks instantly. If she walked towards one area of the room, they followed her. If she moved again, they followed. She was the pied piper, and they were the rats.

"It's like that every day". I am just hoping that she chooses to use this power over her merry band of marauders for good, rather than evil. But given who her parents are, it ain't bloody likely. My leadership skills, talent for manipulation, and bossiness combined with DH's "instigator" genes and deviousness - we are lucky she hasn't already made a coup to take over the world.

I guess it didn't take her long to realize that it's much harder to boss girls your own age around because they have this horrible habit of protesting and resisting, silly things. It is impossible to boss boys your own age around because "girls are yucky" so they won't come near enough to you to be bossed to begin with. Cooties, you know. But younger boys? Younger boys follow like sheep and do your bidding. They are a group ripe for the picking, just waiting for a ring-leader to come around.

If you ask me, those after-care instructors are crazy to be in that line of work. You can't fool me. One false move with those little savages, and they go all "Lord of the Flies" on your ass. Trust me. I am a Brownie leader, so I know what children are capable of. We are always "this far" away from being cooked and eaten every meeting.

One can only be so cheap

2008-11-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

And you would think there were no limits to my cheapness ;).

Then again, we aren't talking about my taste in clothes nor colours of wall paint for the living room (bubble gum pink, just to remind you). I am eating vegan, and I have accepted that certain specialty items are going to be expensive. But really, since I am the only person using them and when you consider portion size, it's not all as costly as it sounds. Still, it burns my butt when I spend the money and go the extra mile to find a product and I hate it.

Don't get me wrong. I will finish off a product that I don't LOVE if it was expensive, then just never buy it again. I find ways to use up products that I didn't like rather than throw them away because it feels less wasteful. Now and again though, I have come across something that is so heinous and gross that it goes right in the garbage, regardless of cost.

I wish I had made that decision about the frozen veggie pattie I had for dinner. As far as I can discern, the main ingredients are undercooked basmati rice, overcooked veggie cubes, undercooked veggie cubes, and some mushy pastey substance that I have yet to identify. The box was expensive, and it contained 8 patties. They are almost 200 calories each so I would only ever eat 1 at a time, makng it seem like the package is lasting forever. Lasting forever and taunting me from the freezer.

Tonight I tried yet another cooking method hoping that I would hit on the holy grail that would make these things not so disgusting. Yeah. Still looking.

Why do I torture myself like this? I could have found something that I liked instead. I could have had a cup of quinoa with my sauteed veggies and enjoyed the meal immensely. Or heated some brown rice (I cook it in batches and freeze it in cup size servings). But no. I sat here, staring that veggie pattie in it's lowly undercooked carrot cube eye, doused it in salsa, and choked it down.

Please. Somebody save me from myself. Sneak into my house in the middle of the night and throw those things away before I eat another one!

Want to know what is the most sad about all of this? There are only three left. Seven times I have gagged down one of these babies. Pitiful.

Stuck in a Seinfeld episode

2008-11-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

I like to wear sleeveless or short sleeve shirts. Yes, even in the winter. Because, you see, I am used to being overly warm all the time. It is much easier to put on a sweater if you are chilled than it is to strip off a long sleeved shirt when you are too warm at the office - know what I mean?

I haven't quite adjusted to being colder now (it's the lower blood pressure I am sure), so I keep a sweater at the office. That way I don't have to remember to bring one and I won't be miserable all day if I forget it and turn out to be cold all day.

I threw said sweater on this afternoon and was immediately overwhelmed by some strong, stinky fumes. "Somebody has been wearing my sweater", said Goldilocks, "and that person apparently bathes in cheap perfume". I took it off right away, but the scent had already transferred to my shirt. It was giving me a headache and I just couldn't get away from it. It was like the B.O. from the car, only with a sweater and perfume. I had to endure it all afternoon. Changed the second we got home. And know what? Now I can smell the perfume in my HAIR. Just to make sure I wasn't losing my mind or getting paranoid and imagining phantom smells, I made DD sniff my hair too. "Blech. It smells like the make-up department in Sears".

I don't know how annoyed to be. I mean, I don't mind the borrowing so much. But leaving me with a sweater that I can't even stand to be near doesn't seem fair either. I am sure the guilty party has no idea that she smells like a hooker, and it is not MY duty to tell her either. So the sweater goes right into the washing machine (alone, I am not taking any chances that the scent will spread to other clothes while mingling in that dark place) and when I bring it back to work?

Hiding it in my drawer.

Of tofu and spiders and dogs in dresses

2008-11-18T06:50:00.001-08:00

Well. Long time no blog, eh? I am home sick today and taking advantage of a little laptop time. So much has happened since our last visit, n'est pas?

There has been thanksgiving and a fake tofu turkey. I won't go into details but rest assured this monstrocity was made out of plaster and nobody ate it. I made myself a casserole of soy slices and bread stuffing with veggies and gravy and it was very good if I don't say so myself. I wasn't as tempted by the turkey as I expected, although I have to admit the cabbage rolls almost did me in.

There has been halloween with chocolate licorice spiders and their diabolical candy eyes:

False eyelashes:

And of course dogs in dresses:

This is Ruby in her "born to bark" pink goth dress. I have no idea what is going on with those zombie looking eyes LOL. It is some odd reflection but red-eye removal does nothing to it and I am too lazy to photoshop them. Once again, she was thrilled to be in costume and insisted on sitting in my lap so she could get a good look inside each candy bag as I handed out treats.

DD was a goth fairy princess. She asked me not to post a picture of her and I am honoring that, but she looked great. She did her own make-up and we sprayed her hair with black and red hair spray. It was a beautiful night for trick-or-treating, but we didn't get as many kids as we expected. Oh well. The only problem with having candy left over was that we intentionally bought candy we wouldn't be tempted to eat. Every year I get chocolate bars, and every year I have to run out at the last minute when I discover that "somebody" has not only eaten all those itty bitty treats, but that same "somebody" has left all the wrappers in the empty box. THIS year, in order to protect ourselves (well, at least protect "somebody" from themself) we didn't get chocolate bars. If anybody would like an assortment of gummy body parts (mostly eyeballs, fingers, and noses) you just let me know.

I have been troubled with a deep cough for two weeks. The kind that feels like a tickle in your throat that causes spasmatic gasping coughs, but no matter how much you hack there is no relief. Finally it is no longer that maddening tickle, but it has settled in my chest. My whole body is sore from coughing, and now my chest burns as well. I tried to convince the doctor that I had whooping cough and needed an oxygen tent, but he didn't seem impressed at all. He told me to stay home and rest a couple of days (this is day 2), drink plenty of fluids, and go back if the cough gets worse (worse?!?) or anything changes colour. Ew, BTW. I was only there so he could sign my lab forms anyway, so I should count my blessings that he spoke to me at all LOL. Yes, it is fasting time again. And I know for sure this time I have to pee in a cup. It is so much better when I know ahead of time, and yet, I still probably won't be able to give a sample. I just cannot pee on command. Especially if I know somebody is waiting. Very interested in seeing the results since I have been vegan since, like what, august? If my numbers aren't great then I am eating cabbage rolls for sure!

DD's birthday has come and gone. She had a skating party with her friends, where we rented the entire ice pad for an hour so they could have it to themselves. I think they had fun. Then we met family at a nearby restaurant for pizza. I have to figure out a way to fit people into the house. I mean, it's great not to have to clean up before or after, and it's way less stressful to let somebody else cook. But it is very expensive and I think DD would rather have time to play with her cousins and stuff. This year we had the added problem of carpet stains.

Jasmine has been sick, and ended up having surgery to remove bladder stones. Between bloody urine just dribbling out, vomit, blood from incisions and so on our house is one big hotbed of animal DNA. I wouldn't want to shine a blacklight around here, the place would light up like a christmas tree on steroids. Ew again, BTW. Jasmine is fine now, as far as we can tell. But she still isn't eating very well and throws up every once in a while. Poor baby. Poor very expensive baby. Next time a mortgage payment is due, I am very tempted to plunk the cat on the broker's desk ;).

I think I will go grab my knitting and some herbal tea, wrap myself in a blanket, and indulge in some day time crap tv. I need some wallowing time. Hey, doctor's orders!

*Gratuitous Sparkle photo*

A weekend in the wilderness

2008-10-20T08:58:00.001-07:00

We had a Brownie camp out over the week-end. Two nights, a group of 7-8 year olds in tents. The girls enjoyed sleeping out, even though it was quite cold out at night. It was so cold the second night we were worried, but when we checked the girls were snug as bugs in a rug. They were warmer than we were! Passed out some extra blankets just to be sure (you know, for that mom in us that insists children are cold whether they are or not).

They cooked muffins in box ovens, peeled and chopped veggies for stew, washed their own dishes. For some of them, it was the first time they had ever served themselves a meal, let alone washed a dish. You could see their little minds whirling "I have to scoop the stew into my own bowl and CARRY it?".

It was a great week-end. I do want to say however that it always amazes me how long it takes girls to do EVERYTHING. Don't count on dressing or bathroom trips taking a few minutes. Plan about 30 minutes and don't be impatient. Girls this age live on their own time-space continuum.

The days were bright and sunny (good thing, to take the chill off) and boy does spending all that time in fresh air stimulate the appetite and make for good sleep at night. It was a bit odd sleeping without a dog on my head or a cat sprawled across me trying to smother me to death. But I managed to cope ;). I was amazed at the yellow jackets still flying around. Come on, darn things. It is practically WINTER out there. Enough already!

For the "Circle of life" moment of the week-end, we were gathered around a campfire in the afternoon singing songs, when the girls found something. Not a mouse. HALF of a mouse. Specifically, the back half. That is right. Something ate the other half, in one big bite by the looks of it. And hadn't finished all that long before, either. We figure an owl or hawk got startled and dropped it. Before any of the girls could get upset, I launched into my "now that bird will be stronger so it can build a good nest next year and lay eggs that will hatch into more owls, and since mice reproduce so quickly if it wasn't for birds and things that eat them, we would be overrun" and so on. You know. Supply and demand. It was easier, granted, because it was not the half of the mouse that has those cute little ears and stuff. Then we distracted them with kool-aid jammers and granola bars and led them to another activity.

I enjoyed every moment of it, and boy did I notice a difference in how I felt, now that I have been going for personal training. Sure, I was tired. And my feet hurt because we were basically standing for two days straight. But I felt nowhere near the car-wreck I felt like last time after only a single day. And we were ACTIVE. It felt good to get some sunshine and fresh air and get moving. Next time I will wear better shoes. I should have worn light hiking boots.

I bought a small (2 quart?) crock pot for the week-end, and I love that little thing. I enjoy slow cooked food, but DH and DD aren't thrilled about their meat being cooked with veggies. And frankly, now I am not so into having my veggies cooked with meat. This size is perfect for me to make a smaller batch of veggie stew or soup. Last night I toasted a cup of steel cut oats and tossed them in there overnight with 4 cups of water. I don't like cooked oatmeal usually (unless it is in a baked good - just not as hot cereal) but I figured I would try it on a lark.

It turned out much different than I expected. It looked creamy but the texture was fluffy, with bits from the whole oats that gave it substance. Not slimey at all. I ate mine plain, but might add some fruit next time. Or maybe even some veggie stock powder and try it that way. DD tried it, and liked the texture but not the "toasted" flavour. She said "please just make mine in the microwave like normal next time". Tee hee!

So now I have oatmeal to reheat for the rest of the week. It is nice and warm and filling. My only problem with it, is that it doesn't stay with me. By 10:00am I am starving again. Have to bring some fruit or something to combat that.

Anyhow. Back to work!

Wanna see some bugs?

2008-10-10T16:08:00.000-07:00

I was transferring photos from my camera memory card to the computer and found some shots I don't even remember taking. DH is in charge of "real" picture taking. You know, stuff that is meant to be printed and placed in the photo albums. Christmas, birthdays, big events. The pictures I take? Purely selfish and artsy fartsy purposes. That's why we each have our own camera. That way I can play around with the settings without making him mental over it. He is a preset sort of guy. I am a "let's see what THIS does" kinda gal. Trust me, it is better this way.

This was taken at my brother's cottage in Michigan. There were some wild blackberry bushes growing (they are small, but very good). I was checking to see if there were any more ripe ones, when I saw that I wasn't the only fan.

See that little bug on the berry the furthest to the left? He would pierce the ripest part of the berry. Smart little guy. Of course, he would be smarter if he waited for these berries to ripen even more.

I was peeking through the garden looking for the last of the tomatoes that have a hope in ripening. And what should I find? It is *shudder* a tomato "horn" worm. Although it wasn't as big and as gross as I remember them. And it looks like something has laid eggs on it. In fact, these are parasitic wasp eggs. Anybody who is into organic gardening and integrated pest management would be thrilled to see this.

And we were even more thrilled to see THIS. Although, thrilled from a distance. There is not enough lexapro in the world at this point to get me to touch a praying mantis. At least not one THIS big! He's about hand length there, on the side of the pool. They start out as tiny exact copies of themselves, and bright green. Like a centimeter long and all eyeballs LOL. Then we catch sight of them here and there, getting bigger each time. At 1/2 an inch, they are still cute. 1 inch long? Cutish. Longer than that? Okay that is a BUG. When they reach this size, have fully developed wings - yes, they can fly - and are starting to turn brown for the fall? Amazing. Graceful. Enthralling. And most of all, scary beyond belief. I am not kidding. There is nothing like a bug the size of your hand turning it's little alien head and WATCHING you as you walk by.

So why are we thrilled? Seeing these is a sure sign that you have a healthy garden and nature is doing it's work. If we find a seed capsule in the fall or spring we are very careful to leave it be, or cut it off and place it in a nice, sheltered spot. We have been watching what we think is the same one that had taken residence near the pool for a while now. We watched as it got bigger and bigger, and would hunt along the edge of the pool overhang. Good bugs under there, we can imagine. Not having seen him in a while we can only assume this is the same one. Dh called me over with "Awwww......our baby grew up!" LOLOLOL.

And now, I leave you with a gratuitous fungus.

Where did THAT come from?

2008-09-29T17:15:00.000-07:00

DD and I were on our way home from the gym, when all of a sudden we were under water. Well, it was raining hard enough to be anyway. From nothing to rain so hard and fast I couldn't see the road. Sheesh! Getting from the car to the house (two bounding steps when the rain is cold like that) and we were soaked to the underwear. I can't even imagine how it would have felt to be stuck out there on bikes or walking. That rain felt cold enough to chill beer, if you ask me.

Last night I tested an idea for thanksgiving. I have seen many "stuffed pumpkin" conglomerations. I thought it would be nice to try a vegan-stuffed pie sized pumpkin. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go with a stewy type thing, bread stuffing, or a wild rice style dressing. After looking at a hundred or so recipes, I decided the stew was NOT the way to go. Nothing inspired me as having particularly thanksgiving-y flavours.

I took a small pie pumpkin and cut it in half. Scooped out the strings and seeds, then sprinkled with cajun seasoning. I wanted to make sure the pumpkin itself tasted like something. I roasted them until they were softened but not mushy.

Cubed bread, celery, onions, poultry seasoning and a handful of walnuts mixed with veggie stock was packed into one of the halves. TVP sausage crumbles, cooked brown and wild rice mixture, more onions and celery and sauteed mushrooms were packed into the other. These were baked until the pumpkin halves were completely soft and the tops were starting to brown.

I have to say, what a disappointment. I liked both stuffings, but the pumpkin had NO flavour whatsoever. And the texture was not that hot either. I don't believe I have ever eaten cooked pumpkin before (other than in muffins or quick breads). Methinks maybe pumpkin might work better in a wetter application like braising or stewing, where flavourful liquids can seep inside it and infuse the flesh with flavour. It won't go to waste, I plan on eating the stuffings themselves then scooping out the cooked pumpkin to use in soup or something. And they looked very nice and festive. It would look even better if I lidded and hollowed the pumpkin, but this was a test of the fillings and I didn't want to do two whole pumpkins. I am glad of that decision!

Oh, and browning rice stuffing? Not the greatest idea unless you like reversing all the work you did rehydrating those little grains and returning them back to the bullet-like texture they started with right from the package. If you like broken teeth, then go right ahead. Definitely should have been covered with foil.

My workout tonight was "shoulders". Tomorrow will be spent lifting one arm with the other and trying to hoist it up on things because these exercises always kill me. Can I not have at least ONE muscle that is surprisingly strong already? I mean, come on. Sheesh.

TGIF

2008-09-26T12:56:00.001-07:00

I have never been so happy to see a Friday.

I am pooped! The Brownies pooped me out last night. (Is it just me, or does that sentence just sound SO wrong?). Girls are trickling in, so there are new joiners each week. One such new joiner last night was having trouble transitioning into the group and away from mum. So there went one leader to help with that.

We were doing two crafts that were time intensive and required a lot of hands on help. Just for the record, sewing through cloth with yarn? Not the best idea unless you like having to re-thread the needle for each girl every five minutes. If we doubled the yarn and knotted the end it caused too many tangles, so it had to be singles with a hanging end. The girls would pull, and out would pop the yarn from the eye of the needle. My eyes nearly went crossed, I redid so many of them! The other craft was a plastic-canvas craft which required – wait for it – needles and yarn! Obviously when we planned that one we were momentarily insane.

The parents had been asked to come early and have a meeting with the regular owls, so I was left to entertain the troupe. We sang a couple of songs, but I could see by their beady little eyes the children were beginning to suspect I had no idea what I was doing. The testing started. Whispering girls over here, wiggling and fidgeting over there. The circle started to degrade and was now more the shape of a half eaten donut. I was losing control, man. It didn’t take long for them to decide that I was in no way in charge. Thank goodness the meeting finished and the other Owls came to my rescue before the little imps killed me and danced around my carcass. Don’t think they wouldn’t do it, either. They may look cute in their little kerchiefs, but what can you expect from miniature deities that worship owls and dance around toadstools?

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I worked out with my Personal Trainer. It is supposed to be every other day, but there were scheduling conflicts. Wednesday we did a body pump class (she is getting her certification to teach it and wanted some of her clients to try it). Most of it was okay (I was using baby weights), but let me tell you the lunges and squats kicked my arse. I am just recovering today and can sit and stand without wincing. I’m still whining about having a sore bum, but I am dramatic like that ;). Tonight is the first night that I don’t have to rush home, wolf down some food, and be somewhere else.

I made pizza dough last night before bed, so it is make your own pizza night. Can I call it pizza if I don’t use cheese? Okay, DH and DD are having pizza and I am eating focaccia with toppings. How is that?

Well….break is over (and the work-day is almost over as well – busy day!). Gotta start locking up. Have a great week-end!

Jiminy has to go

2008-09-18T07:45:00.001-07:00

Crickets. My life is wrought with crickets. Not long ago, when I was at my height of anxiety-dome, I was so petrified of crickets I could hardly leave the house at night. Walk across the patio? No sirree bob, those suckers were just waiting for me to go out there so they could scrabble from their hidey holes and freak me out. I used to be a "child of the night" to get away from bees and flying insects. But when the crickets started climbing up the bricks and flinging themselves at me, I was done like a dinner.

And these crickets were BIG. And for some reason, the ones that had turned a sort of dullish brown were even grosser than the big, fat, glossy black ones.

Thanks to some good therapy (and even better meds), my cricket problem was solved and I am no longer afraid to "take back the night". I have also taken back the day, because I am no longer afraid of bees and such. I still don't LIKE them, but I don't cower in the house waiting for a good time to run to my car and get inside before anything "bad" happens.

This, however, does not mean that my life is cricket-freaky free. Nosiree. I am not SCARED of crickets any longer, but with their long spindly legs and creepy crawly habits I still find them pretty gross. I can appreciate the beauty of a long black wasp. I can even wax poetic about a fuzzy bumblebee. Them crickets? Uh-glee. Up until now, this disdain did not apply to their noises. After all, what would camping or a night in the country be without the soothing 'chirp chirp chirp' in the background. Think of how many kids spent lazy summer days counting chirps to try and guess the temperature. There is something even almost nostalgic about cricket chirps and cicada song, although I don't know why. (Don't get me started on cicadas. Have you ever SEEN one???? ACK!).

There is a cricket in the office. He is behind some filing cabinets across from my desk. He has been chirping since Monday. I cannot catch him. I cannot convince him to move on. I can make him stop for about 30 seconds at a time if I tap on the cabinet, but that is about it. At first, it was charming. Kind of like camping at the office. People would walk by and say "Oh, how nice. You have a cricket! It must be soothnig". Yeah. Soothing.

Well, today is THURSDAY. And that chirping is driving me completely insane. It gets louder as the day goes on, too. A quick google search proved that there is not much I can do. I can try to catch it and relocate it but those cabinets are full of heavy paperwork that would take days to empty. And being the wuss that I am I keep rejecting offers to drop a "bug bomb" back there. I want it to shut up, but I don't want it to sleep with the fishies or anything. At least not without a fighting chance to relocate on it's own.

I have half a mind to bring in Sparkle and let her go back there. Hamsters eat crickets, right? Nah. With my luck she will get stuck in a glue trap or be lost forever back there.

Crickets like dark, right? What if I buy a cheap click light or something, turn it on, and drop it back there? Maybe the cricket would find a better, darker place to go. Maybe I need a CASE of click lights so it doesn't decide to relocate under my desk or something.

Sigh. Any ideas? Got a cricket-eating reptile I can borrow? A spare pare of ear plugs? Something.

Night sweats

2008-09-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

The last couple of nights, by bedtime I have been freezing. My feet specifically. I know it is because the weather is changing, but that makes it no less annoying to me. It keeps me awake. Socks don't help, either. Last night I warmed up the rice pad and placed it at the foot of the bed. It mostly worked, except the cats piled on top of it too so my feet would fall asleep forcing me to move my cold tootsies away from the hot zone. They'd get cold again so I would squish them into the steaming warmth of cats and heating pad, then they would fall asleep again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Not impressed at having to share with those critters. Heat whores, those cats.

Also, I have been waking up completely soaked in sweat. A cold sweat. Not exactly a not-feeling-well sweat. Not a bad-dream sweat. But my hair is soaked and my chest is dripping. I have been getting this off and on for over a year now (right before PMS - bwa ha ha haaa) but never this many nights in a row. Could it be pre-menopause? After all, I am not far from forty at this point. (Did I actually just type that? Strike it from your mind. Really, I am eighteen. I swear it!). Maybe it is just the increase in soy products. I might have to look into some evening primrose oil or something.

Want to hear the randomest, oddest, most insane thing I heard today? "That there is a good looking homeless man". I didn't even have any reply. What does a person say to that? I could only just stand and stare for a moment, processing. Who says things like that?!?! I work with some odd ducks. And speaking of....

Do you know what the book man is? Some people have a book lady. I suppose it should be "book person" to be P.C. about it. Anyway, it is a person that sells books and other small items. They drop off samples of their wares and order sheets. After so many days they collect the samples and fill any orders they get. It seems like every day more and more products are piled onto the lunch table, so much so that it's getting too crowded to eat there. As I sat, scrunched into a corner, eating my veggie balogna sandwich, a coworker was rummaging through the stacks of "stuff" and books.

All of a sudden she grabs my lunch bag and starts rooting through it, looking a little confused. "What is this?" she exclaimed as she extracted a package. "Those are cookies that have heart healthy ingredients in them". Oh, she said, as she stuffed it roughly back into the bag. I was a little shocked, but not really offended. I am not sure I liked having my lunch manhandled in such a way, but at the moment I was intent on remaining polite.

Then she pulled out another packet, and read it slowly. "V-e-g-a meal replacement. 100% daily nutrients with plant based sterols and proprietary protein mix........What kind of crap is this?" she sounded a little exhasperated as she shoved that back into the bag as well. I didn't know how to react. I mean, maybe she is just a little direct. Some people have no concept of personal space, maybe she was one of those. I stammered something about veggie lifestyles and making sure you get your nutrients, and she just glared at me. At last she tugged out my baggie of apple slices. She stared at them. She turned the bag this way, then that way. I couldn't wait to hear her assessment of my brown-tinged and sad looking slices. All of a sudden, her eyes got real wide, and she gasped. "IS THIS YOUR LUNCH BAG?!?!?"

I have never seen somebody look so mortified in my life. She thought it was part of the book man samples! We were both laughing our heads off like loons. She kept gasping out, "Why didn't you SAY anything?" as we nearly rolled on the floor cackling like mad. I told her I was too shocked to say anything.

I have to admit, when I worked from home nobody ever manhandled my lunch. Although Ruby would beg for things, and snotted on my sandwich once. Hit it with a huge loogie, right from the floor (pug-nose height). To her consternation I didn't let her eat the tainted item - I threw it away. She thought it was a waste of a good sandwich - and some diabolically good aim.

Important Correction!

2008-09-16T07:57:00.001-07:00

I am posting this via remote because I have a most important correction to
make!

I took 1805 steps yesterday. Somehow I managed to misread the darn thing.
I know, I know. Small change. But I gotta take what I can get!

See ya!

More fiber than I bargained for

2008-09-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

I just ate, like, my hundredth produce sticker today. I can remember to wash my fruit and veg, but hunting down and removing those little diabolical stickers? Not so much. Apple slices smeared with just a bit of peanut butter, sprinkled with cinnamon and topped with a few sliced almonds. I thought I found a softish-chewy almond, then I realized what it was. Blech! The almonds didn't add much to the experience either. I'll stick with wheat germ.

What do you mean you have never had apple slices with peanut butter and wheat germ? Not health food tasting at all, I promise! The cinnamon is a relatively new addition introduced by DD and adopted by me. Pretty good, I must say.

After a bit of a delay (my back and subsequent crookedness, my personal trainer going for more - er - training) we started my actual very first full strength training today. We focused on arms and shoulders. I now know for sure there is a reason to have a personal trainer - I would have bonked myself in the head with the barbells after each rep. I can pump them up into the air like nobody's business*. It is the downward, uncontrolled motion that is dangerous (did I mention I have like NO arm strength?). If it wasn't for her guiding hands I would have cracked my melon more than once with one side or the other. It is worth the money I pay to avoid the brain damage. Of course, we will see how appreciative I am tomorrow when I am too sore to zip my own pants or lift the coffee cup to my lips. *I am lying. I shake like a wuss.*

Just for good measure, she threw in some of my FAVOURITE double crunches. Crikey, those things kill me. Then some leg stretches because my hamstrings were sore today (at the top, rather than behind the calf like normal). I think I may have overstretched a bit in yoga Sunday morning. Or it could be the rainy, damp weather. I could make a good living as a weather station.

A little while back we had a wellness day at work. We received pedometers with the company logo. Today was the kickoff for a "walking tour" of Canada of sorts. Anybody who wants to join in will wear their pedometers and log how far they walk in a week (these babies have a handy converter so you can see your step count in miles/kms). The distance will be logged on a map, following a certain route. We want to see how far we get! At the end we will all do something (lunch or some such) to celebrate the trip. Plus we will all get a t-shirt. Yes, I get excited about shirts for things when I have actually DONE something towards them. I am a nerd of the highest proportions. But if you didn't know that, you must be new. Anyhoo, I walked 1506 steps today. That is pitifully low. Although I have nothing to compare it to really. Tomorrow it should be MUCH higher after an hour of cardio.

If not, I can just sit and shake the thing until I see a number I like better. Bwa-ha-ha-haaa!

Too tired to blog

2008-09-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

Talk about your rough days. I spent most of mine crawling around under desks to find extension numbers written on network cable boxes. The rest of it was spent dangling on the edge of a metal bracket so I could reach cabling that had to be disconnected from HERE and plugged into THERE. Or chasing phone problems. And printing problems. And.....sigh. What a day to be IT back up. One piece of IT equipment craps out, and my day becomes hell. And it is still not all resolved, but I did what I could do. Now it is somebody else's turn to look like a deer caught in the headlights every time they are asked when stuff will be up and running again.

I wore bad shoes to be running, crawling, and dangling. I finally just took them off, since they fell off every time I did anything besides standing flat footed anyhow. Managed to get dinner ready without too much trouble - frozen fries, veg gravy from a packet, and meatless chicken nuggets. Okay so I managed to reheat or reconstitute dinner without any trouble. DD added cheese to her fries to make poutine. I added salad to my plate because everything was too brown ;). It actually hit the spot nicely after that day of mine.

DD is finished her homework and has a friend over. Dinner is cleaned up and put away. I think I might go knit for a little while. Or read. Anything that doesn't involve a phone or a computer. Or crawling under a desk.

A crooked little woman....

2008-09-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

Except I do not live in a crooked little house. I am so angry with myself. I know I am not allowed to carry. I know computer towers are the worst. But on Friday I was stuck with one in the middle of a bad area, standing by my car and being approached by some unsavory characters. So I hurled it into the trunk in a panic - just wanting to get the heck outta there. The moment it slid from my hands I felt a very bad feeling.

A very painful feeling. The gut-twisting-charley-horse-all-over-the-body, you-just-popped-a-disc-darling feeling. (Stop reading now, mom and dad). FUCK. (Okay, the bad word is over. You can start reading again). The pain is tolerable but staying upright to walk is harder than it should be. And my guts still feel like they are twisting. Did I mention I was crooked? The top half of my body has a lean to the left, and my right hip juts out. If I got stuck on a mild incline I would most likely walk in circles until some kind soul gave me a shove. Sigh.

The worst part? My personal trainer is afraid to continue with the program until she is sure my back is all better. That might be NEVER. I don't want her to drop me totally. Maybe I can talk her out of doing the body pump thing and just keeping up the personalized workouts for the rest of the weeks. I really really really don't want to stop! I am seeing so many improvements.

Drat. Well, off to see her tonight. Cross your fingers for me that she doesn't drop me. Vegan comfort food is just sad.

How do you like YOUR weenies?

2008-09-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

I had some tofu dogs to use up and was in the mood for "beanie weenies". Basically baked beans with hot dogs cut up into them. Only I forgot to pick up meat free baked beans when we went grocery shopping. Being as I did have some barbque sauce to use as well(which tasted fine but was too mild and too thin) and a can of mixed beans, we were still in business!

It's important to remember that vegetables are part of vegan eating. It is easy to get totally caught up in the meat substitutes and starchy foods like pasta and potatoes. I love veggies, so that is not a problem with me! I sauteed some onion and green pepper, and a sliced jalapeno from my garden (very mild this year, even with the seeds left in). Then I added half the can of beans - drained and rinsed of course, gotta reduce that sodium! - and about 1/4 cup of barbeque sauce. I didn't want them too sweet or overtaken by the sauce which would happen if I added 1/2 cup of it or more. But the beans still needed some simmering to bring all the flavours together. I added a bit of veggie stock to fulfill that. Cut in two tofu dogs, and let it all simmer until it was saucy and the beans were perfectly tender.

Tofu dogs are too soft and their skins too tough for eating on a bun, I found. But sliced and mixed into beans (or even a thick soup or stew)? Yummy. They have that real hot dog smell, and the flavour too although it's a bit muted.

A big bowl of beans and doggies, and some whole grain bread slathered with vegan margarine. Good dinner. Now if DH and DD would only stop making faces. Not at the tofu dogs, believe it or not, but rather the onions and peppers. Sheesh.

Say it isn't so, Tootsie!

2008-09-02T14:24:00.000-07:00

You may or may not know, but for now I am not eating meat or dairy. Just because. Anyway. I am not being fanatical about it. I'm not going out of my way to find bread and stuff that is completely dairy free, but I do use vegan margarine (for example). Still, I have been reading labels and it is interesting what ingredients lurk in places you never expected.

Some boys were selling tootsie rolls for....I don't know. Charity? To raise money for their sports team? To support their crack habit? Who cares. It was right after my workout, I was starving, and it was a TOOTSIE roll. Now, I had a good idea there would be milk ingredients in there. I was going to eat it anyway. But being nosey I read the ingredients all the same. And came to a screeching halt! Yes, I saw the expected milk ingredients. But it was something completely unexpected that was the deal breaker - hydrogenated vegetable oil. DEADLY HYDROGENATED FATS IN MY TOOTSIE ROLL?!?! How could this be?

I have fond memories of getting a tube shaped bank full of mini-tootsie rolls for christmas (maybe for other holidays as well). Or the oddly varied sizes and shapes of tootsie rolls at halloween (which have gladly been brought back, with the addition of those lovely flavoured ones). For me, they ranked right up there with kraft caramels and chocolate bars when divying the goody pile.

Just chocolate enough, sweet but not cloying, as close to fudge as you can be without being fudge at all. Not exactly taffy but heavenly to chew. I mean, what is not to like?

Killer death oil ingredients, that's what. Crap. What's next? Cyanide in the pop-rocks? Arsenic sprinkled on dill pickle potato chips? Sigh. I wouldn't let DD eat the tootsie roll either, I threw it away. DH thinks I have lost my mind (well, even more than usual) - either that or the tofu is affecting me in a very bad way. I explained that if I think hydrogenated fats are poison and won't eat them, then I wouldn't feed them to anybody I love either. I also sweetly told him to shut it lest I start lacing his lunches with bits of tootsie roll. It would be like the perfect crime, to poison him with nostalgia. No court in the land would convict me. BWA HA HA HAAA!

Yeah. He said I am not funny. *Snort*

Exercise kicks my butt

2008-08-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Crunches suck. Double crunches I am sure came directly from the imagination of satan. And leg lifts? Leg lifts illicit language from my angelic mouth that would make a sailor call his mama and cry. There is this thing where you lie on your side, lift your leg just a bit, point your toe, and sort of draw little circles in the air. Not BIG circles. Big roundy circles are easy. No, leeetle circles. Easy, right? Twenty little circles made me sweat through my clothes, utter two words I've never heard myself say, and wish for a calamity to befall the club I was in so that I would have a good excuse to stop.

Another diabolical maneuver entails lying on your back and holding a yoga ball suspended over your lower abdomen. Then you simply (!) lift your legs one at a time to touch the ball without putting them completely down until you have done 20 on each side. Good crikey. After TWO on each side my hair was soaked, I was shaking with the effort, and considered cutting off my legs at the knee to make them lighter to lift.

On the upside however, I have discovered I like boxing. Well, not REAL boxing. I like wearing pink boxing gloves and hitting the padded hands of a trainer in various patterns. Left, right, left, uppercut. Right, left, right, uppercut. Rapid jabs on the left, rapid jabs from the right. Alternating hands. The first few hits were pretty wimpy. Believe it or not, it is not in my normal nature to haul off and hit somebody. Well, at least not without a good reason. But as it continued and I realized that it was not hurting her and, after all, it was HER suggestion to do this...I got into it. It really is a workout. Holding your arms up (to protect your face I presume) and swinging the arms takes more work than it looks. Add some footwork (set number of punches, run and touch a wall, come back and do so many punches, then run and touch the wall, and so on) and you got your strength training AND cardio in one puncherific activity. Pretty cool. I wonder if I could get DH to wear some padding ;).

Anyway. Enough about all that. I am sure I can find something else to whine about. Like going back-to-school shopping for DD tonight! By the time we were done the child was grounded, DH was not talking to either of us, and my eye was twitching. We managed to get all her school supplies except lined paper, glue, and a new lunch bag. We didn't fare so great on the clothing front. There were some clearance shirts that would be perfect for the warmer afternoons, then layering under a hoody or light jacket for the cool mornings or air conditioning. No good "outfits" though. She still has a lot of long sleeved shirts and a drawer full of jeans she HAD to have but refuses to wear. Well, it's either wear them or go to school in her unders. I sense she will decide the jeans are wearable after all. I wanted to get her another pair of croc style shoes but they didn't have any in her size where we were and I didn't think I would survive another store tonight.

It is past my bedtime as it is. Wish me luck tomorrow. I have a date with my personal trainer (Hi Bonnie!). I suspect there are more crunches and a yoga ball with my name on it.

Mmmmm......pink soup

2008-08-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

DD and I made borscht today. Basically, we made vegetable soup with the additions of beets and a LOT of dill. Beets and their greens, a whole bunch of fernleaf dill, carrots, potato, green beans, lentils and romano beans mixed with veggie broth and simmered until it was all magenta and tender and tastey. I always add lemon juice and a strip of peel to mine as well. At the very end, I stir in some balsamic vinegar. While eating, we like to add a dollop of sour cream to the bowl and stir it all together into a steaming bowl of heavenly pinkness. This time my beets did not come with tops so I used spinach instead. And while I generally use canned or dried beans, the market had shelling beans so we used those. They were speckled with red so I thought they would look nice, but they lost the marks as they cooked. Everything takes on a pink hue from the beets anyway LOL. Wowee, those beans are good! Very firm without being hard, and creamy with a smokey flavour. I think I will go back tomorrow morning and get a whole hamper full to cook and freeze. Finally, my beets were not as sweet as they usually are, so I added some leftover corn cut from the cob for more sweetness.

Traditionally this would be made by simmering a meaty beef or pork bone. But several years ago I made a version without because I had found getting the right "parts" too hard, and wanted to try a lower fat version. And I LOVED it. There was no hardened lard floating around in the cold soup (perfect if you like a cold beet borcht although we normally eat it heated). No bone chips, or gristly meat pieces. And the broth ends up with a cleaner, brighter flavour. This soup looks beautiful, freezes well, reheats like a dream, and has the most interesting blend of flavours. Sweet from the beets, salty from the broth, sour from the vinegar (plus tang from the sour cream), and bitter from the greens or spinach. It sounds so in-your-face and brash, but that is the magic. It isn't brash at all. If anything, it has a subtleness to it that just amazes me.

Anyway, who can say no to a bowl of pink soup?

Apparently DD can. She helped me make it, and to her credit she did try the broth (with and without the addition of sour cream). She was polite about it, but clearly did not like it. I was thrilled she even tried it - after all, there ARE veggies in there you know ;).

This is before the sour cream is stirred in. I think it is pretty when it's in there, but it photographs rather like vomit after having too much strawberry milk and a big salad for lunch then deciding to go on the tilt-a-whirl. The before picture is MUCH better LOL.

I also made meatless breakfast sausages. It involved making a dough of wheat gluten and spices and some mashed beans, forming them into little logs and rolling them into foil squares like tootsie rolls, then steaming. They LOOK exactly like brown and serve type sausage links. They smell a bit like pepperoni. Only problem? Too soft. I was hoping for something chewy like a well-cooked sausage link and these are very squishy. Not horrendous browned on all sides and covered in ketchup (how I would eat real sausage anyhow) but I might try baking some for a bit to see if they firm up. The flavour is good, so I am hopeful. As a last resort I will smash them flat before browning to get more dried out surface to squishy innards.

In non-food related news, Ruby went for a grooming today. Her groomer has moved to a new salon, in the basement of a house. The price was the same, and the results were good so I will follow her there. She pinned a pretty purple ribbon to the Doodle's pink harness, so maybe the theme of today is magenta after all!

Tomorrow I have a yoga class in the morning (just trying it out. Wish me luck and cross your fingers that I don't cause damage to anybody including myself. I have this fear I will try something and lose my balance, then take out a whole row of left-nostril-breathing-yogis like so many enlightened dominos). Then I have a session with a personal trainer in the afternoon. Wish me luck there too. The weight training is going fine. It's the 10 minute warmup on the bike and 15 minute cardio at the end on the cross trainer that are more likely to kill me. I am sure it is humerous to watch as I try to remember to put one foot in front of the other while moving my arms AND breathing at the same time.

The last time I managed to somehow hit the button that increases the incline and it got intolerably high before I even noticed it. But you see, in order to make the controls work you have to keep walking to power them. It was too high for me to be able to keep walking more than maybe three steps at a time before stopping. So I would sort of sprint them, desperately mashing the "down" button in a frenzied hope it would work. Not so much. My trainer (Hi Bonnie!) thank goodness checked on me and was probably most surprised to find a one-man-keystone-cops tribute going on. She rescued me and fixed it and now she is my bestest friend. Maybe I will bring her some pink soup tomorrow.

Hmmmmm.

2008-08-13T15:14:00.001-07:00

I have always said I wanted a moat. Mostly because I thought it would be cool to have a moat around my house. And, of course, so I could have a moat monster in it. Or at the very least, so I could swim laps and not have to think about learning that turn-around-flippy-movement swimmers do when they reach the end of the pool. But mostly? The moat monster.

Our yard is not really big enough for a project like that anyway. In fact, I think it might even violate some by-laws or something. Which has always disappointed me, I'll have you know. No moat, no evil forest, no chickens. Dang city won't let me have ANYTHING good. Heck, after 12 years I am finally allowed to have a compost bin. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Why am I even thinking about this right now? Because I think we have a monster under our porch. On TV and in cartoons and stuff, whenever they want to express the sentiment "A monster lives here" they always show a darkened hole, or cave, or opening and just in front of it? A pile of bones.

There is a big crack between the sidewalk and the porch.

See that thing there? Let's look a little closer.

That there is a bone. The bone is next to the crack, and there is a little pile of gravel next to the bone. I have no idea where the gravel came from. There is DIRT in the crack, not gravel. Perhaps it was dragged from the depths of hell out of which the monster erupted to grab it's hapless victim, leaving nothing but a single bone in it's wake. Stripped of flesh and flung aside to serve as a warning to others that follow.

Or a stray cat got into somebody's garbage and found the edge of the porch a nice quiet place to savor it's catch.

Whatever. I prefer the monster theory. As for the city? I wonder how much it costs for a monster license.....

Too tired to go to bed

2008-08-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am so exhausted, that I don't have the energy to get up and go to bed. I keep thinking about how I have to do the "routine" and I just don't feel up to it. I have to put the dog out, take my pills, prepare veggies for Sparkle and deliver said veggies to said rodent. Delivery always includes taking her out for a cuddle and kissing her good-night. Yes - I kiss the hamster.

Then I have to bundle DD into bed and remake it around her because she manages to totally wreck the covers when she gets into it every single time. Give her a kiss and a hug good-nite which usually includes being called back several times for "one more kiss" and "I forgot to tell you". Then I have to let the dog in, brush my teeth, go pee (don't forget to wash the hands), set my alarms, get Ruby situated in the bed with Dingleman, turn off the light, get undressed, and climb into bed.

Doesn't that just sound EXHAUSTING?

Today work was even busier than normal for a Monday, and Monday's are very busy. Then right afterwords I had a bit of a drive to get DD from her Rock Camp. We had to eat dinner and go shopping for her "Rock outfit" she will wear for her finale. Since they will have photo shoots and things all week, she has to have it by tomorrow. We "shopped till we dropped" as she put it. By the time we got home I was ready to collapse.

Well, I think maybe I can muster up enough energy to go to bed. Wish me luck. Tee hee!

Not a fun shopping trip

2008-08-07T20:04:00.001-07:00

Shopping with husbands and kids is never fun. Nor is it ever easy. Anybody who has had to get their DH a pair of dress pants or school clothes for the kids knows that only an insane person believes it will go smoothly and without complaint. If he had his way, DH would walk in, grab the first pair of grey dress pants he sees, buy them, and squeeze them or pin them onto his body any way he can. Who cares if they are too tight across the arse, or hang well below the decency line. And why always GREY? Just once I want him to surprise me by buying a nice black suit, and having it altered to fit in the sleeves and the legs. And extra points of none of those pieces are leather. He always looks for a blue double breasted jacket, and I always hide them. I mean, that look went out in the eighties. It is time for him to get past that and join us in the here and NOW.

School clothes shopping with a girl child should be fun. But they never want the practical clothes (that happen to be on sale). They want the shirt made out of the itchy fabric they will refuse to wear but looks cool, and costs a car payment. If you make them try the items on, they will do anything to convince you that it fits, even when it clearly does not. Having to hold up a shirt to keep it from dropping around your ankles is a dead give away. So is fabric stretched so much that you can read the care tag THROUGH it and it ain't supposed to be sheer. They want the clothes from the summer clearance rack when you know full well winter is coming, or the black velour track suit that will be all but unbearable to wear because we are expecting steaming temps. Shoes that rub feet raw or freeze toes, little purses that are constantly forgotten places and finally lost, and what is with the hairbands? We buy them by the dozens for "Back to school" and then they are never seen again. At least not on a head, sometimes we find them twisted into collars for stuffed animals or used to anchor blankets on the side of a fort made out of couch cushions.

But do you want to know what pales all of that in comparison?

Shopping for life vests.

That is right, life vests. One wouldn't think there would be enough choice to have to "shop", but these things come in several styles and sizes and yes, indeed, must be tried on. The fact that you have to figure out how to unclip everything, put the thing on, adjust each and every strap, and do it all back up again means this is not going to be quick. Now figure that three very different sized and shaped people need to find a vest. My eye twitches even thinking about it. Of course, that is because I have experienced it and know the hell it is in reality. Picking one out for yourself is sanity testing enough (I mean, what am I looking for? It's not like one LOOKS better than another. And how are they SUPPOSED to fit, exactly?). But having to go through the process for two other people is maddening.

Two people standing there like dead flounder - if dead flounder could stand that is - staring lifelessly as you wrestle them into a vest, adjust each strap, and clip them in. Wordlessly they stand there. You have to watch for clues now as to fit adjustments. Turning blue? Too tight. Choking noises? To high. If it goes down too far they won't be able to bend to sit - something that would be terrible to discover as you are getting into a canoe. Is the fabric slick enough that it won't chafe, but tactile enough that it won't constantly ride up? Can they move their arms freely? Turn their heads? As you undo each clip and start the process over again with a new vest, they get hotter and bored-er and start asking "Are we done yet?". You mumble under your breath that I-am-not-doing-this-for-the-fun-of-it and are-your-arms-painted-on. This is your signal that the trip has started to tumble into the abyss.

We reached this point. I looked up to find myself half burried in a pile of personal floatation devices, and I had long ago lost track of which ones fit and which didn't and which ones were contenders and those that were complete write offs. I finally picked ones for the best reasons. One because it was blue, and the other because it had a whistle. Those are winning atributes if I ever saw any. Especially when faced with so many choices and unwilling models.

As they were being rung in, the cashier mentioned something about MOST of the life vests being on sale, but not the ones WE picked. DH has a greedy little man inside himself that would kick a grandmother to save a dime. I could see that greedy glint inside his eyes and sensed he was tempted to go back and look them over again, and find one that is on sale. I told him if we didn't pay for these right now and leave, he was a dead man. I must have looked serious, what with the flushed face and disheveled hair and sweat stains from struggling with their dead weight. He paid, and we left.

Smart man.

Doc Oc, suck my toe

2008-08-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

I am a reasonably intelligent person. I have a university degree. Why is it that I cannot reliably count to eight? I am working on a lacy sweater to wear at work. Something just to cover my shoulders, a little longer than a bolero but not too heavy. The lace pattern is relatively simple, with a beginning and an end sequence with a repeat of eight stitches in between. Do the start, repeat the 8 until you get near the end, then do the end sequence. Easy enough, right?

Well it would be, if I could manage to follow a pattern and/or count to eight in a reliable manner. I mean I know I CAN count to eight. I have done it. One two three four five six seven eight. I can even do it in more than one language. Un deux trois quatre cinq six sept huit. Ein swei drei fier funf sex sieben acht. Un dos tres cuatro cinco seis siete ocho. I am sure with the help of babelfish I could come up with even more languages to count in.

But when it comes to knitting eight stitches repeatedly, or trying to count stitches on a needle I am hopeless. I keep ending up with extra leftover after my repeats are done. Or running out before I am supposed to. Yes, I double checked the pattern and did indeed find an error and corrected it. But that was not the problem with my counting, unfortunately. What. The. Hell.

And to top it all off, my lip is swollen. Well, not the ENTIRE lip. Just one spot. I think I had a reaction to the yogurt I had for lunch, but according to the ingredient list there are no culprits I can point to. Sigh.

I think I will take a shower and have a nice cup of tea and read cooking magazines. No counting required.

That is NOT an olive

2008-07-31T19:21:00.000-07:00

Doesn't that just strike fear in your heart? Did you start reading this, heart palpitating, wondering just what I found in something that I thought was an olive, and it turned out to be something totally different? Possibly totally dreadful? Well prepare to be totally and dreadfully.....disappointed ROFL!

I bought what I thought was a black olive and rosemary focaccia, but somebody must have put them in the wrong pile because it was NOT black olive and rosemary. The dark bits that looked like olive pieces are carmelized onions, and I have no idea what the herb is. Thank goodness it wasn't sun-dried tomato, I might have hurled. It is okay, but drier than the olive bread and oddly enough, the onions impart no flavour to the surrounding dough. The pieces themselves are good, but there aren't many. I would have been even more disappointed if I had bought it on purpose I think.

So my turkey sandwich with roasted marinated peppers and brie cheese was only just good. Normally they are AWESOME. I didn't realize until I got home that the brie I bought was chevalier - goat milk brie. Not that it matters. It is very good and creamy, not too salty, but I have to admit it tastes quite...well....goaty LOL. I bought some creamy goat cheese spread a little while ago that has a great taste and texture, but the aftertaste is goaty goaty goaty. Funny how that is fine for me in a feta, but in brie or cream type cheese? Not so much. Now, for the uninitiated. Cheese made from goats milk can be "goaty" in different ways. They tend to have a tartness or tang. That tanginess? That is good goaty. There is another variety of goatiness that is NOT sought after. This is what I am talking about. It's a sort of gamey, barn-like taste usually experienced as an afternote. It's like the barf breath one experiences after sampling several cheeses, only with eau-du-goat-barn mixed in. How is that for a description? Tee hee!

I am just not batting 1000 with food lately. I made a batch of oatmeal cookies from a new (untried until now) recipe. I mixed some yogurt covered cranberries into half the batch. I have been thinking of these cookies all week. How did they turn out? Meh. Too sweet for me. They spread too much and though I like crisp cookies in general, these are more like brittle. And the cranberries seemed to have melted right in and disappeared. Next time, I will try yet another recipe, and use regular dried cranberries instead. They did smell awesome, though.

I might try to convince DH to take me to Outback this week-end. I have been craving steak, and I can't find anything good enough to buy and make at home. Is it just me or has beef looked horrible lately? And for that price! Oh well. It's not like I'll starve ;).

So THERE.

2008-07-30T16:02:00.000-07:00

Today at work I stepped on a "bug". That term is a euphamism, because that thar varmint was a cock-a-roach. A person in the same room freaked out on my head for stepping on said "bug". "Everybody around here knows not to kill anything around me". She said it in a very snotty way and I didn't like it at ALL. I mean come on, I am the person that has been trapping flies in the house to let them back outside for gawd's sake. But when it comes to lunch rooms and cockroaches? I don't feel like having to hermetically seal my lunch, thank you. Having seen fridges invaded by said icky things, the best policy is to kill on sight.

I explained why I did it, and she snarked "That is impossible. This place is constantly being sprayed. I should know, because I sent a petition around asking them to stop the senseless killing". Okay lady, you need to up your dosage a bit. I know what a roach looks like, and I am not talking a smallish doobie. Several boxes had been delivered and were stacked in the corner, it is possible it came from one of them. What is the point of staring a squished insect in the eye and denying it's very existence? "Next time, THINK before you do something" she tossed back at me as she was leaving the room in disgust. I had to stop for a moment and wonder if maybe I was in a parallel universe or something.

Later in the day I walked past her desk, and noticed a number of little items on display. Namely those little sleeping critters, kitties and kittens, curled up, about palm sized, and made of FUR. Yes, ladies and gents, she was displaying items on her desk made from the skin of dead animals. Most likely rabbit, but who knows where they came from and what they were really crafted from. Out of shock I blurted "Let me get this straight. I can't stomp a roach in the lunch room, but you have a desk full of dead animal skin? How is that right?". She argued that they were not made from real fur. I begged to differ. She continued to state "No they are not". Apparently, saying something over and over as loud as you can makes it become true in her world.

But I could tell as the moments ticked on (as she was petting them and turning them over and looking at them closely) that she was beginning to realize that they WERE made from real fur. I could see it in her eyes. And I know she is the type that just may sit up all night, rocking back and forth and possibly even gagging at the thought of what she had done and feeling very very very guilty.

And I am just evil enough that when I picture this, the words "My job is done" pop into my head. Tomorrow I might let her in on the fact that the "beef" listed on her frozen dinners just might be veal. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaa!

Xena fly trap

2008-07-26T18:09:00.001-07:00

Not a venus fly trap. We have a Xena fly trap. There are some basic differences. When a fly touches a venus fly trap, fluids are released inside causing tension (tersion?), which makes the two sides close around the insect invador. Then it is slowly digested. When a fly buzzes a Xena fly trap, it makes her eyes dialate, her chin quiver as she makes "chitchitchit" sounds, and causes a rush of adrenaline to be released inside making her bounce off walls and knock things off tables. If the fly manages to escape the clutches of the venus fly trap, it simply flies away to fight another day. If a fly escapes the grasp of a Xena fly trap, she continues to track it all over the house. More bouncing off walls and breaking stuff.

A venus fly trap digests the insides of the insect. The dry, empty exoskeleton blows away - leaving no trace of what happened. A Xena fly trap menaces the fly until it is too tired and damaged to live. Then she leaves it where it lies, since a dead fly is not fun that is funny. The leavings are often in a place directly where bare human feet will step. It is one thing to step on poop or a hairball. It is another entirely to squish a barely dead fly while walking into the bathroom half asleep. Even more disturbing is the fact that a dead fly is not interesting to investigating pugs, but a squished dead fly apparently smells much more appealing and a tasting is often in order. I do not know what is worse, if the pug enjoys the squished treat and finishs it off, or when she does not and spits it out back onto the floor. Blech.

I do not believe that there is a link between venus fly traps and pugs, but in this house there is a love-hate link between the Xena fly trap and Ruby.

A venus fly trap grows best in boggy areas with a lot of moisture. A Xena fly trap avoids moisture at all costs, unless it is in a glass or her water bowl. However they do both enjoy periods in the sun. Xena is black, and when she lies in a sunbeam she gets so toasty and warm, there are times when I just want to put my chilly feet under her. But that brings us to another important point. To anything larger than an insect, a venus fly trap is harmless. Xena fly traps are not so innocuous. They bite. They especially like to bite toes.

I suppose it could be worse. We could be living with a Xena catch-hornets-and-bring-them-to-mommy. *Shudder*.

Just so you know

2008-07-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

Spraying your entire body with Febreeze? Doesn't take the marijuana smell off you. It makes you smell like pot and Febreeze. Just so you know.

Now, not that I have needed that info for my personal self, but a person we met recently really needs this advice. Of course, this is after my daughter had hers over several times to swim and play. DD was at their house for a short time before going for a bike ride but hasn't asked to go back because "their house smells funny and the dad sits on the couch in his underwear. And they both smoke in the house". And of course, she tells us this more than a week after she went there. My child needs to get quicker with the 411.

So anyway. Sometimes there are things we want to tell people, but just can't for one reason or another. Like the other day, when a woman asked me to watch her toddler while she ran to the bathroom in a store. I didn't even have DD with me, and frankly, I looked a mess. I wanted to say "Excuse me, but I cannot watch your child because I am a STRANGER. A stranger that looks like a public health risk. A stranger that looks like she might have a mental illness (why ever else would she dress like that and leave the house with that hair and a knitted purse in 90 degree heat and 100% humidity?). This is not a good idea at all". Of course, I didn't say that because we all know I am not going to steal or hurt the child. Plus she walked away before I could even reply.

Or the time I politely said it was okay when somebody bumped me with their cart in the grocery store. It was a hard hit, and really, I was pretty pissed off about it. It jarred my back, and if they had been paying more attention to where they were going instead of talking loudly on a cellphone AND rifling through stuff in the cart while moving, maybe it could have been avoided. It wasn't so much the bump that ticked me off, but the off-hand way the apology was muttered like it was annoying to have to say anything to the person they just rammed into a shelf.

Wouldn't it be so freeing to walk up to that person wearing so much perfume you can taste it in the air, and say "YOU STINK. Wash off some of that perfume. You smell like a hooker". Or to the person who bypasses the line and walks right up to the counter and shouts an order that "even vultures are smart enough to wait their turn!"? When a co-worker asks if you "would mind" doing something for them that obviously is crap work or else they would do it themselves, to say that you really DO mind and don't have time to take a pee, let alone do their work for them.

But we don't say these things (for the most part ROFL!). We smile politely and do what we are supposed to do as dictated by pleasant society. All the while thinking about what we WANT to say.

Sometimes these thoughts are so contrary to my usual, outward self that it makes me laugh. I mean one of those startled snorting laughs when something is so outrageous laughing is about the only thing you can do. We were at the mall and a young man pushed down a senior and stole her shopping bag. There was a chase. He got tackled, and the good samaritan held him down until a secuity guard caught up to them and helped get him up. They were holding his arms tightly and he was fighting to get away, and was yelling and whining that they were holding his arms too tight and hurting him.

What sprang into my mind? What brand of "serves you right" dances across my cerebral cortex at that moment?

"Shut your piehole. Just be glad that guy doesn't snap your fucking neck like a twig". Of course, I didn't say it out loud. ;)

Mmmm.. Muffins!

2008-07-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

DD just made some blueberry muffins from a packaged mix. She and DH don't like real berries in their muffins. And I have to admit that for a long time, I didn't either. They were always too sour and too goopy. Now that I have learned to appreciate a muffin that is not as sweet as cake, I have learned to appreciate real fruit in them as well. I generally don't eat these muffins they make because they are basically sugar lumps with no nutritional value.

But I have to admit, they sure do smell good. Almost as sweet smelling as candy floss, but frooty. LOLOL. Like boo-berry cereal! Remember that stuff? I wonder if they still make it any more. You can't get it here, but that doesn't mean they don't make it for another market.

I must have PMS. I have been snappy lately, and when sweet things smell good to me you gotta know SOMETHING is going on. I've been craving chinese food too. Not the kind that I make that is good for you, but the gloppy deep fried, sauce covered stuff you get in a restaurant catering to non-asians. Sigh.

My new job is going well. I like it, and I think I am catching on. I have learned a few lessons though. Such as, even a stranger that is nice to you and trains you for your new job will sell you up the river at a moments notice rather than admit a mistake. I could have repointed the finger back at her (with concrete proof), but instead I figured what was the point. It would just make me look defensive. I looked very serious, apologized for the error, and promised it would never happen again. And that is for sure, because I will never trust that person again. Check and double check! I've already had to lock her out of one file because she was making changes in there and causing me grief. It is my job now. You can wait for me to get out of the bathroom so I can do your request, don't touch the files lady!

Other than that little glitch, working outside the home has not been the disaster I was expecting LOL. Traffic is pretty good back and forth, there haven't been too many curve balls as far as duties, and I haven't run out of work clothes yet.

I am being beckoned to join my DH and DD in a subarctic swim. Since I am pale and puffy and with these hairy legs I could pass for a polar bear, I guess it is appropos. See ya!

Sleeping beauty

2008-07-12T11:53:00.001-07:00

I will say one thing about going back to work outside the home. I really miss my afternoon naps ROFL. But because I have been having trouble falling asleep at night, I have forecfully kept myself awake and nap-free, then going to bed early (10:00pm). I was hoping that those hours of sleep (nine, I get up at 7) would be more than enough and that after about a week or so I would no longer be walking around a yawning, sleepy mess.

Nope. I think I am an 11 hour a night person. Now, that doesn't mean I have ever really gotten those eleven hours (other than as a teenager when it seemed sometimes I slept for days at a time LOL). What I mean is, maybe I have so many years of sleep debt to work off that I won't ever get caught up. Or at least it will take a mite while longer before I feel "rested" when I wake up. We can all dream, can't we? (Was that a pun? Hmmmmm).

Last night I went to bed at 9:30pm, for some reason I was just exhausted. Then I got up at 8. Well, Ruby got me up at that time, after wriggling around with her stomach growling since seven a.m. while I ignored her LOL. I got up, let her out, fed the animals, read the paper, and had a breakfast of a Low GI High Fiber blueberry muffin, and a coffee. Then I laid on the couch to stretch out my back for a bit, and the next thing I knew it was almost 12:30 in the afternoon, and there was a pug belly stretched across my face. It's a good thing she almost smothered me, or I might never have woken up. So much for no naps. Sigh.

Yesterday my nephew had his "friends" birthday party, and had a company called Zoo2You come out. It was FABULOUS. The man that brought the animals was very friendly and good with the kids, and the animals were interesting, very tame, and extremely calm. They all amazed me, looking around at the kids and not trying to hide at all. My favourite was the baby kinkaju. So adorable! He also brought several lizards, a snake, tortoises, a sugar glider, two chinchillas, a cane toad, and a BABY KANGAROO! My sister gave the kids disposable cameras to take pictures with, and several of the adults had cameras as well. Every time he brought an animal out, the flashbulbs started. It was like they were being mobbed by the papparazzi ROFL! But the animals didn't seem fazed at all. I guess he has all sorts of things, and spiders and things too. But you get a mix at a party - he kind of sees what is in a good mood that day. Definitely a good time, and very hands on. He brings them around so you can touch them and see them up close, and some things you can even hold. I had the snake around my neck because DD wanted to but then got too scared. He was very very patient with the kids and didn't seem rushed at all. No tarantula or hissing cockroaches this time. I can't decide if I am disappointed ;).

Afterwards we all ate and the kids swam, then there were sno-cones and cake and ice-cream, and the biggest platter of candy I have ever seen. Nobody can ever say my dsis doesn't know how to throw a kid's party!

It's just not fair

2008-07-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I could NOT fall asleep for the life of me. Finally I got up and did some computer work because laying there and not able to get comfortable was not so fun. Then I drank a cup of "sleepy time" tea, which helped a little.

So I finally fell asleep, although I still wasn't very comfortable.

And guess what I dreamt?

I dreamt that I could not fall asleep.
After a night like that, it should be illegal for it to be a Monday.

Just sayin'.

For sale: Dead plants

2008-07-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

Every year I buy plants for the garden and yard. Every year MOST of them get planted, but invariably a few whither and die of neglect in their homely, thin plastic nursery pots. This year we have the assorted casualties, and a few that are hanging on - only just barely. Hopefully they will be planted this week-end. If not, the eulogy can be expected some time next week.

There are four pots of the happiest clematis you have ever seen, waiting to be placed in their forever home. They are happily entwining with each other and are even blooming. How I will ever detangle them is a mystery to me. Then they will be cast into the pit of darkness - a hole dug - well, pick-axed anyway - in the heavy clay soil. Sure, we will amend it with good stuff and make sure their roots have some chance of a foothold. But right now, they seem so happy on the patio. Poor things don't know what is in store for them. Our yard is pretty tough. After all, to live here you have to be able to fend for yourself and survive cold, drought, and pug investigations. I just hope the plants we already have don't gang up on the new clematis vines and take their lunch money. I already know Ruby likes them. Every time she goes out, the return trip involves a wide circle over to the pots so she can sniff some of the open blooms. I keep trying to get a pic but I miss it every time.

Dh wanted to know why I do this every year. Do I buy more plants than I need? Do I change my mind after getting them and decide I don't like them? Do I just get tired of playing that game and lose steam before I finish? Probably a little of all those things. Stuff comes up. The day goes, and mosquitoes come out. I do lose steam. Sometimes a bed proves smaller than I expected once I lay everything out. Sometimes colours don't go together like I planned. Sometimes DH's should mind their own business and pretend not to see the languishing flat of marigolds on the patio, if they know what is good for them. *cough*

So. What were we talking about again? Plants? What plants?

Ah yes, the crappy stapler and the broken chair.

2008-07-03T18:23:00.000-07:00

There is a universal office politics rule that the new person gets the crappy stuff. That is just the way that it works. In some offices it is an establishment of the pecking order. The "Don't forget that you are the new girl and you get what we say you get" thing. In others, people who have been there longer feel they deserve the good stuff. After all, they did their time suffering with half-stapled papers and the smallest monitor - let somebody else put their time in. In other offices, it seems to be a waste to let good equipment sit unused while their own stuff isn't working properly. Workstations are stripped piece by piece until you are left with....well.....a crappy stapler and the chair that broke ten years ago and keeps being moved from one place to another while nobody is looking. Don't go on an extended vacation, because you will come back to the broken chair. Your stapler will stay put, but your chair is fair game.

I have to admit, I love my workstation. It is a cubicle, but relatively open and easily twice the size of your typical office cube. I am also blessed with a skylight above, at a good angle. It does not produce a glare nor do I get sunbeams directly on my head (you know, to fry my brain) but lets in a wonderful diffuse light. I love that kind of sunlight. It makes the area bright and cheerful but does not interfere with my monitor. It doesn't seem like the workstation has been stripped, as this office has a pretty liberal supply policy. If you need it, they think you should have it. Happy workers are productive workers. I like that. Never-the-less, I did find it hilarious that my stapler does not work well, and my chair has a permanent lean to the front. I am not so worried about the stapler, I have little use for one and two steps away is the copy center (with four different staplers to choose from as well as several kinds of hole punch). But the chair is a bigger issue because of my back. Day two, and I can feel the strain.

I was given permission to trade it with another spare workstation, but I have to tell you I snickered as I traded chairs. As a peace offering to whomever will be assigned there, I included the stapler, three yellow highlighters (I hate those things), and a really good staple remover. They will be needing it, what with the crappy stapler and all.

Tee hee!

Tortilla Recipe

2008-07-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

As requested. I got this from Recipezaar, recipe 286397. The ingredients are from the recipe, the directions are mine.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup vegetable shortening (I use butter, or even better was Earth Balance vegan margarine)
2/3 cup hot tap water, plus some additional if needed

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt. Cut in the fat until it looks like fine crumbs. Stir in the hot water just until the dough comes together. Use your hands to make it into a dough ball. Knead for five minutes, adding flour if needed to keep it from being too sticky. Divide dough into 6 or 8 pieces. Form each piece into a flattened ball shape. Place back into the bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let the dough balls rest for 10 minutes to 1 hour. The resting makes it easier to roll the dough.

Heat a heavy skillet (cast iron is great if you have it, I don't so use a heavy non-stick skillet) while you roll out a dough ball to the size and thin-ness desired. Extra points if it comes out round LOL! Cook on one side until you start to see bubbles/dent things and a peek reveals some dark flecks on the underside. Flip over and cook the other side until you see the dark spots/flecks. The recipe says 30 seconds on each side. Sometimes it is that fast, other times I cook them longer. Store flat in a sealable container. I place a paper towel in there to absorb moisture until they are cool, then I take that out and toss it.

As one cooks roll out the next one. It seems like a crazy pace at first, but after some practice you will find that your dough is rolled out and waiting before the one in the pan is done. I wish I knew how to do the hand pat technique I have seen, where a little dough ball turns into a large, paper thin round by slapping it back and forth.

I can't say how long these keep because I use them up within two days normally. I have used half and half white and whole wheat flour and really liked them (I prefer whole wheat tortillas, DH and DD like white). I haven't tried all whole wheat with this recipe yet. Sometimes I use the whole amount of baking powder, sometimes not.

If I ever make it to Mexico, I am getting a comal, a tortilla press, and one of those hot chocolate whisk thingies with the wooden rings.

Shut up and eat it

2008-07-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

Dh called me from work today laughing.

As he was eating his lunch, he mentioned that he doesn't normally like whole wheat buns and he wasn't sure that he would like this new lunchmeat (Carribean chicken - it's a seasoned chicken) that I picked out for him - but he was pleasantly surprised and he really liked it. One of them said, well, if you don't like whole wheat buns why do you buy them? And DH explained, no no, we didn't buy them. I baked the buns last night while he was in bed.

The guy said "Let me get this straight. Your wife BAKED fresh bread to make the sandwich for you, after picking out a special lunchmeat to put on it, planning the whole thing a week ahead. For a bag lunch to bring to work.". DH agreed those facts were correct. Immediately he got a smack to the back of the head, and a "WHAT'S the matter with you! I made my own PB&J in the dark of dawn on the crust ends because that's all that was left. I hear you complain about your lunch again and we are trading". ROFLMAO! Yes, I guess when it comes to lunches he is a little spoiled.

But really, when it comes to making bread and buns, most of the time to bake bread is in the rising and baking. With quick rise yeast and a kitchen aid mixer, from start to finish the process is like two hours max. And most of that is waiting time so you get to do other things. I have abandoned the starter. Mostly because DH and DD didn't like the REAL taste of bread LOL and I liked it a little too much. The experience was not a bust, just not the right time nor audience. So I will stick to packets of yeast for now and bake bread when needed, and not because the starter needs to be used. It might keep some of that bread out of my mouth ;).

Well, tomorrow I start a new job. One where I actually have to get dressed and leave the house and stuff. I am scared to death, really. DD and I went shopping yesterday after I realized that I have no good work pants and as for shoes? Showing up on the first day in day-glo green crocs is probably not the best idea. All of my dress shoes bit the dust years ago. My last pair had become my every day shoes and are covered in paint, and generally look like they have been dragged around by a wild animal. A good polishing with a soft rag just was not going to cut it. She helped me pick out a few pairs of pants ("Well, those ones make your butt look a little less huge, but the front looks puffier. The other ones are better. Just don't turn around"), some new tops ("That fit's nice but makes your boobs look gigantic") and a dress. I need a body shaper under the dress for sure, but according to DD I am the most beautiful thing on earth in that dress. It's a long sheath thing, and it does actually look nice on me except for a few bumps and bulges to be ironed out. How she can look at that and declare it acceptible even with my hideously large breasts and gigantic bum I will never know ROFL.

She also helped me look for shoes, although she was there more to be company and ogle at the newest trends(what can I say, she is my kid) while I looked for flats that don't make my feet look fat. "Are these too high?" she asks, hoisting a pair of fire engine red shoes with 6 inch metal spikes for heels. Yeah, a little too high for me. And by the way, I am not a transvestite hooker. No, I did not say that to her but I sure thunk it. She has good taste in purses though. It is going to be scary to see her closet when she starts shopping for herself with her own money. With those expensive tastes, she is going to be starving in a dark hovel of an apartment but will have killer shoes and the best purse LOL.

We also got her some summer clothes because her favourite store was having a big sale. And none too soon, she has grown out of just about everything she owns in the last few weeks. Once again, arms and legs still fit but they have gotten short in the middle.

I promised her we could swim at one o'clock today, and that time is upon us, so away we go. Try and enjoy Canada Day!

How do they do it?

2008-06-27T08:47:00.001-07:00

I cannot, for the life of me, roll out something to be round. Square, rectangle, amorphous blob. Got those shapes down pat. But round? Forget it. So I can make flour tortillas that taste so good as to make a man weep for his dead mamasita, but they look like amoebas. I have resisted the temptation to roll them out then use a template (like a dish) and cut them out to get perfect rounds. I mean, they don't have to be perfect as long as I can still use them as a wrap. The ones that can't be used that way are eaten by tearing into bits and dipping into some tasty substance (like hummous....mmmmm!). But a roundish shape in general would be nice.

For some reason the karma gods like to play with me, and only give me half of a talent. For example, I can make gravy so good you want to drink it, but my mashed potatoes suck rocks. My tortillas are light and taste like heaven, but they look like hell. My pies are picture perfect but the crust? You have better chances munching on that magazine page. Why must it be this way? Good karma, why hast thou forsaken mich? Am I not a good girl? Do I not open doors and be polite, keep my opinion of ugly babies to myself, stifle the urge to laugh out loud at the person who walks around with toilet paper on their shoe? I haven't killed anybody yet. I do not steal. I do not covet. *cough*. Okay, so sometimes I covet. But the really biggies? The stealing and murder and adultery? Yeah, I don't do those. Wait a minute. Those might be rules from a different god. Maybe that is my problem. I need to learn to get my deities straight.

So summer vacation is upon us. DD has been out of school a total of two days, and already she has spent time on the floor whining that she is bored and has nothing to do and nobody to play with and blah blah blah. This does not bode well for the days to come. But since I will be working outside the home for a change and DH will be the one home to listen to that lovely diatribe on an hourly basis (instead of little old me) the thought is almost amusing. I wonder how long it will take Mr. "Day camp is a waste of money if somebody is home" to decide that shipping her off for a few hours ain't such a bad deal after all. Plus, if she isn't home she cannot add to the mess. He didn't think I sent her off so she could have FUN, did he?

Today is my last day of some contract work and I have a problem I have been working on for way more time than it should be taking. Sometimes a break is the best thing for this. Step back, do something else for a bit, and wait for that a-ha moment. So I came to blog, and I am still waiting for my brain to come up with some kind of answer. I hope I am not over-estimating my brain's ability to solve problems on it's own, because lawd knows the rest of me is not being of help at this point. My feet are cold and want socks, my ears are ringing and begging me to stick an ice pick in there to unplug them for once and for all, and my stomach is screaming for lunch. I hope my brain works well under threat of mutiny. I wouldn't know for sure, because most of the time we are barely on speaking terms. The fact that I don't stop breathing once I fall asleep is about all I can be thankful for sometimes.

Off to grab a handful of Triscuit Thin crisps, a few grapes, and some cottage cheese. Then back to work!

Sinus Sludge

2008-06-26T07:12:00.001-07:00

Sounds like the name of an alternative punk band ROFL.

This cold (or whatever it is) is still kicking my butt. Now it has moved pretty fully up into my sinuses and my ears. Nothing is "green" so no medicine for infections, but for goodness sake. I am ready to shove a garden hose up my nose and flush everything out to release some of the pressure.

I have been working very hard hours on the contract project and I start my new job next week after the holiday. And I have to praise DH. He is doing so well. He has been cooking dinner every night without so much as a word of input from me. Before I even realize it, it is dinner time and BING - there is dinner. He has also CLEANED. Last night he cleaned the bathroom, and did DD's room. Then he attempted the living room but I can see why that wasn't finished. There are too many things in there right now that don't have a real home yet, so there is nowhere to put them "away". Let me take this opportunity to say that I am real proud of him.

He even took DD with him today to fix his mother's bathroom sink. Which, by the way, is the fix-it project that took over the world. A week of going every day to LOOK at sinks. Two days to BUY a sink (had to bring one back because a piece was broken). Another three days of taking the old sink apart and finding worse and worse problems with the plumbing. I will be glad when this is done, because she calls a million times per day about the darn thing. Today DD is going to be his helper and hand him tools and hold the flashlight. In a bathroom smaller than most closets. With a MIL and a 110 pound doberman sticking their noses in as well. It should be fun (ROFLMAO). Good luck to them.

I have big plans for this week-end. Finish planting the garden (I know I know), finish making a planter for the front (I know I know), and finally getting this house clean and clutter free. We are taking NO prisoners this time. We will have to post a warning on the door "Don't stand still too long or you might be thrown out, sold, or donated" - tee hee! This house has to get in shape for when I start work, and I plan on having somebody come in every two weeks to clean. If that is not keeping it up, every week then. Dusting, vacuuming, floors, bathroom. If there is time, stove or fridge. That should do it. Wish me luck.

Well, enough of a break. I've got programming to do. Have a great day!

Sparkle's Big Adventure

2008-06-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

DD had a nightmare and woke me about 3:45am. I brought her back to bed, got her all tucked in, and was walking out when I noticed the top to the hamster cage was open. No sign of Sparkle inside the cage, nor on the dresser. I even checked inside the food bag LOL.

Trying to remember the last time you saw your daughters hamster after being awoken suddenly at 3:45am is hard enough. Add cold medicine, plugged ears, and a flaming throat to that. I didn't want DD to freak out, she loves that hamster with all her heart. But, there ARE two cats in this house. They don't bother with her in the cage or when we have her out, but who knows what they would do with it wandering around the house by itself in the dark.

I did a quick check of the bathroom and living room areas. Then I got a flashlight and was about to check DD's room when she said she heard some rustling behind her bed. I moved a toy and turned on the flashlight, and who should I see scrambling to me? SPARKLE! Safe and sound and pretty glad to see us. She came right out and climbed into my hand. We often wondered what would happen if she ever got "lost", and I guess now we know! I am glad she stayed in DD's room though. It would be like searching for a needle in a haystack to find a hamster in this messy house. DD was overjoyed to get her back. The first thing she did this morning when her alarm went off was check on the hamster LOL.

DH and Ruby slept through the entire thing. We could hear them snorning in unision from across the hall. DD said "Don't they know it is an EMERGENCY?!?!?". Apparently not LOL. Once I got her settled and back to bed, I went back to bed and woke Ruby up by accident. She looked a little confused. She sat up, stretched, yawned, did her nyup nyup nyup, then just sat on the pillow and stared at me. No Ruby, it is not time to get up. That is why it is dark. Go back to sleep. She did eventually but I kept wanting to giggle because she sat there for so long just looking around, like she couldn't get back to sleep and was bored. I could see her blinking in the darkness and it cracked me up.

Then my sister called and told me she spent the night in the hospital with kidney stones. I wish she wouldn't have so much trouble with those! She's had enough happen to her without that. There must have been a disturbance in the force last night, causing all this ruckus.

I have work to do, but I just wanted to share Sparkle's big adventure. I wonder how she got that door open, and if she can do it again. It's a pretty good fall from the top of the dresser to the floor. I don't want her to get hurt. We'll have to keep an eye on that. I have to admit it is possible that she was taken out of the cage from the top and put back in the bottom, leaving the top open by accident - that has happened before but we always caught it before she got out. I wonder though. Why do these things always happen in the middle of the night? Interesting.